All in the Family

After months of discussion, they came to a resolution: “Mallory is my daughter and Jennifer is her aunt,” said Ms. Ashmore, 38, who lives close to her sister near Minneapolis. At home, Jamison sometimes refers to Mallory as his sister. But at school, said Ms. Williams, 40, “she’s his cousin.” The sperm donors, they agreed, had no place on the family tree.

This is not new.If you look at Jewish law in the Bible, the pattern of the Roman emperors at naming heirs, and the Celtic clans of yore, "family" has been defined in a myriad of ways, defying mere biology. 

If you are like me, you had the misfortune of being born into a family with some members you'd rather not know.  So I choose my "siblings" and allow them to be the aunts and uncles to my children.

But . . . don't confuse the children.  Jamison here seems a little confused; either Mallory is his half-sister or cousin, not both.  Drawing such lines provides structure to the children - trust me, they will catch up on the nuance later.  And I am wondering when Mallory asks about her "real" father (which will probably cause Mr. Ashmore to call his life counselor to deal with the "hurt"), will the terminology "sperm donor" be used?  Because that man is more than that, even if only for medical background. 

Imagine, if you will, being a child and knowing part of you came from a nameless, faceless cypher - scary or fertile ground for imagination, believing - and hoping - yourself to be a long lost Bourbon king?