Voodoo Statues

NewOrleans020, originally uploaded by Stephanie Richer.

I know SOMEONE will have a comment to make about this . . . Eddie, don't disappoint me . . .

Away With That Manger . . .

May the Force be with you this holiday season

Oh goody! The Crescat is hosting another contest, this time for the Tackiest Nativity Scene! Enter your submissions now!

Yahrzeit

Today is the first anniversary of my mother's death. Please remember her in your prayers.

She was a looker, no?

Holocaust Memorial

NewOrleans019, originally uploaded by Stephanie Richer.

In Woldenburg Park along the Mississippi River in New Orleans.

Patrick Stewart . . . Class

Worse, there were those who condoned the abuse. I heard police or ambulancemen, standing in our house, say, "She must have provoked him," or, "Mrs Stewart, it takes two to make a fight." They had no idea.

This is a very moving memoir of domestic violence by Patrick Stewart. Read it - you may well be moved to help someone you know is suffering from domestic violence.

Crashers

I have been out of town for a week and I just want to say this about the couple, the Sahalis, who slipped past the Secret Service and crashed Obama's first state dinner:

#1 - next time, bring Tupperware and a big purse. Grab the food and steal anything that is not nailed down. The White House is the people's house, after all!

#2 - the fact that the White House rboke the news story further convinces me that (a) they are a bunch of friggin' amateurs and (b) Obama is an absolute narcissist to announce he's an easy target.

Or maybe he's actually the one trying to get on a reality show . . .

Periodically, I Indulge in Some Cake

Some people have way too much time on their hands. No, I am not going to look up to see which element is missing as I am sure some geek[1] will tell me in comments. C'mon, will it be my brother-in-law or a priest in Utah?

[1] Said lovingly, of course.

Can't Say Swiss Without a Smile, Achmed

The Swiss have approved a ban on the construction of minarets, according to incomplete results of voting on Sunday.

The gfs.bern polling institute said an estimated 58 per cent of voters had backed the initiative. A majority of cantons were also in support of a minaret ban.

Supporters of a ban argued minarets are a symbol of an Islamic claim to power.

"The Islamic religion is intolerant, but we do not want to limit freedom of religion, we want to outlaw the political symbol," said Ulrich Schlüer, a member of the rightwing Swiss People's party and one of the leading promoters of the anti-minaret initiative.

Ah, the Swiss, especially the Schweizer Deustche. I lived among them for two yeras and people are always surpised to hear me speak of them as the real Nazis and the banking whores of the world. They are fastiduous in their timekeeping and maintenance of police dossiers on foreigners and citzens alike.

Having said that, however, given the actions of Muslims in other parts of Europe, I can't say I blame them. I would ask them to consider, though, that this might drive jihadist factions underground. I like to keep them out in the open, in the crosshairs, so to speak.

Lemme Take That Tiger By the Tail . . .

. . . and say I hope whatever is going on between Tiger Woods and the Missus will be resolved by them both. As for the media ghouls, back off.

And if he's having an affair with this Rachel Uchitel . . . dude, she's heading to Los Angeles to see Gloria Allread. If that doesn't tell you she's a gold digging bimbo, I don't know what else will.

Tomb

Tomb, originally uploaded by Stephanie Richer.

Tomb at St. Louis #1 Cemetery in New Orleans, Louisiana.

Elephant Fountain

Elephant Fountain, originally uploaded by Stephanie Richer.

Another iPhone shot, done with an application called "Old Camera." It is superb and provides a very interesting outlet for photography. This is the fountain at the Audubon Zoo in New Orleans, LA.

Harry's Corner

Harry's Corner, originally uploaded by Stephanie Richer.

A street corner in the French Quarter of New Orleans, LA.

On the Streetcar

On the Streetcar, originally uploaded by Stephanie Richer.

Looking out from the St. Charles streetcar in New Orleans, LA.

Reading on Plane

Reading on Plane, originally uploaded by Stephanie Richer.

My husband, flying back to Los Angeles, taken with my iPhone.

Comin' Home Tomorrow

It's been a long week in New Orleans and tomorrow night the DigiFamily is flying back to California. I have so many pictures to upload and process.

Today I went out for a meander through a relatively quiet French Quarter (it was a holiday, after all), and had fun with my iPhone, using an app called "Old Camera," which was handy to capture views of buildings dating back to the 1700's, like the Napoleon House above (built for the emperor but he died in exile before the Lafitte brothers could rescue him and bring him to La Nouvelle Orleans).

See y'all soon. Oh yeah, and the cuisine here has been fantastic!

Hello, Newburg . . .

Unfortunately, the courier service lost the two machines and the animal rights people had to look the other way as volunteers killed hundreds of lobster in boiling water for hungry supporters of the resource centre.

Simon Buckhaven is a British inventor who came up with a device that electrocutes lobsters as a humane way of killing them for our thermidors. Huh, Julia Child had a device for that - it was called a big-ass and sharp knife.

Anyway, it seems PETA wanted to help a non-profit in Tucson, AZ and bought two of these machines and flew Buckhaven and his wife on PETA's dime to demonstrate the technology at the fundraiser.

Except . . . Brown didn't do squat for them, so don't ask.

And they boiled the suckers all the same.

Ha ha!

Gone Fishin'

See y'all in about a week. While I may have Internet access, tomorrow the DigiFamily and I leave for The Big Easy for a Thanksgiving vacation, and I doubt I will be posting much.

Laissez les bon temps rouler, folks!

May everyone have a peaceful and happy Thanksgiving!

Don't Take the "A" Uptown

Yo, man, me?!?!

Female straphangers are most likely to be touched by slimy subway pervs on rides between Grand Central Terminal and East 14th Street-Union Square than anywhere else underground, NYPD statistics show.

Hey! There's a recession on! You see the price of hookers lately?

Actually, I think any guy trying this with a real female New Yorker runs the risk of an impromptu proctology exam in transit, as mst of the chickies I grew up with wouldn't take this crap.

Hit Me!

This is what a recession looks like at Southern California's tribal casinos: Nearly every seat at the 25-cent slot machines is filled. Gamblers wait three deep around the cheapest blackjack tables. The reels on the penny slot machines spin almost without interruption.

I dunno . . . maybe if times were hard I wouldn't go gambling. But I have never been a big fan of casinos, anway.

Okay, I get it - it's entertainment. During the Great Depression, people still flocked to movie theaters. I should be buying some stock, then, in Internet porn.

Obscure Music Friday

Song: Buttons and Bows

Artist: First done by Bob Hope and then as a duet with Jane Russell and Roy Rogers.

Why I Like It: I have become addicted to Radio Classics, a channel on Sirius XM radio that plays great old radio programs, including the old Bob Hope shows. Listening to a broadcast, however, of the Dinah Shore show, I heard this song and remembered it from a great Bob Hope movie, The Paleface, where he is serenading a sleepy - and drop dead beautiful - Jan Russell in a Conestoga. Enjoy!

Team FPR

On Facebook, I have created a fan page: Team FPR.

It is a place to lend support to my friend, Mariana - a family law attorney, devout Roman Catholic, rabid Dodgers fan, staunch Republican, proud Cubana, UCLA Bruin, equally rabid Steelers and Penguins fan, and loving daughter, mother, wife and friend - who has now begun her own fight against breast cancer.

It is not going to all squishy sentimental, although there may be verklempt moments. But hearts and "oh, you're so brave!" offerings . . . that's not Mariana's style. As an example, I've posted about our latest idea - if the hair gets lost to radiation, which she will have to have, then she's getting putting on the pink baseball hat, she's getting in that damn wheelchair, and we're going to Disneyland where we will get to straight to the head of the line on every friggin' ride! Lemonade, baby, lemonade!

You may not know Mariana, but if you're on facebook, come over and join the team. I got a discussion thread up to collect ribald and raunchy jokes, since laughter is good medicine, and am posting articles to keep people informed about breast cancer, because I know I am learning a lot.

Just do a search for Team FPR - the profile picture is the pink ribbon seen below with the slogan, "Hey cancer - eat shit and die!" Or click here.

Holidaze

“In a room full of men,” the designer said, her cousin announced that “her 19-year-old daughter was a virgin and she thought it was about time she lost her virginity.”

Great article about the sometimes horrors of when family gathers 'round the table at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

This year I am happy to spend Thanksgiving with three people whom I love the most - my husband and two children. We are off to New Orleans come Saturday for a week of relaxation and sightseeing. I don't know where we will eat our Thanksgiving dinner - one year we had it at a Cracker Barrel in Knoxville while traveling and it was one of our more delightful ones - but I do know it will not involve rude and/or insufferable relatives and guests.

I am afraid I caused us to be personae non grata at my husband's aunt's house one year when his cousin decided to voice her opinions on the stupidity of people who join the military and I, a US Army veteran, decided to take her on.

Dirty Harry Speaks

"It's just...everybody's so screwed up. It seems like our country's in kind of a morbid mood, because of the recession or whatever."

We're "becoming more juvenile as a nation," he said. "The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits."

Thus spake Zarathustra Clint in GQ.

Save Second Base

The recommendations, issued Monday by a federal advisory panel, reversed widely promoted guidelines and were intended to reduce overtreatment. The panel said the benefits of screening women in their 40s — saving one life for every 1,904 women screened for 10 years — were outweighed by the potential for unnecessary tests and treatment, and the accompanying anxiety. Women considered at high risk should continue to have early screening, the panel said.

My friend Mariana - aka the Liar, the Dude - was diagnosed this week with Stage 2 breast cancer and is now facing surgery, radiation, and chemo. She is 47. It was discovered in a routine mammogram. There is no incidence of breast cancer in her family.

The procedure is not pleasant, a mammogram, but it is not horrible, either. It takes less than 15 minutes, usually. Four shots are the norm - two of each breast from two different angles. It "wastes" about 90 minutes of your day, once a year.

If everything is well, about a week later you get a lovely letter saying so. In that week, I am not anxious over my results, largely because I perform a self-examination monthly so going into a mammogram with no noticeable lumps is hardly worrisome.

No, I see this as a cost-cutting measure with the government creating a "crisis" of "unnecessary tests and treatments" and needless anxiety where none exists.

“My patients tell me they can live with a little anxiety and distress but they can’t live with a little cancer,” said Dr. Carolyn Runowicz, director of the Neag Comprehensive Cancer Center at the University of Connecticut.

Exactly.

Squeeeee!

For 99 euros ($148.10) a night, you can eat hamster grain, run in a giant wheel and sleep in hay stacks in what is called the "Hamster Villa."

"To become a hamster, eat seeds, change our way of life...come out of our daily routine" Maud and Sebastien told Reuters TV.

You pay good money to be put in a people-sized Habitrail and live the rodential life?

Um . . . okay.

Who gets to play the gerbil?

F***in' Pink Ribbons!

I am very angry right now.

I have been waiting all day for a friend to go to the doctor for the results of a biopsy. Stupid git scheduled her for four-thirty - Jesus, you do not make someone wait that long for the results of a biopsy done on their breast!

Then when I didn't hear from my friend by 6:30, I feared the worst. She finally called me at 7:30.

Stage Two. Lumpectomy. Radiation. Chemo.

I told her she was not in this alone, and now I had to go and buy soft angora wool because I have to start knitting caps, and worst of all, "now I have to wear a f***in' pink ribbon!!"

She laughed and laughed at that one.

Please keep my friend in your prayers. And wear a pink ribbon with attitude - a F***in' Pink Ribbon. Because cancer sucks and if you have to face it, better to stare it down until it bleeds and dies and goes away.

Ayuda

Unemployment has hit migrant communities in the United States so hard that a startling new phenomenon has been detected: instead of receiving remittances from relatives in the richest country on earth, some down-and-out Mexican families are scraping together what they can to support their unemployed loved ones in the United States.

I know a number of Mexican families who are decent and hard-working folks. I don't particularly care about their immigration status, not when they live only to lead productive lives and make a good home for their families. This story struck home with me because it shows you the power of family - everyone helps each other.

It occurred to me the other day that if something were to happen to me and my husband, we have no parents to look to. Be grateful.

RIP, Edward Woodward

I have heard that most deaths occur in November, and am saddened to hear about this actor's death. On the other hand, I bet my Ma is lined up to greet him on the othe side, since she adored "The equalizer" and thought the show absolutely rawked.

And it did. Cause he did.

Metaphor

Obscure Music Friday

Song: Frederick

Artist: Patti Smith

Why I Like This Song: in the late 70's, early 80's I was a big Patti fan and loved the old skool head-banging, anarchist punk. She was the Queen.

But this is a sweet song that she wrote for her husband, Fred "Sonic" Smith. They had two children and he died young, sadly, of a heart attack. This week, Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor lost her husband to Alzheimers - he was the reason she retired from the Court, to care for him.

See Ya

Blogging light, if not completely off this week, as I am in mediation training.

Behave while I'm gone.

Happy Birthday, USMC!

Semper Fi!

Today, on November 10, 1775 (note: one year before the country was founded), at Tun's Tavern in Philadelphia, the Corps was born.

This veteran of the US Army salutes you all on your birthday!

Boon-Friggin'-Doggle!!!

The city of romance got a lesson in love’s hard knocks Sunday, as thousands flocked to the French capital’s first divorce fair.

The “New Start” trade fair aimed to tap into that booming market by bringing together 60 stands offering up both services obviously related to separation — law firms and counselors — and also more obscure disciplines aimed at helping people get back on their feet, like tarot card readers, makeover specialists and self-esteem coaches.

A divorce fair in Paris! Clearly, for professional reasons, I must attend next year. Now, it will be a business trip - again, purely for professional reasons - and so it will be a writeoff. Boondoggle!

Actually, this is a damn good business idea. Better that people, if they are going to get divorced, get educated first and especially before falling into the hands of some of the shysters I know.

Maybe He Said the Secret Word*

Caroline and Steve Cartwright's love making was described as ''murder'' and ''unnatural'' and drowned out their neighbours' televisions.

Now Mrs Cartwright is appealing a conviction by magistrates for breaching a noise abatement notice that banned the couple from ''shouting, screaming or vocalisation at such a level as to be a statutory nuisance''.

I have never heard any complaints from the neighbors about the yodeling. In fact, they have complimented me on the "alpine" atmosphere it gives the neighborhood. I know!

*Cultural reference to one of my favorite Saturday morning TV shows in the 80's.

Dhimmi a Break, for Crying Out Loud . . .

But two years later, when Mr. Akgun was deployed to Iraq with the 26th Marine Expeditionary Unit, the thought of confronting Muslims in battle gave him pause.

He was haunted by the possibility that he might end up killing innocent civilians.

“It’s kind of like the Civil War, where brothers fought each other across the Mason-Dixon line,” Mr. Akgun, 28, of Lindenhurst, N.Y., who returned from Iraq without ever pulling the trigger. “I don’t want to stain my faith, I don’t want to stain my fellow Muslims, and I also don’t want to stain my country’s flag.”

But if we were at war with South Korea, then it's okay, because they're not Muslims?

Marine, listen up. No fighting man or woman should relish going to war. It is the last resort and it is hell. And they should feel remorse at the possibility that innocent people - of any race, creed, ethnicity, or faith - may become casualties.

I do not understand this notion that we should feel sorry for Muslims serving in the Armed Forces because they may have to "kill one of their own." Their own are their fellow Americans. We have had a volunteer military for some time and our primary areas of engagement have been in the Middle East since Bush, Sr. If the thought if having to kill someone - anyone! - bothers you, don't enlist.

It Was 20 Years Ago Today

I was on the TGV, barreling through the French countryside from Paris to Neuchatel, Switzerland, while on business. My colleague was dozing and I happened to glance at the newspaper headlines on the paper being read by the man across the aisle.

Tombé.

I shook my colleague awake.

"Todor, wake up!"

"What?"

"The Berlin Wall! They tore it down!"

Where were you?

Today, a prayer in memory of that great American, Ronald Reagan. Thank you, Mr. President.

Calling Home

U.S. intelligence agencies were aware months ago that Army Major Nidal Hasan was attempting to make contact with people associated with al Qaeda, two American officials briefed on classified material in the case told ABC News.

You know, if I were a gay person in the military, with the present "don't ask, don't tell" policy, I would be pissed as hell to read this. Because if I went to a gay bar, that information would not go unnoticed and I would find my commission yanked for conduct "unbecoming to an officer and a gentleman."

But attempt to contact a major international terrorist organization? Hell, let's promote him to major!

Tease

Plus ça change . . .

Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan came into the Starz strip club not far from the base at least three times in the past month, the club's general manager, Matthew Jones, told FoxNews.com. Army investigators building their case against Hasan plan to interview Jones soon.

"The last time he was here, I remember checking his military ID at the door, and he paid his $15 cover and stayed for six or seven hours," Jones, 37, said.

Wait a minute. This sounds familiar . . .

After returning to the US for the fifth time, 9/11 hijacker Ziad Jarrah flies immediately to Jacksonville, Florida, where he stays at the Ramada Inn for a week. He had previously visited Jacksonville (see January 22-26, 2001), as had Mohamed Atta and Marwan Alshehhi. While in Jacksonville, he frequents Wacko’s strip club. A worker there will later say that the FBI comes to the club after 9/11 to ask questions and show pictures “of the 9/11 terrorists,” and a dancer recognizes Jarrah from a photo line-up.

I guess it's a warm-up for the 72 virgins.

God Bless George and Laura

The Bushes instructed the commander of the mourning military base that they wanted no publicity. With their Secret Service detail, Bush and his wife made the 30 mile trip unannounced from their ranch near Crawford, Texas Friday evening.

Other sources said the former first couple spent about two hours meeting with the wounded, family and soldiers, talking quietly and at times hugging them as they did in private at other times of crisis such as post-9/11.

And "President" Obama has done what for the victims at Fort hood, except to tell us not to "jump to conclusions" about the shooter?

Now he and the Klingon War Bride are scheduled to go to Texas on Tuesday, per the White House's announcement today.

Watch Out, Rosie . . .

. . . you're not the only unfunny lesbian in town.

The Wanda Sykes Show is awkward: self-conscious and constrained.

A lot of pro-Obama jokes followed, which fit the definition of the cliche, “preaching to the choir”: her studio audience clapped dutifully at every slap at targets like Rush Limbaugh and George W. Bush, but they didn’t really laugh very hard. Sykes also made the mistake that The Jay Leno Show does too frequently: illustrating punchlines with big pictures behind the comedian. That’s just beating an already-dead horse.

Speaking of horse cliches, Sykes did an out-of-the-studio sketch about buying environmentally-sound sex-toys. Sykes invented a “solar-powered vibrator” and “reuseable condoms,” saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him use a reuseable condom.”

Why, oh why can't they all be nice and funny and attractive like Ellen and Portia? I know!

By the way, the horse joke? I don't get it . . .

Always Check Your Kid's Homework

How come all the customers are men?

Where Ya Registered? Jiffy Lube?

Vidala claims the woman, whom he declined to identify, mentioned four times that she had married her partner. He said he then left the store briefly to visit the airport's chapel before returning.

"I found it offensive that she repeatedly brought it up," Vidala said. "By the fourth time she mentioned it, I felt God wanted me to express how I felt about the matter, so I did. But my tone was downright apologetic. I said, 'Regarding your homosexuality, I think that's bad stuff.'"

The woman, according to Vidala, then said, "Human resources, buddy — keep your opinions to yourself," before exiting the store.

See, now, I would have said something like, "Really? Huh . . . . so who was the husband on the wedding night?"

This is why I need my own business. Because I can't play well with others.

Word is the manager knew Vidala wasa devout Christian and I am willing to bet she was intentionally bringing it up as a means of goading him. Stupid bitch.

Puuuuuuhraise the Lawd!

Thank you to The Crescat.

What's a Bill Without Some Spending?

But wait, there's more . . .

Sec. 399V (p. 1422) provides for grants to community "entities" with no required qualifications except having "documented community activity and experience with community healthcare workers" to "educate, guide, and provide experiential learning opportunities" aimed at drug abuse, poor nutrition, smoking and obesity.

ACORN is now getting into the health business. Will this cover Scientologists' "e-meter" readings and "auric cleansings?" If I go and buy a "healing crystal" at one of them psychic faires, do I get some gummint money?

"Experiential learning opportunities." Oops, that one died, let's not do that again.

Secs. 2521 and 2533 (pp. 1379 and 1437) establishes racial and ethnic preferences in awarding grants for training nurses and creating secondary-school health science programs.

Because it matters to me what race the ER tech is as I crash in a code blue on the gurney. It really does.

Health Care Ills

I am reading a fascinating analysis of the new health care bill by the Wall Street Journal:

Sec. 202 (p. 91-92) of the bill requires you to enroll in a "qualified plan."

Sec. 224 (p. 118) provides that 18 months after the bill becomes law, the Secretary of Health and Human Services will decide what a "qualified plan" covers and how much you'll be legally required to pay for it. That's like a banker telling you to sign the loan agreement now, then filling in the interest rate and repayment terms 18 months later.

Sec. 303 (pp. 167-168) makes it clear that, although the "qualified plan" is not yet designed, it will be of the "one size fits all" variety. The bill claims to offer choice—basic, enhanced and premium levels—but the benefits are the same. Only the co-pays and deductibles differ. You will have to enroll in the same plan, whether the government is paying for it or you and your employer are footing the bill.

Sec. 59b (pp. 297-299) says that when you file your taxes, you must include proof that you are in a qualified plan. If not, you will be fined thousands of dollars.

Anyone else feeling a tad queasy at all of this?

Sealed With a KISS

Who knew that KISS was so loyal to our troops?

Who knew that Gene Simmons speaks Hungarian?

God bless that all-American band, KISS!

Anything With a Clip From "Freaks" is . . . Freaky

When I was a kid, I watched waaaa-aaaa-aaay too much TV.

Now it's YouTube.

The Chuckwagon is Closed

Michael Jackson's father wants the late singer's estate to help him cover living expenses that exceed $20,000 a month, according to court papers filed Friday.

"He does not have a regular or steady source of income, and he was dependent upon the money provided by his son, Michael Jackson, through his wife, Katherine Jackson, for his support," attorney Brian Oxman wrote.

The singer, who died June 25, was close to his mother but had a rocky relationship with his father, whom he accused of hitting him and his brothers as children.

Maybe he can call up his buddies Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, with whom he so proudly posed for photographers, when his son meal ticket died. I don't care how old this guy is - he lists as his expenses $1500 for rent but $5000 for hotels and airfare? So a fourth of his monthly expenses is spent on travel - I bet a lot of seniors sitting at Denny's would like to have that lifestyle.

Song for an Early Saturday Morning

It does not take much to amuse me.

Blame Scientists for Zombies

This shows how Everything Goes to Hell During a Zombie Apocalypse.

I know, Krautman, I know. You'd live because you wouldn't make the stupid mistakes other survivors make . . .

Warning Signs

They have grand rounds, right? They, you know, dozens of medical staff come into an auditorium, and somebody stands at the podium at the front and gives a lecture about some academic issue, you know, what drugs to prescribe for what condition. But instead of that, he - Hasan apparently gave a long lecture on the Koran and talked about how if you don't believe, you are condemned to hell. Your head is cut off. You're set on fire. Burning oil is burned down your throat.

Helloooooooo . . . .?

What Are Words For?

Is it fair to say that Catholics evangelize, Mormons proselytize, and Muslims recruit?

God Loves Ya, Joe Torre

I would always cheer, "God loves ya, Joe Torre!" when I went to Yankees game and he was still their manager. I have always thought Joe Torre to be nothing but a gentleman. I have an even greater amount of respect for him after reading this:

But he's still also little Joey in so many ways, a witness to domestic abuse in his own home, and the shame and embarrassment that come from believing only his family had such ugly problems.

Ali & Joe are a team now, combining their efforts to end the cycle of abuse and doing so with Safe at Home, a foundation designed to focus on the education of children.

Maybe surprisingly short on self-esteem, honesty comes easily to Torre, telling his story so maybe someone else's life might take a turn.

"We can make a difference," he says.

God loves ya, indeed, Joe Torre!

"Outlandish Comments"

Major. Hasan at a conference six months ago expressed happiness at the shooting at the recruitment center in Little Rock and said that Muslims had to "fight against the aggressors" - meaning Americans.

Obscure Music Friday

Song: New York State of Mind

Artist: Billy Joel

Why This Song is Here Today: Because today the World Series champions - The NewYork Yankees - are having a ticker tape parade. Maybe the song is not that obscure, but this time of year I wish I was back in my hometown.

Guy Fawkes Celebration Redone

Mark and I decided the children needed to learn some history and celebrate a lesser-known holiday.

Guy Fawkes Day was designed originally to be anti-Catholic in nature . . . so we decided to turn it around and instead of burning Guy Fawkes in effigy, we chose to burn a picture of Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood.

That's Patrick, doing the honors of tossing old Margie into the fire.

No penny for the Old Girl. Might even be hotter where she is now.

Bull

The man suspected of a deadly rampage Thursday at Fort Hood was a military psychiatrist whose had turned against the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan but was about to be sent overseas, his cousin told Fox News.

So you demonstrate your conscientious objector status by taking a dozen out with you?

I think something else was motivating him.

Pimp the Crescat!

Guys, listen to me.

I hear tales o' woe all the time from my male clients (if you're just tuning in, I am a Family Law attorney) about how the soon-to-be-exes are simply not the women they married. When I ask, "Well, what did you expect?" they tell me and then I point out to them that no, she has always been the same, but he was too damned smitten to see the truth.

Oh yeah, I got me a very refined bullshit-o-meter and can usually discern a person's character pretty damned well. That - and knowing all about marriages - makes me qualified to act as a matchmaker.

And are you looking for that right girl?

What if I told you I know a gal. In North Carolina, so you know she's a Southern lady. Young. Pretty. catholic. Pretty. Smart. Pretty. Hard-working. Pretty. Dark-haired and dark-eyed. Pretty. Studying to be a nurse, which means excellent income potential. Pretty.

Single parent, but based upon her stories, the Boy seems alright - as one of her blog posts said, "it will only take five minutes for your son to discover your new $85 Littman stethoscope and stick the ear pieces up his nose and then try and convince the boy next door to use it to listen to each others farts amplified." Ya gotta love a kid like that.

"Sure," you are saying. "Next you're going to tell me she has 'such a nice personality.'"

Go see for yourself.

And . . she has no shame!

Pray for the Ft. Hood Soldiers

May their souls be escorted by Archangel Michael and St. Joan of Arc to their heavenly rest.

I cannot tell from the various reports whether it was one soldier or more who opened fire. A gunman, if not the sole one, was Maj. Nidal Hasan, a psychiatrist. For some reason, the Senator from Texas, Kay Hutchinson, said he was "upset" about heading off on his first deployment to Iraq, but I don't know how she knows.

Remember the Old Guy

Today is Guy Fawkes Day in England, a curious remnant of anti-Catholicism left over from the 71th century.

Guy Fawkes Night commemorates the Gunpowder Plot of 1605, when Roman Catholic (or "Popish," to use a less obliging term) insurgents were caught planning the obliteration of the House of Commons. Fawkes and his fellow conspirators met a sticky end--17th century justice was not noted for its mercy--and the gruesomeness of those days was reflected in the way British children would mark the approach of Guy Fawkes Night.

They created effigies of Fawkes, trailing them through the streets, collecting money. They would later hurl these effigies into the bonfires lit up and down the kingdom. As the figures hit the roaring flames, cheers would rise from the onlookers. Burn in hell, Fawkes. A plague on your house. That'll teach you.

One now rarely sees children trundling a Guy through the streets. The practice seems to have gone out of fashion.

But there are surely other forces at work here. The idea of defending Parliament seems odd, given the recent scandals that have hit Westminster.

Well, many Guy Fawkes Day celebration - if even held (because, you know, lighting a bonfire leaves a terrible carbon footprint) - have turned into political satire, with effigies of politicians burned at the stake. Not here, though - anyone who would be caught doing that for Obama would be labeled a racist. Gotta be careful of those hate crimes, you know.

So, here's a lovely clip from the Fr. Ted series celebrating racism tongue-in-cheek. In the meantime, I'll go get my bonfire ready.

Thank You, Boys!

Number 27 . . . number 1 in the Bronx!

Public Stocks Redux

Fifty-six-year-old Evelyn Border and 35-year-old Tina Griekspoor stood outside the court for 4 1/2 hours Tuesday. They held signs that read: “I stole from a 9-year-old girl on her birthday! Don’t steal or this could happen to you!”

The 9-year-old had placed her gift card on a shelf in Wal-Mart as a clerk helped her, when these two nimrods swiped it.

Before someone has a fit about "personal dignity," these two agreed to do this in exchange for jail time. So in my opinion, they are fair game for someone to drive by with a taunt or two.

No eggs. That's just wasting food. And it's battery.

Esssssss Uuuuu-uuun Perdador . . .

It’s unclear which White House staffer thought it would be a good idea to have an ABC show called “The Biggest Loser” visit the White House in an episode that aired on what was shaping up to be a tough election night for President Obama and the Democratic party, but the contestants stopped by 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Tuesday night as election returns came in.

The gang then went into the kitchen and made a big salad.

Now that's funny!

Amateurs.

Cats Lose at the Polls

Voters last night added language to a town bylaw that will make it illegal to own more than three cats without a kennel license, though Selectman Steven Sullivan said housing three felines was already a violation.

Sure, no one cares about the lonely single women! Mr. Whiskers, Muffy, Swayze, Princess Snowfluff, Tiddybear and I are very, very upset by this! Aren't we, Mr. Whiskers?

On the other hand, this makes sense, because if you have three or more, aren't you ranching and doesn't every business need to be licensed?

Who's Dying Now?

A study in California shows that about a quarter of the people hospitalized for H1N1 complications were morbidly obese, even though less than 5% of the population falls into that category.

"It makes intuitive sense," said Dr. Thomas R. Frieden, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, who noted that obese people have a higher risk of many diseases and thus a lower life expectancy.

It's called selection, folks. Lifestyles have consequences.

Hey, where are the smokers in this?

Straight On, Maine!

Opponents of Maine's law allowing same-sex marriage claimed victory Tuesday night in their repeal effort, after a heated campaign that polarized the state and drew national attention.

"This has never been about gay rights," he said. "It's about marriage, and this is reaffirmation by the people of Maine that marriage between men and women is special and unique."

Maybe they can call it "garriage?" But this sums up the motivation behind opponents of gay marriage: it's about the heterosexuals, stupid. Why is it that a liberal can embrace a law that favors a select group they like, but cannot abide when a group they don't asks for protection?

Tabloid Idiocy

What a friggin' loser.

This guy is credible? What a moron.

Still Waiting . . .

The health of the Lockerbie bomber has "not deteriorated" since his release from prison three months ago – despite doctors' assessments that he would have died by now, a senior source has told The Sunday Telegraph.

Megrahi, who is suffering terminal prostate cancer, was sent home to Libya to die after medical experts concluded in a report on July 30 he had just three months left to live. The time span was crucial because only prisoners with three months or less to survive are eligible for release on compassionate grounds.

Within three weeks of the medical examination by Professor Karol Sikora, one of Britain's leading cancer specialists, Megrahi was put on a plane and sent home to Tripoli to die.

Prof Sikora, who is the medical director of CancerPartnersUK in London, was one of three doctors who visited Megrahi in jail on July 28.

He was paid a one-day consultancy fee by the Libyan government to draw up a report delivered two days later.

But Prof Sikora admitted that the Libyans had encouraged him to conclude that Megrahi had just three months to live following his examination.

Reminds me of the Monty Python skit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail - "I'm not dead yet. Think I'll go for a walk."

Except, I'm not laughing.

Radio Waves

Rosie O'Donnell returns to the media today, but in quite a step down the media ladder from national TV prominence -- with a daily two-hour show on XM and Sirius satellite radio she'll host from her Nyack, New York home. “Rosie Radio is a radio show that is compelling, intriguing, unpredictable, and thought-provoking,” the radio service proclaims of the program . . ."

The good news about this is no visual. But "unpredictable?" - you can expect original (*snerk*) material like this:

“But the fact of the matter is, the world stood up in unison and gratitude and said, thank you, perhaps the beacon of light and hope that America has been for 200 years is once again lit. It was diminished criminally by the last administration.”

BDS still lives!

My friend, the irascible Fr. Moneypenny, and I both have satellite radio, and he has turned me on to a channel, to which I am now hooked. Channel 118 has Radio Classics - The Jack Benny Show, The Shadow, Suspense, etc. These are radio shows spanning the 30's to the 60's and during a commute to court in the Inland Empire, they work well to keep me amused. In fact, if I am going to court in Riverside, based on my usual departure time, I can count on an entire episode of Jack Webb in Dragnet.

It's also interesting to hear the attitude of the stars of that time, especially for the war bond commercials of WWII. James Cagney saying, "A lasting peace is a strong peace" did my sou;l well.

Now, that's entertainment!

Catholics Come Home

I saw these great commercials on YouTube and think they are awesome!

Do the Math

The Center for Disease Control just released a report that states that abortion killed at least 203,991 Black children in 36 states, Washington D.C., and New York City in 2005. That does not include the states of Florida, Illinois, and California.

Contrast this to a report issued by the Tuskegee Institute in which it found that between 1882 and 1968, 3,446 Blacks were lynched in the United States.

Christmas Catalogs: Scientolowackos!

I didn't know that there is a Scientology Holiday Catalog! I love all the useless catalogs that come this time of year for your holiday shopping.

No, I did not actually receive a Scientology catalog, but I saw it and thought, "Wow, I know some people who would just lurve their own Hubbard Mark Super VII Quantum E-Meter!" I mean, there are some people who are still only using the Hubbard Mark Super IV Quantum E-Meter - huh, that's so last year!

And at $4,650, it's a steal! Literally!

A Soul Saved From Planned Parenthood

The leader of Planned Parenthood in College Station, Texas left her post after watching the ultrasound of an abortion procedure. Abby Johnson told reporters that Planned Parenthood changed it’s business model from one that pushed prevention, to one that focused on abortion.

So Planned Parenthood slapped her with a restraining order.

I ask you to recall yesterday's Gospel:

Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you falsely because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.

“I feel so pure in heart (since leaving). I don’t have this guilt, I don’t have this burden on me anymore that’s how I know this conversion was a spiritual conversion.”

Abby, sweetheart, the souls of those aborted babies rejoice in your conversion and pray for you to have strength and courage.

Never Forget

The bow of the $1 billion ship, built in Louisiana, contains about 7.5 tons of steel from the fallen towers.

"We have to remember. It's a way to honor them," she said.

Sail on with pride, USS New York!

Happy Birthday, Josie!

My doggie is 2 years old today.

Sorry, but if it's not a Pembroke Welsh Corgi . . . it's just a dog.

Post-Holiday Fatigue

Big weekend, now I need a week to recover.

Onward . . . to Thanksgiving!

Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet

No, not an actual adult from Floral Park - but thanks to an old high school buddy who let me use her Halloween picture for this post. It does fit the topic nicely.

Except this time the trick was on the kids.

Last night was a shocker - I estimate that less than 100 kids came trick-or-treating. At least on my street.

And why should they? A view down Riverisde Drive showed a long line of dark, dark houses - no porch lights on, no beacon for a child to know that a lollipop or a Snickers bar was in the offering. Which, on Halloween night, is basically tantamount to saying, fuck off, you little bastards.

I looked at one house that was dark, where the family raised six kids - what, when they were young, they came trooping by for their treats (I know - every Halloween since I moved here in 1995 I have handed out candy) but now that they're older and grown, the parents cannot do the same for the other children of the neighborhood? Or is it a way of blowing off the other children of the other neighborhoods of Santa Ana. You know, the little brown ones living in apartments along Bristol?

I heard of a good trick this morning - require both parents to escort their young'uns through the street so no one is left at home to hand out candy. I did not realize my neighborhood was that dangerous to warrant such protection. Oh wait, it's not - hence why my daughter and her friend went off by themselves and arrived home safely 'round nine o'clock. I guess other girls are just not that trustworthy, and lack the common sense to avoid whatever trouble may occur.

The crazy liberal lady down the block had her usual "Halloween haunt" in her front yard, with digs at Conservatives and Republicans . . . but at least she had it and was welcoming trick-or-treates. Mind you, despite what people may think about Orange County, my neighborhood is chock full o'liberals. And here I thought they believe in hand outs!

My neighbors across the street were dark, for a reason - their teen daughter was diagnosed yesterday with H1N1 flu . . . so the husband brought the candy they were going to give out to me, so I could distribute it and the kids would not be cheated. Please keep Evania B. and her family in your prayers - today is her sweet sixteen and what a miserable way to spend it, in bed and sick.

My daughter reports that other streets had a few more homes with the porch light on, handing out treats. Good - I hope that was the case throughout Floral Park. But it still seems to me that whereas once kids from around Santa Ana descended on my neighborhood to revel in Halloween, they no longer because too many adults have adopted an apathy toward keeping a tradition alive.

Oh, not that trick-or-treating is dead in Floral Park! The local mother's group hosts a Halloween party for the kids, complete with trick-or-treating . . . a week before Halloween.

So why bother with October 31st?

You know what's needed? A good, old-fashioned "egging and shaving cream" attack . . . let's revive THAT custom for these people!