Right now it is late and I cannot sleep and so I figured the easiest way to get some stuff off my chest is to . . . well, use this goddamn blog for what I had intended it to be, a little self-help in the old psycho department, because I want to have my say and then, damn it, go to bed. Tell you what, Skippy, I'll even try to group what's on my mind so if you want to respond, you can use the headings as reference.
Birthdays. Birthdays count. No, really, they do, because they are inconvenient to anyone but the birthday guy/girl, and you have to remember the date, and maybe even put out a little effort to - or hell, I don't know - send an e-card if the trip to Target's card section is too much for you. Or at least make some statement on the Internet to show the birthday guy/gal that you want other people to know you care.
Now, why does the headache of birthdays count? Because animals do not celebrate birthdays. The fact that we take the time to sing "Happy Birthday," to create a list of certain gifts that correspond to certain wedding anniversaries, to lay a wreath on a grave, to buy some decent candy to hand out to costumed kids who ring the doorbell and yell, "Trick or treat!" - all of that inefficient, "life still goes on if skipped", inconvenient stuff is proof of the Divine spark in us. We follow these traditions to feed our spiritual selves, and not our carnal selves. We don't need a birthday cake to ensure survival of the species, because on a base level, that can be attained through eating and sex.
I thank all of my friends who made an effort to publicly acknowledge my birthday last Monday. What has got me hurt is the close friend who did not, and worse acknowledged it in advance in what I suspect was an email fueled by alcohol (that's the problem with close friends - you don't give them the benefit of the doubt because you know better), but not before inviting me to play second fiddle in an already planned event with other people whom I have never met, and dragging my kids into it because wouldn't it be fun for everyone? And who then, after I declined this invitation, completely ignored me on my birthday. Yeah, like I said, birthdays count and it's the actual day that means something - that's why Hallmark makes belated birthday cards that carry an apology. People are busy, that is understandable, and a gesture of "I am sorry I can't be with you on your day, but I want to get together to celebrate you, is next Tuesday good for you" is worlds better than "ooh, shit, I'm already booked, hey, maybe I can kill two birds with one stone, and if I spin it right, she'll buy into it because it makes me look caring and warm and just making sure all my friends are one big happy family!" Ah . . . no, it doesn't work that way.
Point is, no one likes to be let down by someone who they thought was both a good and close friend - it hurts. And that's keeping me awake. But I got that off my chest and a few tears shed while writing that has worked as therapy for years. On to the next.
Polarized People. Facebook is a strange creature. People "friend" you because you have someone in common whom you both know. Most of the time I don't care because I have learned how to use the "hide" button. I hide people or their activities. Sorry, I don't care about your games or who sent you a heart.
But back to these "friends of a friend" - I just removed such a "friend" after I saw this joke as his status:
What do an illegal alien and a cue ball have in common? If you whack them hard enough, eventually you'll get some English out of them.
I am for a strong border. I think people who enter the US illegally are . . . illegal. But, I do not like Arizona's new law because I think it has some flaws in the construction of its text and I think it was passed as a knee-jerk reaction to the death of a rancher. This is not to say I am unsympathetic to Arizona . . . hey, huero, I live in Santa Ana, which means I am one gapacha surrounded by Aztlan. I know damn well what it means to live among illegal aliens and have been a victim before of their criminal behavior.
But my rant regarding polarized people is not strictly about illegal immigration. It is about the inability to see nuance or gray area or "exceptions to the rule" about issues. And the utter castigation of those who might. I am a registered Republican who is living in circumstances that make me have the opinion that the present administration in the White House is the worst I have ever lived under. The worst! I look hard for a redeeming quality to Obama and have yet to find one . . . but I still keep looking.
However, I have had someone recently question my "credentials" as a conservative because I spoke against the Arizona law. Why? Because it seems to be an "all or nothing" world nowadays, where you must fit neatly at an opposite end. God knows I have been accused of being a homophobe because I do not support gay marriage (hey, Joe Ricci, you still trolling around here!), but I come out on the side of a lesbian teenager who just wanted to wear a tuxedo in her damn yearbook picture and I get, "Seems to me like she got what she deserved. If you don't like the gay agenda, then the school's reaction to it shouldn't piss you off." First of all, saying that she "got what she deserved" makes me wonder if the writer had a right yuk-fest when Matthew Shepherd died, because I remember being appalled at the number of peope I heard say that he "got what he deserved" when he was strung up on a country barbed wire fence and left to die from his injuries. Second, though, is the inability to see when something is a militant gay agenda and when something is not. No, it really isn't. And even if you wanted to say it is, it is small potatoes compared to fucking with a teen's psyche in her senior year. When people get so polarized, then their pettiness on stupid issues compromise their moral outrage on the larger ones.
And no, I would not hold back Holy Eucharist from someone who I know is gay or is an illegal alient. The grace of God in His Sacraments belong to all, and we are all sinners. Any prohibition against me doing so is for the Magisterum to decide, whether it is the Pope, Cardinal, Bishop or rank-and-file white collar black shirt who is instructing me. Which leads me to my next bone of contention . . .
Christian Fraternal Correction. A friend of mine shared with me some "stickiness" they got into because someone did not like their opinion. In fact, a person took what was a rather tame and innocent remark and alleged it was "threatening" (see Polarized People above, because hyperbole is a common strategy in their playbook). What got under me steamed was the whine of the aggrieved person that my friend should have approached them first in the spirit of "fraternal correction."
I have had this same thing leveled against me for my opinion that the Magnificat group is a bunch of whack jobs. See, the idea is that as fellow Christians, we should not offer an opinion if something offends us - no matter how friggin' public the source made it - but should "discuss" it with them first.
Discussion? To what end? I see this being used as a passive-aggressive technique in that they only want to invoke this when you disagree with them and publicly state so. And especially if your opinion might just have some truth to it that puts them in a bad light. Ultimately, the end they wish to see is for you to just STFU.
Folks, we can disagree with one another and we can offer our opinion when we think something is stupid, dangerous, useless, inane, or just plain bat shit crazy - hell, even use a profanity now and then! I seem to recall a point in the New Testament where Jesus did not "discuss" or call for fraternal correction with a bunch of moneylenders in the temple. Stop hiding your agenda behind your piety.
Which finally takes me to . . .
Being Offended. Being offended does not automatically equate to a lawsuit, Professor Mann. And others like you who are not being "discriminated" against - you're just offended.
Racism - there's a word. I read that same word today in the Orange County Regsiter when a Yankee fan - oy! - accused a guard at Angel Stadium of racism, suppsoedly because the guard demanded he "speak English" and flipped him the bird. Which the Yankee fan wisely caught on camera phone. The one-fingered salute, that is.
But racism? Oh, give me a break. How about jerkiness or nimrodism, and while it was probably offensive to the Yankee fan, it is not something he needs to call Mark Geragos on. And this goes for probably the majority of Gloria Allred's clients.
Somehow, people have gotten the notion that the Constitution guarantees us the right of freedom from being offended, and we cannot see what truly might be the type of insidious behavior that warrants protection of our civil rights. I am not saying that you cannot be offended. I am offended all the time. As one friend reminds me, they're making Sex in the City II, for God's sake! And Rosie O'Donnell hasn't shut up and the Lockerbie bomber is yet to find his internal body core at room temperature. But none of that can be cured by going to court and fortunately a lot of it can by not going to movie, making sure I never mistakenly tune to Radio Rosie on Sirius/XM, and by . . . well, I got better things to spend my money on than trying to get to Libya to assassinate an assassin. So I will live with being offended and deal with it at the level it deserves, and not at Defcon IV.
*Yawn!*
I am actually tired now. I have ranted and I have cried and now I can go sleep peacefully. Tomorrow I am going to Disneyland - yay! - with a close friend who is beating the shit out of her breast cancer - triple yay!
Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow . . .