I have to admit, my mood is not the best today, thinking too much about a deception done me. Then I read a friend's blog post and it brought in me a huge feeling of frustration as to why very, very good people cannot enjoy a little happiness in life.
Yes, they did, for a short time. But I want more for them. And this is where I get frustrated, when I have to ask God, "Why? Would it have been so hard to let Q. live and allow them to grow old together?!" It bugs the hell out of me - we see idiots like Kim Kardashian and Sinead O'Connor make a mockery of marriage, and two decent people get only a brief time together. It really, really makes me mad.
But at whom? I struggle with sometimes shaking my fist at Heaven, because I want deserving people to be happy and I feel as if I am an ineffectual advocate for them against God, even in prayer. I know I am not the first or only to feel that. Read the Psalms - plenty of them bemoan what is felt to be an abandonment by God.
So I will pray for the Gem and Qbunny. And allow myself to shed some tears for them, both from frustration and for thanksgiving for the time they had together. I ask you to do the same.
