Kill, Papists, Kill!!!

In olden days a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking,
But now, God knows,
Anything Goes.
--- "Anything Goes" by Cole Porter

Last night I got an email from one of the teachers at my son's school - which is a Catholic school - about the basketball game the boys are playing tonigth against Apostolic Christian Academy.  It seems Apostolic Christian School has a dress code for their male students when participating in basketball:  a white t-shirt worn under the jersey and sweat or wind pants, no shorts.  The email asked that we make sure our young men were dressed according to Apostolic Christian Academy's standards while we annihilate them - hopefull, if God so wills - in basketball.  No arms, no legs should be seen.

My husband did not like that one bit.  In fact, he thought about showing up in shorts just to prove a point.  I talked him out of it - yes, we Catholics will meet the standards of this ultra-Christian school because that's who we are, people of charity.  And I hope we slay them in points for the heretics they are.

Oh, ease up, people, I'm joking.

Maybe.

But I will say, having looked at their website and student handbook, I'm scratching my head.  The handbook states: 

"Modesty is the Bible’s rule for dress. Since modesty is subject to interpretation, the school reserves the right to define modesty in situations not covered herein." 

Okay, I get it, dress should be modest.  So, the girls at the school must wear knee-length skirts and, if participating in PE, same-length skorts (I don't even know if their girls are allowed to compete in sports since I note only our boys are playing them).  The boys wear t-shirts under sleeveless basketball jerseys and long pants.  So . . . why is viewing the calves of boys sinful, or immodest, whereas viewing the calves of girls is not?  Evidently, shorts are the Devil's handiwork, because I note in the handbook this:

"Shorts are not permitted in the building. Parents are encouraged to dress modestly when dropping off or picking up their children. Anyone wearing shorts must knock on the day care window and wait for their child to be brought to them."

Tap-tap-tap . . . can I have my kid, please?

Really, I am surpised that they would even deign to play a bunch of mackeral-snappers like us.  Maybe we need to bring some inspiration, like a statue of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe.  Seriously, if I sat there while watching my son play basketball, saying a Rosary, will I be asked to put my beads away, lest their athletes be exposed to such Marian idolatry?

I cannot make the game tonight - and maybe that's a good thing - but I note they are playing us again, in our court, in early December.  Time to break out the smells and bells. 

And shorts.

Update!  We won!