Tomorrow I promised my kids that I would take them to Dollywood's Splash Country. You know, that same place that had an issue with a t-shirt reading, "Marriage is so gay?" No, for once I am not going to rage against the agenda, but because my kids want to go.
It won't be pretty. I will have to squeeze my lard ass into a bathing suit. Bad things happen when I do that. I was last in one while lying ona beach in California, and those goddamn do-gooders from Greenpeace kept trying to roll me back into the surf. "Free Willy" my ass . . .
But being in East Tennessee, maybe I'll blend in. Hell, maybe someone will ask, "Are you one of them models that throw up a lot?"
And I'm not bringing my camera - or, at least, not my Canon DSLR, Ronnie. Johnny the iPhone will be there, though . . .
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