. . . because I couldn't find a decent cilice in my size.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Look for the union label . . .
Or the tears from a Chinese prison laborer.
We are the goon squad and we're coming to town - *beep*beep*
They are the pride of America — Team U.S.A. — and for the opening ceremonies of the Summer Olympics in London, they’ll be proudly wearingred, white and blue, from beret to blazer.
The classic American style — shown in an image above — was crafted by designer Ralph Lauren. But just how American is it?
When ABC News looked at the labels, it found “made in China.”
When I first saw a picture of these uniforms, I thought, "Why is the crew of Air France flight 239 standing by an American flag?" After all, the beret is not only the traditional head gear of the Gauls - in America, the only berets to be worn with a uniform should accompany BDUs and be either maroon, green, or black, and if you don't understand what I mean by that, you're a pinko Commie, dude - and the red and white slash on the cap looks more like the French tri-color than the Stars and Stripes.
And what's with the socks and flats on the women's team uniform? It is like a satorial mullet - business on top, Catholic schoolgirl hi-jinks on the bottom. Please, if the drag queens of America can march for miles in heels during the various gay pride parades, our female athletes can stand a couple of hours in low-heeled pumps.
I am glad to see, however, that women are finally making inroads to the sport of polo. I wonder what the other sports' emblems look like? Oh . . . this isn't the American polo team, mes amis. Rather, the twee man on a horse wielding a mallet on both the blazers and the berets is to advertise Ralph Lauren's Polo brand. I understand that to the sponsor belongs the spoils, which is why in the past a discreet Nike "swoosh" has been seen - but when your corporate logo is one of the sports featured in the games, perhaps you can scale back on it a bit.
It is not that these uniforms are ugly . . . they just do not show the past "we're-here-to-win-take-no-prisoners-let's-show-them-team-USA!" spirit of our past Olympians. Unless, of course, we mean to look emasculated, so many of these athletes having grow up in a world where scores are not kept in soccer and baseball games for fear of damaging some little nerd's self-esteem.
And to make matters worse - they're not even made in the USA. Those wily Chinese - buying our country and soul bit by bit. What is interesting is that Ralph Lauren, who got the gig from the US Olympic Committee to design these uniforms, is a high-profile donor to the Democratic party . . . which means don't look for the union label, as the song goes, and certainly don't look for the American unions to bitch about this work being sent overseas, because he's in the same league as them. Hello, International Ladies Garment Workers Union - are you still there?
But hey, to purchase one for my own closet, it will only run me . . . $1,473.