Celebrity TMI

I love celebrities because they make me feel good about my own life and feed my sophmoric sense of humor. Here are excerpts from some of their autobiographies (and why there is a crying need for ghostwriters in Hollywood):

Kenny Loggins - "The Unimaginable Life"

“I want to let your love open me like an envelope. I want to taste your breath. To drink you. To make love without birth control and scream together when we come (and not get pregnant) at least once a day.”

Vanna White - "Vanna Speaks"

“Sure, it’s not the most intellectually challenging job in the world—few jobs are. But it is hard work…Once, while turning the letters in the middle of a round, my belt broke and nearly fell off, but I held on to it and kept flipping those panels.”

Marilu Henner - "By All Means Keep On Moving"

“When it comes to sex, it doesn’t even matter if I feel fat or depressed. There’s always room for Jell-O. And that ‘head-ache’ excuse? Bogus…I’d much rather treat a headache with a bare ass than a Bayer aspirin, any day.”

George Hamilton - "Life's Little Pleasures"

“If you’re wandering the aisles of your local grocery store late some Satur-day night and you see the word ‘Tasty-kakes,’ go no further. Peanut Butter Kandy-Kakes, Chocolate Juniors, and Butterscotch Krimpets are true miracles. The packages even have an 800 number so you can have your Tasty-Kakes FedExed to your doorstep…I prefer to have mine with a nice, chilled bottle of very dry champagne—Moët & Chandon White Star if you’re alone, Dom Pérignon if you’re having a guest…”