Stu

At St. Joseph Church in Santa Ana, CA, we have a Mass for Memorial Day. It is not treated as a regular weekday Mass, but the attendance is fairly good, especially since the parish is located in an area populated mostly by Mexican immigrants.

Normally, there are no "special intentions" for this Mass. If you are not Catholic, Masses are usually "said" for an intention. It could be for anything, but most of the time it is for the soul of someone who is deceased. One of the spiritual works of mercy that Catholics are called to do is to pray for the dead, hence the popularity of having a Mass "said" for someone who is deceased.

Parish policy be damned. I called the parish secretary and let her know I wanted today's Mass be said for the soul of Major Stuart Wolfer, a mensch in every sense of the word, who was killed serving in the US Army in Iraq in April 2008.

"I'll have to clear it with the boss, " Vera said, referring to our pastor.

"Tell him I'll kick his butt if he says no," I told her. She laughed - she knows that he and I are good friends and it would be done.

Yesterday, I received a text from him: It would be my honor . . .

So for those who knew Stu, especially our fellow classmates from Loyola Law School, Class of '02, in Los Angeles, today's Memorial Day Mass at St. Joe's was said for him. I told my priest, Stu was a nice Jewish boy who would have laughed, not mockingly, and appreciated the gesture.

Normally, just a name is mentioned. Father John went out of his way to say a few things about Stuart. And those who showed for Mass on such a day, not a Sunday, they are the faithful, and heads bowed in prayer in remembrance of Stuart Wolfer.

Today's Gospel, from the Magnificat:

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.

After Mass, Father John and I went to lunch, at Johnny Reb's. They were selling today glasses of "Jarhead Red," as a special, with proceeds going to establish scholarships for the children of fallen Marines. John and I had two glasses each.

And with the first glass, John looked at me and raised it: "To Stuart Wolfer . . ."

I raised mine, "To Stu . . . and all who have fallen . . ."

I told John how Stuart had worked to make sure Jewish-American soldiers in Iraq had tefillin and psalm books to practice their faith. We agreed - honor be unto him who performed in the service of both his country and his God.

Keep these people in your prayers today.

Memorial Day

Remember Her

Army PFC Lori Piestewa, 1st Native American woman killed in action

Today is Memorial Day and while we often say, remember the fallen, invariably it is the image of a male soldier who comes to mind.

This year, let us remember especially those females who have served and died for our country. I found a site that gives a comprehensive view from the Civil War to present day hostilities, called The Women Who Gave Their Lives.

After the Battle of Gettysburg, July 1863, the bodies of two Confederate women, in uniform, were found. A Union flag bearer, also a woman in uniform, was killed on the hill near Picketts Charge. A young woman named Frances Day was mortally wounded while serving as Sgt Frank Mayne in the Western Theater.

During the battle on Anzio, six Army Nurses were killed by the German bombing and strafing of the tented hospital area. Four Army Nurses among the survivors were awarded Silver Stars for extraordinary courage under fire.

Lt. Lane died from shrapnel wounds when the 312th Evac. at Chu Lai was hit by rockets on June 8, 1969. From Canton, OH, she was a month short of her 26th birthday. She was posthumously awarded the Vietnamese Gallantry Cross with Palm and the Bronze Star for Heroism.

Capt. Kimberly N. Hampton, 27, of Easley, S.C., was killed on Jan. 2, 2004, in Fallujah, Iraq. Capt. Hampton, was the pilot on a Kiowa, OH-58, Observation Helicopter when it was shot down by enemy ground fire and crashed. She was assigned to 1st Battalion, 82nd Aviation Battalion, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

Remember the fallen. Remember her.

A Doll House

"To be quite honest, that is so incredible to me, that a staff member would do something so ... entirely inappropriate and unacceptable." He said board members "were all pretty dumbfounded."

Board member Billy Cook said: "The administration has to look at that. That's obviously inappropriate."

'Mommy, look what I got!' and I said, "Where did you get that and why?' It's disturbing to see," said the parent. She asked not to be named so that her daughter wouldn't be vulnerable to retribution at school.

My God, my God, what did this teacher do?

She handed out small, 4"-long plastic fetus dolls to show the size and development of a human being in utero. Not an aborted fetus, just a replica of an actual fetus.

Which, evidently, is "disturbing to see." Well, no, it isn't - what would be disturbing is if it were an aborted fetus, wouldn't it? BTW, if you check Google for an image of one of these dolls, make sure you type in "plastic fetus" and not simply "fetus", because some of the images you get with the latter are pretty gruesome. Because they are no longer in utero.

Dunce Degree

Meanwhile, universities like N.Y.U. enrolled students without asking many questions about whether they could afford a $50,000 annual tuition bill. Then the colleges introduced the students to lenders who underwrote big loans without any idea of what the students might earn someday — just like the mortgage lenders who didn’t ask borrowers to verify their incomes.

Proof that going to college doesn't make you any smarter.

I read this article, in which the author seems to do an amazing job of suggesting blame, and then letting the target say, "No, no, it wasn't me." Except the big, bad university.

But perhaps the biggest share lies with colleges and universities because they have the most knowledge of the financial aid process. And I would argue that they had an obligation to counsel students like Ms. Munna, who got in too far over their heads.

“Had somebody called me and said, ‘Do you have a clue where this is all headed?’, it would have been a slap in the face, but a slap in the face that I needed,” said Cathryn Munna. “When financial aid told her that they could get her $2,000 more in loans, they should have been saying ‘You are in deep doo-doo, little girl.’ ”

All the while, however, I am searching the article to find out just what was this girl's major at NYU. Guess what? It wasn't something like engineering, as she now has a $22-per-hour job working as an assistant for a photographer. No, it's "an interdisciplinary degree in religious and women’s studies." Well, ka-friggin'-ching!

And she is choosing to live in San Francisco, because she is "worried about her job prospects." Excuse me, what job prospects?

I would like to see what happens when a university like NYU turns away the first student on the basis that they are too "poor" to attend. Elitism! Racism! Actually, libs who want their kids to go to schools like NYU choose private institutions over state schools, so their kids don't have to mingle with the riff-raff. Schools like UCLA are an exception, but I am curious to know if SUNY at Plattsburgh also offered this kid's major.

BTW, I started my college at NYU. After a while, I could no longer afford it. Ditto for my parents. So before getting into debt, I dropped out, raised my right hand, and enrolled in the Army. I later went back to school at University of California, Irvine, getting a BA and an MS degree from there, the latter which launched a career in IT consulting. And then years kater I went to Loyola Law School. I have no student loan debt. It wasn't easy, but that's what "working your way through college" means.

"Interdisciplinary degree in religious and women's studies?" Hell, why hasn't she just entered an Episcopalian seminary?

Wot?

Chutzpah

"Many of the people appointed in the Bush administration are still burrowed in the agencies that are supposed to oversee the [oil] industry,” Pelosi said when asked if Democrats could have prevented or mitigated the crisis by keeping a closer watch on the industry.

But the Dems are blameless. Of course.

Does anyone take her seriously anymore?

Meanwhile, Don Imus bitch slaps Chris Dodd:

"You gotta do better than that, Senator."

Call It

Believe in folklore?

Gary Coleman, Dennis Hopper, and . . .?

I Think It's a Little Premature

I mean, she's not pregnant yet.

What?

How Was YOUR Day?

A tanker truck full of gasoline burns after it overturned and exploded on the eastbound Highway 91, east of Green River Road in Corona, Calif., Friday, May 28, 2010. The California Highway Patrol says the tanker, which was hauling a fuel trailer, collided with a car and crashed around 10:30 a.m. Friday on the freeway's eastbound lanes, about 50 miles east of Los Angeles. No injuries were reported.

I was on the 91 Freeway eastbound . . . for three-and-a-half hours.

:-(

Look for the Loophole

South Korea's Constitutional Court has ruled that human embryos left over from fertility treatment are not life forms and can be used for research or destroyed, a court spokesman said Friday.

"The ruling means that human embryos that are in their early stage and are not implanted into a mother's womb cannot be seen as human life forms," the spokesman, Noh Hui-Beom, told AFP.

Language is everything. So . . . if they are in their early stage . . . and implanted in the mother's womb, are they then life forms and deserving of protection?

Heckuva Job, Brownie!

The original sin in my view is that as soon as the oil rig accident happened the president tried to maintain distance between the gusher and his presidency. He wanted people to associate the disaster with BP and not him. When your most creative thoughts in the middle of a disaster revolve around protecting your position, you are summoning trouble. When you try to dodge ownership of a problem, when you try to hide from responsibility, life will give you ownership and responsibility the hard way.

This is why I have the "Falling Obama" game as a permanent bookmark on my computer.

There is a lot of shit that cannot be reasonably foreseen, like planes flying into and taking down the WTC. However, natural disasters - like Katrina - and high risk operations - like off-shore drilling - do. And what disasters like this show is that, in fact, no one will take responsibility and it is every man for himself.

Even locally, this brings to mind that scourge of Southern California . . . the wildfire. When the Station Fire tore up the 91 Freeway, it was evident that there could be a fire of such a magnitude that it exceeded the resources available to fight it. I do not fault the firefighters, because you cannot plan for every disaster. But no one has stepped forward to say, "Homeowners, when out-of-the-ordinary stuff comes down, are you willing to be deputized and help us?" Because they will, to protect their homes. Hence why I plan in the event of The Big One or a fire, I am taking care of my own.

Obscure Music Friday

Song: In The Name of The Father

Artist: The Thirsting

Why I Like This Song: I do not like most contemporary Christian music. It's pretty damn insip. But these guys not only rock out, they are "in-your-face" Catholic. Leave the "eyes-closed-hand-waving-to-Jesus" stuff to the Proddy dogs, the world throws more crap at us Papists that we need to have some more aggro music.

Change I Can Believe In

Because Decepticons are everywhere . . .

O-Bombs Away!

Warning: if you click on this, you will find yourself wasting most of the day playing this game.

Unless you're a Liberal. Otherwise, it's like watching the Best. Pinball. Game. Evah!

Special warning: Eddie, you have to get up and go to the bathroom sometime, 'kay?

Falling Obama

Click here to play this game

Bad Elves

Twenty-six chickens were mysteriously beheaded at a North Pole chicken coop this week. Then things got weird.

Troopers say they were called to a home on Sharon Road on Monday to a report of a mass chicken slaughter, with the carcasses laid out in a peculiar pattern on the ground.

There was no sign of the heads, troopers spokeswoman Megan Peters said. The carcasses had been laid out in a north-south pattern -- oriented with the coop -- in a roughly 12- to 15-foot line on the ground with a circular arrangement of corpses at one end, in something of a lollipop pattern.

Don't you see? It's the Lollipop Guild!

Oh, wait . . . that was Munchkins . . .

I think Santa better watch his back.

Ozzy Rocks

It's Not Worth It

Police say a man with a knife chased his wife through their Chino Hills neighborhood Tuesday and stabbed her to death in the street.

Samir Wahid, 39, was arrested at the scene in connection with the death of his wife, Iman, 33, according to San Bernardino County sheriff's spokeswoman Cindy Beavers. The couple emigrated from Lebanon, and Samir Wahid owned a construction company.

They were going through a divorce. I just found out a friend of mine is the attorney who was representing the slain woman. I will call her tomorrow, because I know she is devastated. As the attorney, you'd be second-guessing yourself: was there something I should have seen? What did I miss? Could I have done something differently? Another attorney-friend said that there were no indications that the husband would snap.

I like to remind my clients that orders in Family Law are largely temporary in nature. Child custody and support orders become moot with time because the children grow up. Spousal support is unlikely to last forever. As for property division, you're likely to buy new stuff in five years anyway.

But to kill someone and leave three grade-school children without parents, one dead and the other in prison? No, there is no excuse.

In Comedy, Timing is Everything

I bet shooting the breeze with Obama is painful.

The Nutcracker Suite by St. Joseph School

I am the unofficial Minister of Multimedia at my church/parish school. Recently, our kids put together The Nutcracker Suite. I put together this video of them for both the amusement of the parish (find us on Facebook!) and to help our pastor and principal woo some potential donors. We got great kids, we really do - they deserve to have someone open their wallet.

Block Three Times . . .

. . . on Facebook if you hate me!

With apologies to Tony Orlando and Dawn for parodying their song, "Knock Three Times," I recently had an occasion where, once again, I was blocked by someone on Facebook.

Now, a word about "blocking" on Facebook. If you are my "friend" on Facebook and I feel I really don't like you anymore, I can simply remove myself from your list of friends. Facebook does not send you any notification and, if you are the observant type, you will eventually figure it out. You can then send me a friend request which I can ignore until pigs fly.

But "blocking" - well, that's like something from Orwell's 1984. I become an unperson when you block me. I cannot see you at all on Facebook. I cannot see where you might comment on another's profile, I cannot find you doing a search to see if you would respond to a friend request, nothing. In short, when you block me, I have become anathema. I am dead to you.

And now, so far as I can figure it, I've gotten my hat trick. It could be more, but I know of at least three people who have blocked me:

• First there was a person who at one time I considered a friend, as well as his wife, enough to solicit prayer requests here on my blog for their unique intentions and even take her panicked phone call when she thought a member of their parish was putting the moves on her husband. But . . . I made the mistake of disagreeing with her over a rather trivial point regarding the location of a party and thereafter I became "no longer a friend" and some months later the husband blocked me on Facebook. What was funny was I happened to notice that the wife was using as her Facebook profile picture a photograph that I had taken for this couple at Disneyland as part of a portfolio they requested. Hey, at least my skills are appreciated even if I am not! But that's how I learned about "blocking", when a mutual Facebook friend brought to my attention that this fellow was still on Facebook and I thought he had stopped using the service. Block!
• Then there was a high school classmate who had, since college, decided to come out of the closet. Well, good for him. But in rediscovering each other, he found out I was a California family law attorney and just had to know how I felt about Proposition 8 and how I voted. Sure, I realized I was being set up, as another classmate warned me that this guy had been married and after some 15 years and a child told his wife he was "living a lie" and became a leather queen, competing in pageants. Evidently, there was a right answer and I did not provide it in my response. I remember his parting shot: "Well, if my partner and I are ever allowed by bigots like you to marry, see if you're invited!" I had to write back that I was very disappointed in him - we went to one of the best high schools in the country and that was the best he could throw at me? Block!
• And now there is another high school classmate who became a Facebook friend and proceeded to make snarky and rather nasty remarks regarding the Catholic church. I noticed one day he was "tagged" in a photograph by one of his young Mormon missionaries. When I looked at the rest of this missionary's photo album, I discovered anti-Catholic photographs that I posted here on this blog. Well, my high school classmate merely "defriended" me then, and recently sent me a friend request, to which I agreed. All was well for a few weeks - messages among classmates in which he carried on about how much he liked breasts, and then there was the drinking at our high school reunion and posts about how it was nirvana for him to recently see the Dalai Lama at Madison Square Garden. And then suddenly pictures of fellow LDS appeared again on his Facebook wall. So I wrote, jokingly, on his wall that I had seen him go from hedonism to Buddhism and now back to Mormonism, likely motivated by his childhood Catholic guilt, so when would we see him wearing peyos and kaftan and driving a buggy? He told me I needed to "get laid." Block!

What the hell is with people? Trust me, if you don't want me to be your Facebook friend, I don't want to be. But "blocking" seems to be the ultimate in narcisscism . . . you're just not that important.

Now, let's see who else I can piss off.

Uncle Paul

His parishioners describe Father Paul Griesgraber as "old school," a term that is almost laughably open to interpretation, given the 2,000-year history of his particular school, the Roman Catholic Church. In his case, it is used with affection and respect to describe a priest who trusts in the majesty of the Catholic Mass and invests it with deep spirituality — in both English and Spanish.

He is also a priest who brings people streaming through the doors of his church, St. Catherine of Siena in Reseda, a place that, in many ways, reflects the larger Archdiocese of Los Angeles. Once largely white, St. Catherine's is now mostly Latino. Immigrants have pumped new life into the parish, and Spanish-language Masses draw larger crowds than those in English.

"The church was dead," Olga Calderone, St. Catherine's health director, said bluntly of the time before Griesgraber arrived last summer. "Now we are bringing the cultures together. ... This is the beauty that Father Paul has brought to our church."

I am postingb this story because Paul Griesgraber is my husband's uncle and a very cool guy. And a very cool priest. If you're in the neighborhood, stop by and say hi to Paul. He only became a priest in 2006.

Perks on the Job

Showalter said she was preparing to board a return flight to Jacksonville last February when she was ordered by security officers to put her watch in a bin and place it on a conveyor belt. She said she objected several times but was told she had no choice if she wanted to board her flight, so eventually she complied.

When she was put through an additional security check, she again asked to be allowed to retrieve her watch first. Again, the answer was no, she said.

When she finally returned to the conveyor belt, the Rolex was gone.

Showalter’s attorney, Howard Coker, said TSA contends Showalter never had a Rolex on her wrist that day, something she vehemently denies. Security cameras apparently weren’t working, according to Showalter and TSA’s response to inquiries by U.S. Rep. Ander Crenshaw, R-Fla.

Buck up, it was only worth $25k. And the non-working cameras are pure coincidence . . .

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

Construction workers at the Solyndra Plant in Fremont will be spending the day at home Wednesday without pay as President Obama visits the company to praise its work on solar panels.

Union workers have been told not to come back until Thursday because of security concerns associated with the President's visit. Workers tell KRON 4's Kate Thompson this day off means they won't get paid.

Because photo ops are needed for the good of the nation . . .

This is How the World Ends, This is How the World Ends

Not with a bang, but with a fiery sucking sound.

The doomed planet is being eaten by its parent star, according to observations made by a new instrument on NASA's Hubble Space Telescope, the Cosmic Origins Spectrograph (COS). The planet may only have another 10 million years left before it is completely devoured.

The planet, called WASP-12b, is so close to its sunlike star that it is superheated to nearly 2,800 degrees Fahrenheit and stretched into a football shape by enormous tidal forces. The atmosphere has ballooned to nearly three times Jupiter's radius and is spilling material onto the star. The planet is 40 percent more massive than Jupiter.

All I can say is . . . wow.

Made For Each Other

It's been a long time since I read a New York Times wedding announcment that made me laugh - frankly, most couples have been pretty banal, even the gay ones.

But last Sunday's was a doozie! Quite possibly, these are the two people on earth that truly deserve each other the most.

Deborah Jacobs and Michael McPhearson

HERE are a few things Deborah Jacobs would never do: ignore a homeless person on the sidewalk, wear a flashy engagement ring, live in a gated community.

Immediately, the tone is set: the bride is better than you. Way better. Although, arguably, maybe she is just compensating for the fact that her cheap ass fiance bought a shitty ring.

Wait . . . no, Debbie is an executive director at the ACLU. Okay, yeah . . . she does think she's better than you.

By her late 20s, she was the executive director of the A.C.L.U. in St. Louis and living alone in a funky loft downtown. Her night life consisted of panel discussions on subjects like racial profiling or gay marriage.

In short, no night life. But, on the bright side, plenty of men with good advice on how to decorate her "funky" loft.

She met Michael T. McPhearson in October 1997 in a St. Louis bar where a forum was being held about police misconduct. Mr. McPhearson, a divorced Gulf War veteran turned peace activist, spoke out often in his friendly yet fierce way.

"Spoke out often in his friendly yet fierce way." I think they call it PTSD. Or he is just a dick - which later in the story may be proven true.

1997? Twelve years ago? Oh wait, was it a case of "we're-not-getting-married-until-all-people-can-get-married" syndrome, but at 42 the biological clock was going tick, tick, TICK and damn it, she was going to get some commitment!

On many of their dates they examined movies, advertising and songs together, searching for racist messages “hidden like camouflaged lizards in the leaves,” Ms. Jacobs said.

Soon, they were spending weekends rallying, picketing, studying the Constitution, blogging and jogging.

Okay, this may qualify them as the antithesis of The Most Interesting Man in the World - they are The Most Humorless Couple in the Hood. I can see them now, snuggled together on the couch, the lights down low, free trade wine in glasses on the coffee table before them, gnashing their teeth at Fox News. Isn't it romantic/you at a sit-in/on such a night like this . . .

“He shows good manners to everyone,” Ms. Jacobs said. “He puts toilet seats down, but not people.”

Subtext: I got his ass trained.

Mr. McPhearson, 45, said he liked the fact that Ms. Jacobs was confident enough to cut her hair very short and go out some Saturday nights without him.

When he would leave the seat up. And giggle his goddamn ass off.

Whenever their lives become too serious, they have a water fight or go shopping for clothes, preferably purple, Ms. Jacobs’s favorite color.

“People think if you’re a peace activist, you wear scruffy clothing and Birkenstock sandals,” said Emily Whitfield, a friend of the couple. “There’s nothing wrong with looking fabulous and fighting for justice.”

There must have been a lot of water sports going on because they never seemed to have any fun in their lives. But I understand the point about fighting for justice and looking fabulous - even Superman wore tights.

“He understands that by taking care of me, he’s taking care of our dreams for
social change.”

The more I read this, the more I feel sorry for this guy. You know what he needs? A vacation. Away from her.

Along with several of the guests, the officiant, the Rev. Osagyefo Uhuru Sekou, a minister of the United Church of Christ, has been arrested more than once for civil disobedience, and sometimes takes homeless people into his home.

Because a felon makes the marriage. Okay, I give up - this factoid was included in the announcement why? To give the couple street creds or something? Or for Debbie to appear hip and with it? My God, Alice, the Jacobs girl had a real activist at her wedding, he's even been arrested! Reading something like this in The New York Times makes me think back to Tom Wolfe's satire about Leonard Bernstein having a fundraiser for The Black Panthers in his upper East side apartment in the 60's. I got a chance to dance with the Revered at the reception - he's been arrested, you know, for civil disobedience. It was, like, dancing with history or Martin Luther King or someone . . .

A few days later, the bridegroom took off on his motorcycle for a two-week road trip — a kind of solo honeymoon.

“It just makes our relationship so much better to have our own adventures,” the bride said.

Oh, sweetie, I don't think he's coming back . . .

They See Me Rollin', They Prayin'

Al-Emo

Saudi Arabia's religious police have arrested 10 "emo" women for allegedly causing a disturbance in a coffee shop, Al-Yaum newspaper reported on Saturday.

The coffee shop owner in the eastern city of Dammam called the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice to complain after the young women, dressed and made up in the "emo" fashion, apparently began disturbing other clients.

How more freakin' emo can you get than a black burqua?!

(BTW, I learned that a sure fire way to piss off a Goth is to call them "emo." Don't be a hater, I like Goths.)

Reading is FUNdamental

I'd support Arizona just for this damn commercial.

BTW, I have read the law and still think its legal drafting is poor, although I support the reasoning for which it was passed. Just my $.02 as a lawyer.

The Prince and the Pauper

Sarah Ferguson, 50, allegedly asked an undercover reporter posing as a wealthy businessman for a $40,000 cash down payment in return for an introduction to the Prince, as well as a $724,000 fee wired directly into her bank account.

Oh, I can't buy that the Prince didn't know about this. The two of them are in it together.

And so what? The commodity that the Royal Family has is themselves. What does the money buy you? Bragging rights and possible introductions to people with whom you may do business and make some scratch. It is not as if Andrew and Fergie have access to British intelligence or can influence setting interest rates at the Bank of London.

Tacky, maybe. But it takes a lot in this economy to keep royalty afloat. Camilla is just pissed she didn't think of this first . . . or maybe she has.

It Got A Little Mad Around Here Over the Weekend

So blogging was light . . .

Gimme Shelter

Interesting graphic from the UK Mail showing the progeny of The Rolling Stones.

I lurve Charlie Watts!

He'd Prefer She Be the Dead Parrot

One man's loss is our gain.

John Cleese is to embark on his first-ever UK tour next year at the age of 71. The comedian, who recently agreed a divorce settlement believed to be in the region of £12m, has dubbed it the "Alimony Tour".

Cleese, who rose to fame with Monty Python, promised the show would be "an evening of well-honed anecdotes, psychoanalytical titbits, details of recent surgical procedures, and unprovoked attacks on former colleagues, especially Michael Palin".

Sorry the former Mrs. Cleese took him to the cleaners - but she had better expect to be a large part of the material for THAT act.

Because It's There

The eighth-grader's contingent confirmed by satellite phone on Saturday (Himalayan time) that his climbing group, which included his father, Paul, and three Sherpa guides, had reached the 29,035-foot summit. Previously the youngest climber to scale Mt. Everest had been Nepal's Temba Tsheri, who accomplished the feat on May 23, 2001, at the age of 16 years and 14 days.

The kid is 13 years old. And I can't even run a 5k.

Good for him. I hope he makes it down safely and continues with a long and happy life, occasionally affording the rest of us mortals a break from the mundane world.

Obscure Music Friday

Song: Gentle on My Mind

Artist: Glen Campbell

Why This Song Today: It popped into my mind immediately upon awakening. As a kid, I used to sit with my parents when Glen Campbell had his variety show and he always opened with this.

HELP NURSE RITA!!!

My friend, Rita Ray, RN needs your help!

She has entered a contest with Fish 95.9 and her video needs as many views on YouTube as possible for her to win. If she does, she gets to sing at Fish Fest.

She's a very devout Catholic, a wife, a mama, and a registsred nurse. And she can drink you under the table.

Go watch her video - AND PASS IT ON!!!!

They Really Aren't Looking Out for America, Are They?

As Mexican President Felipe Calderon ripped Arizona's new law clamping down on illegal immigrants in front of Congress on Thursday, Democrats and White House officials rose to their feet to cheer, including Attorney General Eric Holder and Homeland Security Janet Napolitano -- two officials who have confessed to not even reading the law.

Why are the Dems even pretending to care about this country?

As for Calderon, you can come and tell American states what to do when headless bodies stop popping up in your country.

Draw Mohammed Day - May 20, 2010

Okay, I drew the Prophet, his 9-year-old bride, and a cute puppy dog. What's so objectionable?

Maybe his wife would like the puppy dog as a gift . . . she looks sad. A lot of little Yemeni girls look sad, too. It's a bitch bleeding to death after your wedding night.

I Can't See What You're Saying

An article is making me rethink my use of texting.

Back in 1959, anthropologist Edward T. Hall labeled these expressive human attributes "the Silent Language." Hall passed away last month in Santa Fe at age 95, but his writings on nonverbal communication deserve continued attention. He argued that body language, facial expressions and stock mannerisms function "in juxtaposition to words," imparting feelings, attitudes, reactions and judgments in a different register.

We live in a culture where young people—outfitted with iPhone and laptop and devoting hours every evening from age 10 onward to messaging of one kind and another—are ever less likely to develop the "silent fluency" that comes from face-to-face interaction. It is a skill that we all must learn, in actual social settings, from people (often older) who are adept in the idiom. As text-centered messaging increases, such occasions diminish. The digital natives improve their adroitness at the keyboard, but when it comes to their capacity to "read" the behavior of others, they are all thumbs.

If we combine a generation of children who fail to develop social language skills and combine it with the prevalence of "helicopter" parents who work to keep their children from failure, we are faced with a future of non-adaptive adults who will remain drones .

In my work in Family Law, I have seen increasingly divorced parents who refuse to communicate with other except through texts. Much of this stems either from animosity, discomfort with confrontation, or a combination of both. Imagine having a conversation as to whether your 16-year-old son is mature enough to get his drivers license by text. It is crazy . . . but it is done.

I have friends who heavily text. I do not have unlimited text and I wonder if they are beginning to notice that I call them back when they text me. Texting is convenient - for example, asking someone to text an address or an email, so I have that information stored in my phone. Or it is 9:30 pm and I have a question that is not an emergency, but it would be helpful if I could get an answer now . . . I text out of deference to the possibility they may already be in bed.

But that silent language - let me give some advice to Family Law litigants in California. Trial is done before the bench, i.e., the judge - there is no jury. And yes, quite often things are reduced to a "he said, she said" scenario. But the judge is determining the credibility of the witnesses based upon not only to what are testifying, but how they are testifying. Deficiencies in that silent language can cost you your case.

Sharif Won't Like It

At Least Do It For Any Kids Standing Nearby

Name of group seen on Facebook:

Cops Should Yell "PIKACHHHHUUUUUU" Before Tasing Someone!"

Because Growing Old Does Not Have to Suck

The Real Golden Girls from GregGarry on Vimeo.

Home, Sweet Home

A judge ruled that Zeituni Onyango, 57, the Kenyan half-sister of President Obama’s late father, would be allowed to stay in the country despite ignoring a 2004 deportation order.

She made a previous unsuccessful application for asylum, based on violence in her native Kenya, after which she was ordered out of the US.

After she was discovered, Ms Onyango hired a lawyer and filed a new asylum request — turning up to one hearing in a bizarre disguise that included a curly red wig, sunglasses, and an ankle-length coat of black and white fake fur.

Although Ms Onyango attended Mr Obama’s swearing-in as a US senator in 2004, Mr Obama insisted that he had not known she was living in America illegally. She also attended his inauguration as President.

Any liberal decrying a lack of immigration reform, here's a tip . . . it's who you know.

Well, He is a Bush Kangaroo . . .

'Then on the return walk he was there waiting for me. With his male pride on full alert, he started circling me.

'There was no doubt about what he wanted, the randy old thing.

I yelled at him to go away, waved my hands about and let him know I wasn't interested, but he was persistent - I'll give him that.'

Steve and Bill

Go see more . . .

My Acceptance Speech

As posted on my Facebook:

Ladies, gentlemen, religious, and heretics alike - good evening!

[Wait for applause to die down]

No, no, please, you're too kind, far too kind . . .

I am deeply honored and humbled by the award of Most Bat Shit Crazy Blog in the 2010 Cannonball Catholic Blog Awards.

[Wave hands to calm down the audience when a cacapohony of more applause erupts]

I know, I know - we are all grateful to Kat - the Crescat herself - who originated these awards. And I am especially grateful to her for her vision of creating the category of Most Bat Shit Crazy for herself, figuring no one could come along and snatch that away from her. But hey, no hard feelings, eh, Kat? As they say, better luck next year!

[Point her out as laughter ripples around the room]

But we love ya, we really do . . .

[Lower voice to suggest gravity of next words, stare directly out at audience]

These awards, though, occur with the tinge of scandal. I am not referring to any scandal in the church - rather, there was talk that some contestants engaged in the sale of indulgences as a means of garnering votes. I stand before you tonight to say, unequivocally, The Digital Hairshirt did not sink to such depths. Maybe Orthometer. But not the Digital Hairshirt.

[Pause, then allow smile to come across face]

Hey, but we're celebrating tonight, aren't we? And in this joy, I wish to thank certain people.

[Put on fake reading glasses for scholarly look and shuffle papers]

First and foremost, I'd like to thank God. At the end of the Super Bowl, who gets thanked? God. At the end of the World Series, who is it? God. At the Grammy awards, who gets first mention? God. What can we learn from this, folks? It's simple - GOD CHOOSES WINNERS!

[Raise award over head and pump it while doing best Howard Dean yell, remembering to scream loudly enough to be heard over the thunderous applause]

I would like to thank my husband, Mark, for his patience and support as I strove to reach new heights of bat shit crazy. It was hard on him, learning as he has to sleep with one eye open, but he was always there. Thank you, honey, you're the best!

[Point at him the audience as he rises to acknowledge the applause]

And to my BFF, Mariana! Where are you, Liar, stand up and let 'em look at you! What the hell am I saying, God bless you! The Liar, everyone!

[As a joke, have Mariana seated in a wheelchair for an injection of Bidenesque humor]

A lot of people wondered how I managed to come from behind, forced as I was by Kat who opened voting purposely while I was away in New York in an effort to wrest the title from me. Come from behind? I left her eating my dust with over 100 points in the lead! But I could not have done it without some very special folks in four separate areas:

First, to my fellow classmates at Cardinal Spellman High School. You see, we have a private, "members only" page for the class of 1978, where I posted instructions as to how they could get in 3 votes each day. You could only vote once per day but not per person - PER ISP. So if you have a work computer, a home computer, and an iPhone, there's three votes in one day. Exponential, baby! Thank you to folks like Meesh, Laura, Ed, Trish - all of you, I love you all!

Second, to the fellow right-wing birthers clinging to their guns and religion over at the kingdom of Sondrakistan at sondrak.com. The porch minkees rule and when Head Missy instructs them to vote, they do so as an unstoppable bloc! I have twice been a grateful recipient of their keyboard clicks and Sondra's blog remains a home away from home. Plus, she owns a corgi! In fact, two!

[Pause and laugh as the audience claps in unabashed appreciation of corgis]

Third, I have to thank that lovely gentleman, the Buzz Bannister, Private Eye - John Kuntz, who made sure that everyone over at The Friendly Tavern got the vote out for me. Okay, maybe not indulgences, but I think I did promise to find a comely Goth wench for GothGuy, and extra ammo for Cuchieddie and Melissa. But it worked! And I thank them. Now, if anyone knows a lady with a penchant for tats and black clothing, call me. Cloven tongue gets a bonus - nothing like giving new meaning to the term "bi-lingual"! Hey, Mary Ellen!

Finally, to my fellow Sanjoseneros and Joe Mamas, the fine folk of St. Joseph Church and School. Sure, my blog got my poor pastor accosted at a Mass by some diocesan thugs because of something I wrote, and I hear they're planning a blanket party for him at this year's priest retreat, but hey! Anything to be pastoral! And the rest of you, like Trish and Imelda and Leanne! Great people! Great church! Great school!

[Stand back and smile beatifically as the audience erupts in unrestrained cheering]

Folks, folks, please . . . please . . . no, thank you, you're so kind, thank you . . . I will end by thanking Kat once again and say, I shall wear this award proudly and let the world know - I AM THE MOST BAT SHIT CRAZY! God bless you all, have a great year until the next voting!

[Crowd now goes bat shit crazy and while they do, stand and podium and smile and wave, occasionally doing the Richard Nixon double-peace sign. Continue waving as house lights dim and Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" starts playing . . .]

I Am Proud to Announce . . .

I will be posting my acceptance speech later on.

Rest in Peace, Dad

Fifteen years ago today I lost my father. Frank Martin was an outstanding Dad and my friend. Say a prayer for him today, if you can.

Yeah, that's Dad with a couple of broads. No, one of them is not my mother. Chances are she is the one taking the picture. She was always known for her great parties in the basement of her parents' house in the Bronx.

Here's Mud in Your Eye!

Surrounded by cheering rugby players, applauded by fellow members of the university netball team, 19-year-old Melissa Fontaine tipped back her head and giggled as fellow drinkers in the Students' Union bar pulled apart her eyelids and allowed them to pour a shot of vodka into her left eye.

'Vodka eyeballing', as it is known in student circles, is the latest drinking craze to sweep through Britain's universities.

Those who do it claim that it induces feelings of drunkenness at break-neck speeds, providing an instant high.

Not surprisingly, her doctor was stunned when she went to see him. Melissa, who previously had perfect eyesight, was referred to an ophthalmologist, who told her that she had permanent scarring on the cornea of her left eye.

Just what the hell is wrong with people? To follow up on my post below, I see behavior like this and people call marijuana a gateway drug? Guess it is . . . for stupid people. But barring that, they will find something else to do.

Sister Acted

A nun and administrator at a Catholic hospital in Phoenix has been reassigned and rebuked by the local bishop for agreeing that a severely ill woman needed an abortion to survive.

Sister Margaret McBride was on an ethics committee that included doctors that consulted with a young woman who was 11 weeks pregnant late last year, The Arizona Republic newspaper reported on its website Saturday. The woman was suffering from a life-threatening condition that likely would have caused her death if she hadn't had the abortion at St. Joseph's Hospital and Medical Center.

Sister Margaret deserves the consequences. While people may debate over married priests, Latin vs. vernacular, or what the Pope knew, one teaching of the Catholic Church is clear - abortion is a grave and mortal sin. In her vows when she became a religious, she made an oath to uphold the teachings of the Church which, presumably, she meant.

Why I am coming down hard against Sister McBride is not because I have no sympathy for the mother, but rather the idea that the pregnacy would have caused her death if she had not gotten an abortion at St. Joseph's Hospital.

The last time I checked, Phoenix is a large metropolitan center. This means there are numerous places at which a woman can procure an 11th week abortion. By allowing the abortion to take place in a Catholic hospital, Sister McBride not only completely contradicted the mission of the hospital and the ethics upon which it rests, but brought the occasion of sin to the staff who performed the abortion, staining their souls.

The Nick of Time

Truly, this is a frightening change in America. I would expect even liberal females to be with me on this:

In a controversial change to a longstanding policy concerning the practice of female circumcision in some African and Asian cultures, the American Academy of Pediatrics is suggesting that American doctors be given permission to perform a ceremonial pinprick or “nick” on girls from these cultures if it would keep their families from sending them overseas for the full circumcision.

A member of the academy’s bioethics committee, Dr. Lainie Friedman Ross, associate director of the MacLean Center for Clinical Medical Ethics at the University of Chicago, said the panel’s intent was to issue a “statement on safety in a culturally sensitive context.”

Dr. Friedman Ross said that the committee members “oppose all types of female genital cutting that impose risks or physical or psychological harm,” and consider the ritual nick “a last resort,” but that the nick is “supposed to be as benign as getting a girl’s ears pierced. It’s taking a pin and creating a drop of blood.”

What the fuck. No, at the risk of offending some readers, let me say that again - what the fuck. The American Academy of Pediatrics revised its formal policy since 1998 against female genital mutilation (FGM) to say now that doctors need to be more culturally sensitive to cultures who practice FGM - which are largely Muslim - by offering a ritual "nick" of a girl's labia or clitoris.

Oh, and the Academy has backed off calling it FGM - a term they used to use - to call it now "female genital cutting."

What is the practice of FGM? In its most severe form, it involves removal of a girl's exterior genitalia - labia (the lips of the vulva) and the clitoris. Its purpose is, in part, a right of passage but really it is designed to subjugate the woman and make sexual intercourse painful so that she is not tempted to stray from her husband. Unlike male circumcision - the removal of the foreskin - it does not have any Scriptural basis, whereas male circumcision was meant to be a sign of God's covenant with Abraham.

And the Academy knows this. How? Because the purpose of their policy change is to compromise to the families who might take their daughters overseas to have the real bad stuff done:

“If we just told parents, ‘No, this is wrong,’ our concern is they may take their daughters back to their home countries, where the procedure may be more extensive cutting and may even be done without anesthesia, with unsterilized knives or even glass,” she said. “A just-say-no policy may end up alienating these families, who are going to then find an alternative that will do more harm than good.”

I think it is ludicrous to think that a family who would consider flying their daughters overseas to have her genitalia removed will be satisfied by Dr. Friedman Ross' "drop of blood." Instead, removing the criminal aspect would allow doctors who condone this practice to engage in it without repercussions.

Dr. Friedman Ross said, “If you medicalize it and say it’s permissible, is there a possibility that some people will misunderstand it and go beyond a nick? Yes.”

But she said the risk that people denied the ceremonial procedure, usually on the clitoris, would opt for the more harmful one was much more dangerous.

So, it should be common practice in this country for parents to bring their daughter - who is usually pre-pubescent or has just started menstruating - to have her clitoris "nicked" for the sake of cultural sensitivity? "Don't worry, baby, it's like having your ears pierced." I do not recall having to place my feet in stirrups on an examination table while wearing naught but a drape to have my ears pierced.

I intend to call my pediatrician on Monday to ask her if she agrees with this. I think I know the answer but you should check with your own. You may wish to consider changing doctors for your girls.

Another thought - the Academy mentioned that they had to do this after hearing from doctors who said they were "afraid" that the girls would be taken overseas for the procedure and so this was the better idea. I remind those doctors that they are mandated reporters and if they think a child is at risk, it is their duty to report it to the appropriate authorities.

Unless, of course, they support FGM.

Islam Will Conquer Not By Force

. . . but by complacency.

Hello, American left, you usually have no problem calling Christians backward, dumb, brainwashed, evil, regressive and dangerous. So please, join me as I renounce these Neanderthal, 5th century, murderous bastards. If you won’t, than shut the hell up about Christians. Deal? I didn’t think so, spineless hypocrites.

The video above shows the entire attack on Lars Vilks, a Swedish cartoonist, who drew a cartoon of Mohammed with the body of a dog.

Europe is probably lost. Call it Eurabia and be done with it. At the age when I threw a backpack on and slept in cheap, filthy student hostels in my college years, I am not sure my children will be able to do so, except maybe in Poland. My daughter would likely have to wear a hijab to avoid problems.

Cultural terrorism. A man can place a Crucifix in a jar of urine and the intelligensia hails it as art, but a cartoon of Mohammed must be avoided for fear of "offending" cultural sensitivities. Our Attorney General, Eric Holder, cannot bring himself to say the words Islamic extremists.

This is how it is done. At the expense of democracy and free speech.

The house of Swedish cartoonist Lars Vilks, who sparked controversy by drawing the Prophet Mohammed with the body of a dog, was targeted in an arson attack overnight, police said Saturday.

In 2007, Swedish regional daily Nerikes Allehanda published Vilks' satirical cartoon to illustrate an editorial on the importance of freedom of expression.

An Al-Qaeda front organisation then offered 100,000 dollars to anyone who murdered Vilks -- with an extra 50,000 if his throat was slit -- and 50,000 dollars for the death of Nerikes Allehanda editor-in-chief Ulf Johansson.

Sure, why not?

My Medicine

Four Orange County medical marijuana users who argue that bans on pot clinics in Costa Mesa and Lake Forest violate the Americans with Disabilities Act have appealed their case to the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.

Matthew Pappas, a Mission Viejo attorney representing the users, said he believes the case has a chance of succeeding because of his interpretation of the equal protection clause in the 5th Amendment based on a 2009 congressional decision to lift a ban on medical marijuana in Washington, D.C.

Pappas also argues that the disabled have the right to use marijuana under the disabilities act with a doctor’s supervision.

Please . . . just legalize it. I hate seeing the amount of waste of state resources trying to enforce arcane laws against marijuana when there is no real threat posed to the public, except that threat that occurs - drug trafficking - because it is illegal.

The health issues are no worse than tobacco use - which is legal - or drinking - which is legal.

It is not a gateway drug. I graduated from high school in 1978. Back then, we smoked a lot of pot. A lot. And none of us wound up mainlining heroin.

Legalize it. Tax it, if you must. Let Proctor & Gamble establish quality grades so I don't wind up with bad shit. And this means that, just like salad greens, it will come packaged as ready-to-use, which is good because there is not enough room on an iPod to clean out the twigs and seeds.

Just Waiting . . .

Voting is done. Lobelia and Yxta can sleep but I am wide awake, waiting for the results from The Crescat's 2010 Cannonball Catholic Blog. Bitches can't even stay up with me . . .

Birth Control

I fiund a website I can relate to called Shit My Kids Ruined. If you are a parent, you will enjoy the entries.

If you are single or do not want children, it can be educational and inspirational.

If you are wondering about what came out of that kid's onesie in the picture above . . . yes.

Because Tattoos Are Costly

A jury in Port Angeles, Wash. acquitted 39-year-old Mark J. Seamands, the man who by all accounts branded his children, of second-degree assault charges, but deadlocked on two lesser charges of fourth-degree assault causing the judge to declare a mistrial.

The children were branded with the letters "SK," which stands for "Seamands' kids," according to CBS affiliate KIRO.

The father also branded himself. He testified he wanted to bring the family closer together while he was going through a divorce.

I will expect the Family Court judge to award custody to the mother. I do not know the law in Washington state, but something like this would quite easily result in an order for minimal supervised behavior.

I put chips in mine . . . no evidence.

No Soup for You!

Tim Rutherford, Senior Citizens Inc. vice president, said some of his staff recently visited the center and noticed people praying shortly before lunch was served. Rutherford said his company provides meals like baked chicken, steak tips and rice and salads at a cost of about $6 a plate. Seniors taking the meals pay 55 cents and federal money foots the rest of the bill, Rutherford said.

And so Senior Citizens, Inc. says they cannot provide such meals to low income seniors if those rapscallions insist upon praying before their meals, because it violates the separation of church and state.

Okay, not only is that concept somewhat insane, given the fact that once the meal is given to the person, what they do with it is their own damn business, but what the hell even moved the staff of Senior Citizens, Inc. to report the activity?

Kagan's Sexual Orientation

I don't care . . . unless she decides it is her basis for legal decisions other than legal reasoning.

BTW, I drive a Subaru and I'm a woman.

But I never played softball.

And I like "guy" flicks over "chick" flicks (and speaking of that, I saw Iron Man 2 and have advice for Gwyneth Paltrow - do not stand next to Scarlett Johanssan when both of you are wearing clingy outfits, because she makes you look like you have the body of a prepubescent boy).

Rochambeau

Saw this on Reddit and I have to admit, it got me to chuckle:

If a cop stops me in Arizona and says, "papers" and I say "scissors", do I win?

Say, speaking of lame jokes, today is the last day to vote for this blog as "Most Batshit Crazy" over at The Crescat. I am ahead by over 100 points, but every vote makes Baby Jesus smile.

Help a Homeboy

"If these were puppies or little kids, we wouldn't be in this trouble," he said. "But they're tattooed gang members with records. So I think a lot of people love this place, but not the folks who can write the big checks, the 'Save the Hollywood sign' check."

Homeboy Industries, a non-profit started some 20 years ago by Fr. Gregory Boyle to help East LA gang members get out of gangs, get clean, and get jobs, has to lay off some 300 people.

Maybe if the guys promised to go vegan?

Obscure Music Friday

Song: Feel Like Funkin' It Up

Artist: Rebirth Brass Band

Why I Like This Song: it has the New Orleans style I like. This video is funny, thouigh, as it proves Brad Paisley's contention that alcohol helps white people dance.

My Brush With Infamy

The Crescat recently boasted how she would not let it go to her head the fact that Mark Shea is now her Facebook friend and Amy Wellborn follows her on Twitter, and she had been ready to make her EWTN debut before than damn volcano got in the way of letting her go to Iceland.

Oh yeah? Well, well . . . I just found out that the Gustavo Arellano, archnemesis of Bishop Tod Brown and pretty much anyone wearing a Roman collar, and ace reporter for The OC Weekly, as well as the syndicated columnist for Ask a Mexican! follows my blog! I mean, hot damn! And here I was just writing this blog for my own amusement (well, okay, also for Cuchieddie's) and someone actually reads it!

And best of all . . . isn't Gustavo simply muy guapo dreamy? You can read his comments on my blog here!

So, neener-neener-neener, Cannonball. Sure, you may have powerhouses in Catholic apologetics following your blog, but I've got . . . that guy above.

Uncle Dave

A teacher instructs her fifth-grade class to ask their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end. The next day the kids come in and share their stories:

"My daddy told me about my uncle Dave," says one boy. "He was a pilot in Vietnam and had to bail out over enemy territory with nothing but a flask of whisky, a pistol and a knife. He drank the whisky during the drop, then landed in the middle of 20 enemies. He shot 15, stabbed 3 and killed the last 2 with his bare hands."

"What is the moral of this horrible story?" yelps the mortified teacher.

"Stay away from Uncle Dave when he's drinking."

Tit for Tat

Phoenix resident John Spencer said Wednesday night that he had canceled four summer trips to Los Angeles to protest a vote by the Los Angeles City Council to ban most city travel to Arizona and future contracts with companies in that state.

"I'm urging all my friends not to go to California this year," Spencer said in a telephone interview, adding that he had scratched trips to Newport Beach, San Diego and the Bay Area. "We're not going to come to California."

Okay. Enjoy the four months of triple-digit weather.

"It's just not fair," Spencer said of the council's vote.

See, I might have had some sympathy but when I hear people whine about "fairness" in a decision like this, it irks me. Friends of mine who have the misfortune of having to deal with the local impact of their city council's decisions as it pertains to more immediate needs of trash removal and street repair, they are the ones who should be pissed at their council for wasting the time on Arizona, not you.

There Is Still Time

To get over to The Crescat and vote this blog as Most Batshit Crazy. Polls are open until Friday, May 14th. You can vote once a day.

My High School Reunion

Last Friday I attended a party back in New York with my classmates from the Class of 1978 of Cardinal Spellman HS in the Bronx, where we all co-celebrated our 50th birthdays. I put this video together as a tribute to my fellow Pilots (as we were known back in the day).

You know, it was a delihgt - suddenly, all cliques that existed in high school dissolved and we were each other's friend. That makes sense, since the people who would attend would be the type to give a damn about their fellows.

I do miss New York. You do not grow up in a place as unique as the bronx and not spend the rest of your life comparing where you are to where you have your roots. Home is where my husband and kids are . . . but that doesn't mean I still can't pour a cup of coffee and read the New York Post online.

Spellman was - still is - an outstanding high school. The people in the video are quality. God bless and keep them!

Oh, That's Why They Have No Stinkin' Badges

When the government launched a nationwide campaign to register cellphones, millions of Mexicans refused.

Some said they were convinced that the government would use the information to spy on dissidents or anyone else out of favor. Others said they feared the information would end up in the wrong hands.

They were proved right last month when the confidential data of millions of Mexicans from official state registries suddenly became available for a few thousand dollars at Mexico City's wild Tepito flea market.

See, now I understand why they prefer to remain undocumented. No reconquista, they just want to be left alone . . .

All kidding aside, I think the Mexicans are on to something. Giving personal data to el gobierno is asking for trouble.

I still haven't returned my census forms.

Huzzah!

Long live the Tory Party!

Because It's Important to Have Standards

Two weeks ago, Katie Jean Arnold had her celibacy wake-up call. After hooking up with a stranger on the L train platform and going back to his place, she woke up at his apartment and decided to leave. On her way out the door, he came up to her, naked, and said the words she’ll never forget: “What’s your name?”

It was then that she made her Big Decision.

No. More. Sex.

She’s led a sex-free life ever since. It’s not a long time to remain chaste, you might argue, but the 29-year-old musician did a “celibacy cleanse” back in 2003 for eight months and says it made her feel fantastic. This time, she says she’s going to wait until she gets a record deal and puts out her first album before succumbing to temptation.

I know how she feels. Next time the Dow hits at least a 500-point rise in one day, I'm getting laid.

Speaking of the chronically celibate, remember to vote for this blog in The Crescat's poll - Most Batshit Crazy. Only two days left - The Crescat opened voting while I was out of town.

No

A proposal to build a $100 million mosque and community center two blocks from the World Trade Center site won unanimous approval from members of a downtown community-board committee last night.

"I like everything I've heard about this," said Ro Sheffe, chairman of Community Board 1's Financial District Committee.

The 13-story building would occupy the site of the former Burlington Coat Factory on Park Place. A vote by the full board will be held later this month.

The area around the World Trade Center in New York is, by far, commercial, with limited residential. This mosque is being proposed to issue a subtle statement from Islamic jihadists that they have won. If you think otherwise, you have a serious problem with nuance. The symbolism - a minaret tower rising over the ashes of souls killed in the name of Allah - is overwhelming.

I am a native New Yorker. And I am sickened by this.

NO MOSQUE!

Moving Violation

This occurs all too frequently in my area. Usually the violator's car is festooned with stickers of one of the following:

(a) Raider Nation

(b) Ed Hardy

(c) NOTW

(d) Obama/Biden

(e) Piolin

Speaking of such genius, The Crescat's contest is still underway. Have you remembered to vote for this blog as Most Bat Shit Crazy?