So Justin Bieber has been named in a paternity suit in California? Damn! Because it's a paternity case, it means the records will not be public, so we will have to rely on sites like The Smoking Gun and TMZ.com to get us the goods. I know they can.
But what intrigues me is the fact that the Petitioner in this case, 20-year-old Mariah Yeater, filed a handwritten declaration. I am going to infer that means she is acting in pro per, that is to say, as her own attorney. Oh, but not for long, I can guarantee that. In fact, I am waiting for Gloria Allred to call the first press conference. Please, this whole case is beiber beaver-chasing (because Gloria doesn't do ambulances) at its finest, just prime for her and her helmet hair.
And as for statutory rape, since at the time of the alleged conception, the Bieb was 16 and Ms. Yeater was 19? Myeh. California's Penal Code sec. 261.5(b) provides:
Any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor who is not more than three years older or three years younger than the perpetrator, is guilty of a misdemeanor.
Betcha the DA doesn't even touch it. If Justin's team is smart, stipulate now to do the DNA test with Justin picking up the tab (please, he can afford $500) and if he is the Dad . . . stipulate to an amount of child support and let his publicist spin him as the bestest Dad in the world. Exclusive photo shoot to People. Don't forget to register the chid with the Canadian authorities so he has dual citizenship.
Oh, and for God's sake, give her some money ASAP so she gets off of public assistance. Dude, you do not want to be dragged into court at Commonwealth by the Department of Child Support Services, trust me.
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