Virtus - Protecting the Children from Sexual Abuse

Driscoll, who is a teacher at Magnet High School in Cambria Heights, Queens, reportedly drove the boy to the Capri Motel in Lynbrook, N.Y. on March 19, 2011, and had "sexual relations" with him, police said.

And Driscoll is a female teacher. 

I attended a training session against the sexual abuse of children yesterday for the Diocese of Knoxville that is part of the Virtus program, managed by the National Catholic Risk Rentention Group, Inc.  A priest friend asked me to give him my thoughts on it, and I figured I would blog them here.

I liked the program, especially the two videos that were presented, one discussing how perpetrators get away with it, what type of behavior is common among sexual abusers, myths about pedophilia, and other good information.  The second video laid out five steps to having a plan to prevent the sexual abuse of children.

What I liked about the program was the fact that the topic was not sugar glossed over, but at the same time was not handled in a sensational way.  The videos featured the victims of sexual abuse and their families - including a young girl who had been abused by her priest and a teen girl who had been abused by her female teacher - and, surprisingly, two convicted offenders who discussed how they laid traps for children and what type of behavior they engaged in.  That was chilling, in that one of them seemed like a "guy's guy" and even coached girls' softball in what he called his obsession to be near children - I could see how the parents would be thinking, Coach is such a great guy, he gives up so much time for the team. 

One point of his story I thought was a good point to parents - he managed a roller skating rink and maintained a picture book of the kids who skated there; he did this because the kids wanted to see if he had pictures of them or their friends, and he could use a secluded place like the DJ's booth to molest them after luring them there with the album.  The album was also viewed by a number of parents, and this abuser was incredulous that of all the parents who viewed the book, he said, "Didn't any of them notice that more than 90% of the pictures were of girls between 5 and 10?"  Only one set of parents asked him to remove pictures of their daughter and asked for the negatives.  He said when that happened, he thought to himself, smart parents.

The stories - yeah, they are hard to watch.  One hit home with me:  a teen boy described how he would sort of "detach" from himself while he was being molested in the bathroom, and start imagining what secret world was behind the tiles on the bathroom wall.  I have a friend who went through abuse and I recall them telling me about that "detachment" during the sexual act.  I became slightly nauseated at that part.  The stories went across tha gamut - priest, camp counselor, teacher, a friend's father, men abusing both genders, female abusing a girl.  In short, it can happen to anyone and it can be anyone perpetrating it.  What distinguishes the abuser is certain behaviorial signs that the program discusses and hopes to teach the attendees to recognize.

One thing that the program put some focus on - more focus than I have seen before in these type programs - was the Internet and the risks therein.  The abuser is no longer on your block - he can bee two states away and still target your child.  During our group discussion, however, I noted something I had seen before, which is a lack of knowledge of the Internet beyond, say, Facebook - I asked if anyone in our group of about 15 adults had heard of Chatroulette and no one had.  No one knew what a "meme" was.  Few understood LOLspeak.  One woman said she had "heard" of programs to place parental controls and did anyone now of any?  A number did not realize that there were website extensions beyond .com, .gov, or .edu, not knowing that servers in foreign countries - as an example, .ru for Russia - are used by may pedophiles due to the lack of prosecution in those countries.  In short, I fear many parents are simply not Internet savvy while their kids are light years ahead of them - that, in my opinion, raises considerable risk.  I would suggest that the Virtus program consider a creating a resource, such as a newsletter, that is updated as new trends hit the Internet and wind up on your child's computer or their cell phone.

Now, some kudos to the Diocese of Knoxville:  everyone who will be a minister at a Catholic parish or a volunteer at a Catholic school - even a parent - is required to go through this training.  Period. 

At my former parish in the Diocese of Orange in Southern California, we would require the parents at our school to do 30 hours of volunteering as part of the school program.  No parent was ever checked and, if they wanted to, they could send a relative or a friend to do the volunteering for them.  Who knows who would show up to put in four hours at our annual fiesta - taking on the garbage detail, especially during the night time hours, it would very easy to be in a secluded spot with a child.  Or walk off school grounds with one, head around the corner, find an alley, commit the act, and return the child.  Scary thought. 

The problem with programs like Virtus is that they are too short and so cannot get into extreme detail.  But given time limitations, Virtus was instructional and a good resource.  And if someone who wants to serve God through their talents cannot give up three hours for the sake of the children (plus allow a background check), then may I suggest there is a lack of boldness in your faith.