The deadliest shooting in Orange County history unfolded Wednesday afternoon in a crowded Seal Beach beauty salon when a lone gunman opened fire, leaving eight dead and one critically injured.
Coworkers and customers of those killed speculated that the gunman may have been motivated by a long-running and bitter custody dispute with one of the stylists at Salon Meritage. Court records show that Dekraai has been involved in a divorce and custody case since 2007 and was in court for a hearing on Tuesday.
When I told my husband about this story, he wryly remarked that the Santa Ana winds are presently blowing in Southern California, adding, "The winds start blowing and people start dying." I don't open with this to sugest that my husband is uncaring, only to illustrate the madness of a situation like this.
To those involved in a custody dispute, I know how ugly it can get. But I want you to consider this:
The blue circle represents your time alive on Earth. The green circle is your child's life span. See the overlap? During the majority of that time, your child is an adult. That is the time of their life when they get to choose whether or not to have a relationship with you. That means that no matter what order is made in court for child custody or child support . . . it is temporary. Your child will eventually reach the age of majority and those orders will become moot.
So my advice is to take the high road. Demonstrate to your child ethics and integrity in any failed marriage, keeping in mind that a divorce is the death of a marriage, but not of a family. The family is just taking on new dynamics. I knw ex-spouses can sometimes be real bitches/bastards, but short of them fleeing the country with the child or truly being a danger to the child, deal with it. Your only responsibility is the relationship you have with your child and always keep your eyes on the big picture above.
Be the adult you want your child to be. And if remonstrate, "But the other parent is a real asshole!", well, if that is true, they will not be the only asshole your child meets in life. Now is the time to tea ch your child how to deal with such people so that you do not stoop to their levels.
What a senseless act in Seal Beach. It is a no-win situation.
1 comments:
Terrible news to hear and made me realize that communities are getting worse each day. He deserves to be incarcerated forever. Condolences goes to the family and relatives of the victims. nexgen knee recall
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