Time to Rewrite "The Miracle Worker"

Public schools in California will be required to teach students about the contributions of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans starting Jan. 1 after Gov. Jerry Brown on Thursday signed a controversial bill to add the topic to the social sciences curriculum.

Theirs was the love that dare not speak its name

Textbooks now must include information on the role of LGBT Americans, as well as Americans with disabilities, though California's budget crisis has delayed the purchasing of new books until at least 2015.

But don't expect that timeline to hamper the enthusiasm of those supporting this new law.

Gay rights advocates said they will be vigilant about making sure schools across California comply.

With what, making sure disabled people are represented in the lesson plans?  I sincerely doubt that.

Leno said the mandates apply broadly, though, telling reporters it would affect kindergarten through high school curriculum, "and, of course, in an age-appropriate way."

How does one teach kindergartners about a person's sexual orientation in an "age-appropriate way?"  Does the teacher say, "Children, sports are important because exercise makes us healthy.  Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilovna are famous tennis players and what sets them apart from other tennis players is that they really like women."

"Miss Smith, why didn't they like boys?"

"Oh, they like boys, but not in the same way they like girls."

"Why?"

"Because Ms. King and Ms. Navratilovna, children, are what we call lesbians.  Let's see if we can spell that - L . . . E . . . S . . ."

Californians, ask yourself how many of your tax dollars will go to train public school teachers on how to implement this new law into their classes. 

And for the record, I don't like Black History Month or the fact that Cinco de Mayo was "chosen" by California public schools to represent Chicano culture because no teacher wanted to put in the effort to have a lesson plan in place by the 16th of September (which is actually Mexico's national holiday).  I do think history in California needs to acknowledge the impact the Spaniards and Mexcians had on the state's development, and the contributions of men like the Rev. Martin Luther King to our laws and culture.  But Dr. King is now known more for being (a) a Black man, who (b) was shot and killed because (c) he had a dream.  Selma, the Freedom Riders, all that is lost in the neat synopsis that occurs when the color or a person's skin, or their ethnic identity, becomes paramount over the actual events that merits their place in history.

So I am waiting for the Berkley - or Palo Alto - or westside Los Angeles - high school where the children will rewrite "The Miracle Worker" to be a "what if" play that explores Helen Keller's awakening as a young girl to her "true" sexuality.  And if that use of satrire offends you, too bad - no one complains when the same is done to Jesus Christ, except maybe his followers.  But they don't count.  California hasn't recognized Christian as an identity worth teaching.  Maybe we can ride the coat tails of Scientology lobbyists in Sacramento . . .