Sitting on the tarmac at Los Angeles airport (whose code is LAX, which was taken as the motto of its unionized workers) after flying in from Atlanta, I've decided I want an Emotional Support Assistance animal for my travels.
More specifically, I want a monkey. I'll name him Boo Boo and teach him to snarl at people I don't like. Those who fall in the True Asshole category will have his poo flung at them, on command.
And . . . with an opposable thumb, he can carry my credit card and fetch my drinks on the plane from the attendants in the back. Between his canines and propensity to hurl defecation, I think Boo Boo will provide fast service.
I'm calling my therapist now to do the paperwork.
Boo Boo, the Emotional Support Assistance Minkee.
I don't have a picture of a snarling monkey, but here's LAX after we landed.
1 comment:
There are a couple of monkees available and looking for a sponsor @ 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Let me know if you want the phone number.
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