Clarkson on Photography

I hate having my picture taken, which is precisely the reason why I choose to stay on the other side of the camera.

I cannot smile to order, and if I try, I always look frightened. And what’s more, I can let you into a little secret. The camera does bloody well lie. I know what I look like; I see myself in the mirror every morning. And yet in a picture, I look like me but with special needs.

However, I am a sadist and delight in finding the hidden psyche in people's faces with my own camera. Or at least getting them with a mouth full of food.

[M]odern photographers turn up with an army of people who have massive laptops. They operate a Danish computer program that means the subject can be manipulated to do pretty much anything and be pretty much anywhere. You give these guys a snap of Camilla Parker Bowles opening a church hall and they can have her pole-dancing in three minutes flat.

And I love Photoshop.