When They Get Older, Do I Also Need to Get Them a Training Bra for the Breasts?

My husband sent me the following email:

Fwd: Live Chicks In Tractor Supply Co. Stores Starting This Week


He wants to pick up a couple of chicks.  And have chickens.  You now, those little buck-buck-bucks that scratch around the yard.

Why do I already sense the dogs licking their chops?

But look - they can be INDOOR free-range chickens!

The Hen Holster solves the problems typically encountered with chicken diapers: incorrect fit, uncomfortable fit, poor quality fabric, inferior construction, leakage, complicated to put on and take off, difficult-to-change liners.

The Hen Holster doubles as a harness! Want to take your pet chicken outside for a walk? Just snap on a leash and go!

Wait, what?  No, no, I can honestly say I have experienced "the problems typically encountered with chicken diapers" - really, THESE THINGS EXIST AND USED WITH SUCH FREQUENCY?!

AVAILABLE IN TWO STYLES: Wrap-around and Bikini! Both are comfortable harness-style diapers with removable liners available in three sizes to fit most chickens.

A bikini for a chicken.  That just seems . . . creepy.  And a diaper to boot makes it . . . okay, really f**kin' weird.

But I guess some people might find it stimulating - right, Ernie (and, uh, the link goes to a video that is NSFW for language, but remains one of the funnier newscasts to come out of NYC, okay)?

Meanwhile, The Crescat is thinking of getting chickens as well.  Good Lord.  Stay tuned for pictures should she succeed in her coop d'etat.