The DigiBook Club: Science!

Digital List Price:
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Remarkably, there are no customer reviews on Amazon - be the first!

Penthouse Letter

Larry Flynt, pornographer, offers this advice to POTUS:

You have failed to keep many campaign promises. You’ve ignored civil-liberty violations such as warrantless wiretapping. You passed a stimulus package that is obviously full of pork for Democrats. You handed over billions more in taxpayer dollars to crooked bankers. You listened to the very people who created our economic meltdown, the Mutt and Jeff team of Larry Summers and Tim Geithner. You’ve let the insurance lobbyists hijack health-care reform to the detriment of every man, woman, and child in America.

As Gentle As a Summer's Eve . . . in the Jersey Meadowlands

WTH?

From the looks of the advertisement, I would say this comes from the early to mid-50's. The copy is incredible, though:

One most effective way to safeguard her dainty feminine allure is by praticing complete feminine hygiene as provided by vaginal douches with a scientifically correct preparation like "Lysol."

I could just imagine couples in these times coming up with jokes like, "Honey . . . wanna go camping?" or "What do my wife and the Christmas tree have in common? Bushy and pine-scented," or a man coming home from work, sniffing the air, and asking, "You or the kitchen floor?"

Lysol?!?!

BTW, to really get the job done . . . KABOOM!

Forget the Bath Water, Just Toss the Baby

And some Protestant and evangelical Christians like to criticize Catholic for infant Baptism . . .

Rights activists lashed out Friday at local officials who allowed hundreds of infants to be dropped from the roof of a mosque in western India in the belief that the fall — which ends when the babies are caught in a bedsheet — would ensure good health and prosperity for their families.

The ritual at the Baba Umer Durga, a Muslim shrine, is believed to have been followed for nearly 700 years, and each year hundreds of people, both Hindus and Muslims, take part in the ritual.

You know, I try to embrace multi-culturalism right there along with the next guy. But I have a tough time.

I just hope that before the festivities start, they do a "test drop" with one of the imans at the mosque.

Maybe Joe Was Meant to Be the Entertainment

Please tell me that he at least told them to take off their jackets. Because there is nothing like being dragged outside in a DC summer in a dark suit for a photo op.

Gates and Crowley, dressed in dark suits, had Sam Adams Light and Blue Moon, respectively, while Obama, in rolled-up shirt sleeves, had a Bud Light. Biden joined them for a non-alcoholic Buckler beer.

They also munched on peanuts and pretzels served in small silver bowls as the media snapped photos.

I like the way the media is applauding Obama, saying, "Isn't this great? Three guys meeting over some beers and munchies to talk things out, just like regular people! That Obama, he is so in touch with the common man!"

This isn't a "bring the people together." This is "please forget I said something stupid." And by tryiong to do the latter, he's made himself look even more stupid.

Obscure Music Friday

Click on image above to see video

Song: Float On

Artist: Modest Mouse

Why I Like It: It is upbeat and reassuring. And it will be tied to a new friend, who became my friend through another friend, and I was thought I had a friend through this other friend, but they weren't really a friend, and now I realize it's because that person was never really a friend with the other friend, but just someone he has to put up with. If that makes any sense.

Anyway, this song is chosen today in the hopes it will bring good luck for my friend who is waiting on some important test results today.

Costume at Comic Con

Lucas should take note . . .

Self-Inflicted Genocide

China performs about 13 million abortions every year, mostly for single young women who experts say know little about contraception, state media said Thursday in a rare disclosure of sensitive family planning statistics.

The China Daily newspaper said the real number of abortions is believed to be even higher since the 13 million accounts for procedures in hospitals but many more are known to be carried out in unregistered rural clinics. Also, about 10 million abortion pills are sold every year in China, the paper said.

Abortion as contraception - how more disposable can we become?

Pray for China.

This ain't rock-n-roll! This is genocide! -- David Bowie, "Diamond Dogs"

Have They Checked eBay?

I live in California; thus, I am allowed to be obsessed with this.

More than a month after Michael Jackson’s sudden death, the whereabouts of his body remain unclear.

The King of Pop's gold-plated, rose-covered casket was last seen at his public memorial service on July 7 at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. After the service, it was driven away to parts unknown.

Berry Gordy is now saying that the body is not in a crypt owned by him.

I'll say it again - the family is holding out for an encore. When interest starts to flag - or they get the necessary permit for burial at Neverland - or they want more money - Michael (or what is left of him) will emerge and the media will have another frenzy and more teddy bears and candles will appear and now we get to see "Michael: the Burial."

I'm telling you . . . Neverland . . . glass casket . . . gift shop . . .

It May Take While, But Then . . .

I am sorry. I may have to go to Confession for posting this, but this is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. And the look on her face is priceless.

(I've decided not to embed the video - you have to click here to see it. It is slightly NSFW, but because you may have to explain it to someone.)

C'mon, I've seen worse on The Discovery Channel!

"Misery" Redux

The hot-blooded wife who allegedly poured boiling water on her sleeping hubby's genitals was so jealous that she once forced him to quit a $140,000-a- year job because she thought he was having affairs with his co-workers.

Emmanuel Ojofeitimi, 67, who lay in pain in a Long Island hospital bed yesterday, said that although he strayed some 15 years ago, he's been faithful since.

"She kept nagging and nagging me all the time," said Ojofeitimi of wife Oyinda, 67, a nurse at a Queens school.

You have to wonder what she did 15 years ago to keep him in line . . .

Isolation Ward

A Superior Court judge ruled Tuesday that there is legal justification to keep the Central Men’s Jail under medical quarantine – at least for a couple of days – to control a swine flu outbreak.

Judge Thomas Goethals said the “significant medical public health event” in the men’s jail is good cause to temporarily suspend constitutional guarantees to speedy trials, preliminary hearings and arraignments for some criminal case defendants.

And might just solve that pesky problem of prison overcrowding!

Driving in Irvine

Okay, I don't know if this happened in Irvine, CA - but it could have. Anytime I head south of the 55 Freeway into that land called "South Orange County" - where yuppies roam the fields and drive the streets - I grip the steering wheel a little more tightly.

There is nothing more annoying than a very large SUV - with either a soccer or water polo league sticker on the back window and the homeowners sticker for some gated community on the front window - being driven by blond-goddess-cheap-cosmetic-surgery-but-fairly-expensive-weave-spa-hopping-nonfat-latte-sipping-il-divo-listening-too-stupid-for-NPR-but-thinks-she's-green-by-using-her-own-bag-at-Trader-Joes'-got-fifteen-bottles-of-body-wash-in-her-shower-husband-hasn't-seen-sex-in-decades-but-the-pool-boy-has-carrying-the-outlet-mall-Coach-bag-always-has-that-one-Cosmo-too-many-sits-on-PTA-with-her-girlfriends-and-flirts-with-her-son's-Math-tutor-and-thinks-she-looks-good-in-her-daughter's-clothes suburban Mom!

The cop starts writing first one citation then another and another as the woman continues her demands on the phone . Finally the cop attempts once , twice , three times to get the woman's attention . "Can't you see I'm on the phone !" she shouts at the cop . "M'am if you do not hang up the phone now I will be forced to take action " says the cop . That did it . He then asked her to sign the citations for reckless driving , failure to wear a seat belt and talking on the phone while in control of a moving vehicle with out a hands free device (a recent and confusing law here ) . She of course starts screaming at the cop . "I'm not going to sign anything without my lawyer present" she says . In a near whisper the cop says to me as he walks toward the woman "just what I've been waiting for" .

Confucius Say: Ironic

WHEN British consumers are compelled to buy energy-efficient lightbulbs from 2012, they will save up to 5m tons of carbon dioxide a year from being pumped into the atmosphere. In China, however, a heavy environmental price is being paid for the production of “green” lightbulbs in cost-cutting factories.

Large numbers of Chinese workers have been poisoned by mercury, which forms part of the compact fluorescent lightbulbs. A surge in foreign demand, set off by a European Union directive making these bulbs compulsory within three years, has also led to the reopening of mercury mines that have ruined the environment.

In short, everytime Al Gore speaks, another Chinaman dies.

Which will undermine Communism.

Okay, maybe he does deserve the Nobel Peace Prize, in a perverse sort of way . . .

Role Models

As you all know, you can't kill a 'toon, but that doesn't mean he can't get ADA protection.

The King is Dead, Long Live the Jester

Funny, funny, funny.

At the last election, I lost a friend over the factors surrounding the election of Barack Obama. She thought I was overstepping the line by calling him "morally repugnant" for his position on the "Born Alive" Act. I remember her also calling Sarah Palin a "cunt" but, oddly enough, she had no justification except for either her emotions or the fact she had thrown a few back and was feeling no pain.

But one thing that amazed me while viewing the Emmys with her and another woman was first, how Emmys are given for specific episodes (when did they start that?) and how well knowledged she and the other woman was with each announced episode . . . and especially when it came to Jon Stewart. Amazing! I opined then that liberals seemed to have forgotten that The Daily Show was supposed to be political satire - a comedy show, not a news show.

I did not realize how right I was until now.

In a poll taken by Time magazine, the question was asked: "Now that Walter Cronkite has passed on, who is America's most trusted newscaster?"

7% . . . Katie Couric

19% . . . Charles Gibson

29% . . . Brian Williams

44% . . . Jon Stewart

Even in a conservative state like Utah, Stewart got 59% of the vote.

At least Katie can lick her wounds in Iowa, the only state she "took," where she got 65% of the vote.

Strange Brew

President Obama's highly anticipated sit-down with Cambridge Police Sgt. James Crowley and Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. over some brews is expected to take place early this week, administration officials said Sunday.

Obama extended the invitation Friday in phone calls to the two men as he tried to calm a furor over racial profiling and his comments this week that the police "acted stupidly" in arresting Gates. He invited both to share a beer.

What do you think? Frankly, if I was Crowley, I would decline, stating that I acted appropriately in the course of my duties, which is more than can be said for the President, and that I did not want to be part of a cheesy publicity stunt to distract the public from the fact that Obama is an elitist.

And what are those two going to talk to Crowley about - race relations? Make him sit and listen to a lecture from Gates on the history of Black oppression in America? Badger him to admit there are examples of racist cops so Obama can feel his statements are justified?

Maybe I would go . . . if only to look at the beer and say, "This is it? I was expecting from the leader of the free world a '62 Pouilly-Fuissé, which is really more my style . . ." There is something patronizing about the expectation that everyone would sit down to "share a beer."

"Make a nice meat shield between the protectee and the problem . . ."

"Your job is to get big. Get your lats out wide. We are now a meat shield. A sandwich: Kevlar, your body, another layer of Kevlar -- covering the protectee."

This article is a fascinating look at the training that goes in to becoming a Secret Service agent. These guys define the term "badass."

Dilemma

A Brooklyn nurse claims she was forced to choose between her religious convictions and her job when Mount Sinai Hospital ordered her to assist in a late-term abortion against her will.

The hospital even exaggerated the patient's condition and claimed the woman could die if the nurse, a devout Catholic, did not follow orders, the nurse alleges in a lawsuit.

Bosses told the weeping Cenzon-DeCarlo the patient was 22 weeks into her pregnancy and had preeclampsia, a condition marked by high blood pressure that can lead to seizures or death if left untreated.

But the nurse, the niece of a Filipino bishop, contends that the patient's life was not in danger. She argued that the patient was not even on magnesium therapy, a common treatment for preeclampsia, and did not have problems indicating an emergency.

Her pleas were rejected, and instead she was threatened with career-ending charges of insubordination and patient abandonment, according to the lawsuit, filed Tuesday in Brooklyn federal court.

Feeling threatened, Cenzon-DeCarlo assisted in the procedure.

I can't get my head around this right now, the disgust is so great.

Galen Sherwin, the director of the New York Civil Liberties Union's Reproductive Rights Project, said the case centered on whether a medical emergency existed.

"The law provides protections for individuals who object to performing abortions, but at the same time, health-care professionals are not permitted to abandon patients," Sherwin said.

Mount Sinai is huge - don't tell me that they could not find another nurse.

As for the nurse, she will have to live with that guot, because, yes, she has sinned grieviously. This reminds me of a quote found on the blog of the Carolina Cannonball:

The time of persecution is coming. If brought up on charges of being a Catholic I hope there's enough evidence to convict me.

I Don't Think They Had This at Comic Con

I love super heroes.

I love Bollywood.

Put the two together and it is pure magic.

'Cause That's How Tweetie Rolls . . .

Police in Connecticut say they've seized more than 100 canaries and arrested 19 people in connection with a bird fighting operation.

Canaries generally are known as small songbirds that make good pets. But they can become aggressive and fight with each other, especially during breeding season.

I detest animal cruelty but these eedjuts take the cake - how friggin' bored must you be to look for excitement in fighting canaries?!?!

Mo-fo puddy tat better watch hisself . . .

Wedding Dance

I have watched this now several times, as a number of friends forwarded it to me. This is something incredibly beautiful when the bride and groom meet toward the end of the video and walk, in dancing step, with each other to the altar to be married.

To this couple, Jill and Kevin, I sincerely wish you a lifetime together of joy and the courage to withstand the troubles that life can bring. God bless you both and may He continue to command His angels to keep watch over you.

Lunacy

It was then that I embarked on my research, which has led me to this day when I can confidently make the following assertion: The Moon does not exist. As I realize this revelation may appear shocking to the average reader, allow me to repeat it:

The Moon does not exist!

This is no lie. Until recently, I, too, believed in the traditional, establishment view of the moon. But any thinking person, untainted by the biases imposed on us by the controlled media, will have no choice but to reach the conclusion I did once faced with the facts described in this account.

God bless America. Our society is such that the flotsam and jetsam of humanity, like this poor fellow, can not only survive, but have a home on the Internet.

A cash reward of $100,000 has been offered to anyone who can send us, by e-mail, conclusive physical evidence of the existence of the moon. This reward remains unclaimed.

He also uses kosher hot dogs as proof that Jews don't exist because, "You can't live on that stuff." Well, no, they do go better with condiments, a couple o' Nathan's and some grilled onions make the Digital Hairshirt a happy person.

I love people.

Come Home, John

His distress, say sources close to him, has been compounded by the first cracks in his 34-year relationship with the Church of Scientology, the cult-like religion of which Travolta is a prominent and generous benefactor.

And there are dark mutterings that if he carries out private threats to leave, the organisation will go public with embarrassing details of his private life, including, it is claimed, allegations of past homosexual relationships.

Sources in the U.S. disclosed to me this week that his son's sudden death has 'deeply shaken' Travolta's faith in the strange sect, which makes wild claims about its ability to cure a variety of physical and mental disorders.

Travolta is also said to be upset that senior members of the sect have instructed him to undergo intensive sessions with one of Scientology's 'ethics officers', trained to question the actor and other grieving family members to establish whether their 'negative influences' might have contributed to the tragedy.

Dear Mr. Travolta:

Any "religion" with which you have to fear blackmail if you decide to leave is not good - in fact, I think it falls squarely under the label of evil. Let me go a step further - those "ethic officers" are naught but demons sent to lead you astray.

The reporter is wrong in calling Scientology "cult-like" . . . it is a cult. In Sacred Scripture, we are admonished by Christ not to hide our light under a bushel basket. That is good to think about when facing any religion that makes its practices arcane, since it is indicative of hiding something. And do not be fooled by the excuse that a person is "not yet ready" to participate in such a practice - who would sell their soul for nothing but a promise of something unseen?

With that, I offer you a solution . . . come home. You know where - the Church into which you were baptized as an infant, the Holy Roman Catholic Church. Her doors remain wide open to you and your family. Her Sacraments, after proper preparation, are yours from which to receive unending Grace and healing.

The Catholic Church is ridiculously simple: follow Christ and receive eternal life. Receive forgiveness, receive healing, receive peace. I would add, "And all for free!" but I am speaking only of the monetary cost - there is a price, but the good news is that it has been largely subsidized for you by His Sacrifice on the cross. But you have some work to do as well, and the even better news is that you can do it "on the job," so to speak, and everyone is there to help.

So, come home, John . . . the fatted calf is on the spit.

Are You Going to San Francisco . . .

. . . flowers in my hair or not, HELL NO.

I really don't care what you do in the privacy of your own home, 'kay? But here's the problem I have when you feel obliged to drag your nasty out in the street - that space belongs to both of us. And it's not a pretty sight to see certain acts performed al fresco.

Folsom Street Events encourages all fairgoers to express behavior that is safe and within the law. We encourage everyone to take personal responsibility for providing a positive communal environment for the adult alternative lifestyle community. Lewd acts will be disrupted by our security volunteers who reinforce this message for anyone found on the fairgrounds to be in violation of our policy.

Really? Because last year that policy did not hold fast (warning: NSFW and extreme).

After the Boys of Summer Are Gone . . .

oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please . . .

Well, ya know . . . if it's God's will . . .

Shut the F*** Up, Donny . . .

I am so there next year!

Actually there were 11 Dudes, all dressed in the bathrobe-paired-with-sunglasses look made famous by actor Jeff Bridges in the movie "The Big Lebowski."

The venue, a bowling alley outside Seattle, Washington, was the setting for the Lebowski Fest, the unofficial celebration of the Coen brothers classic.

What is there not to like about this film. It is a masterpiece of cinematic genius. I could sit down with a White Russian and watch it right now.

Oh wait!

Turns out there is an offical Lebowski Fest web site - and there will be one in San Diego this Monday night!

Oh man, oh man, oh man . . . I gotta check my schedule . . .

Check eBay

Michael Jackson wore a prosthetic nose, according a report — and it was missing from his surgically mangled face as he lay in an LA morgue.

Left behind was a small, dark hole surrounded by bits of cartilage, Rolling Stone magazine said, citing witnesses who saw the King of Pop's body on the autopsy table.

It was last seen leaving a Denny's in Reno . . . (where it had gone to shoot a man just to see him die).

Racial Pimping

I loved Desire's take on this and not just because she was born in the Bronx (although that is reason enough). Her perspective is well-reasoned and intelligent, so listen up, people!

(Sorry, I can't seem to get the video to embed, so you'll have to clicky-clicky)

Bidden or Not, He is Here, Brad

BILD: Do you believe in God?

Brad Pitt (smiling): No, no, no!

BILD: Is your soul spiritual?

Brad Pitt: No, no, no! I’m probably 20 per cent atheist and 80 per cent agnostic. I don’t think anyone really knows. You’ll either find out or not when you get there, until then there’s no point thinking about it.

And yet, God believes in Brad Pitt. And loves him.

You Win the War By Making the Other Bastard Die For His . . .

President Obama has put securing Afghanistan near the top of his foreign policy agenda, but "victory" in the war-torn country isn't necessarily the United States' goal, he said Thursday in a TV interview.

"I'm always worried about using the word 'victory,' because, you know, it invokes this notion of Emperor Hirohito coming down and signing a surrender to MacArthur," Obama told ABC News.

And what? That would be "insensitive" to those who lost? And, in this case, Al Qaeda? I really am not concerned about preserving their dignity in defeat.

I would like to think there are specific objectives towards which we are working, such that attaining them can be termed a victory, a success, and accomplishment, or whatever the hell you want to call it.

This is why I distruct liberals - they have some "sense" of what they want, and that gets expressed into a myriad of "objectives," but there is no thought given to how we get from Point A to Point B.

Can't We All Just Get Along

"I have to say I am surprised by the controversy surrounding my statement," Obama said in an interview with ABC News, "because I think it was a pretty straightforward comment that you probably don't need to handcuff a guy, a middle-aged man who uses a cane, who's in his own home."

Really? I think it's also pretty straightforward that the President of the United States would not be so dumbass to make a statement that the cop acted "stupidly" after:

(a) admitting he does not know all of the facts;

(b) mentioning that he might have soem bias as Professor Gates is a personal friend;

(c) making a sweeping, generalized statement unsupported by facts about race in America;

(d) realizing, as a lawyer, that such statements coming from a public figure could taint a case;

(e) and playing dumb - or actually being that naive - to think there would be no reaction to your statement since you are, after all, the President of the United States.

Update: Amy makes an excellent point in comments to this post when she says, "Funny how Obama never said anything about Notre Dame police handcuffing a peacefully-protesting ELDERLY priest back when he gave an address there... "

Obscure Music Friday

Song: (I'll Love You) Till the End of the World

Artist: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Why I Like This Song: Because it's weird and obscure. A long time ago, I owned the soundtrack for the movie "Until the End of the Wordl," but I have never seen it.

You know, it's actually pretty cheery.

More Awesomeness

I am thinking of buying the t-shirt with this design, entitled, "A Very Naughty Bear."

You know, I don't think Mother cuddled with me enough, when I was a kid . . .

Awesomeness

I ordered this t-shirt for my daughter on Threadless.com, but I think I will steal it for myself. Or, at least, she has to share.

Play her off, keyboard cat!

The Day the Chalupa Died

Well, if they can mourn both Michael Jackson and his stuffed toys, I am sorry to report more sad news to the world.

Gidget, the 15-year-old dog best known for her Taco Bell ad campaign, died of a stroke Tuesday in Los Angeles, California, said Sue Chipperton, her trainer.

Uttering the words "Yo Quiero Taco Bell," Gidget, a female dog, played a male dog in the commercials.

But there is a dark side to Hollywood . . .

Roles were hard to come by for the pooch after her popularity soared from the Taco Bell ads, according to her trainer.

"She was kind of typecast, so she never really got much work after that," Chipperton said.

"That's what her life had come to over the years," playing small background roles, Chipperton said.

Thass' because she was a Latina, ese!

A memorial concert featuring Jennifer Lopez and Los Tigres del Norte is planned, with additional celebrity performers, and a date and venue to be announced later this week. Mayor Villaraigosa has already stated that the city will foot the bill for the event.

'Cause You Gotta Have Friends

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton said Thursday the communist regime has "no friends left" to shield it from punishing U.N. penalties.

Because it is so important to be liked.

Which I don't think really concerns Kim Il Jong.

The Day the Toys Died

Many people do not know that Jerry Lewis once produced a serious film called The Day the Clown Cried in which he played a clown who was captured in a Nazi concentration camp and who survived by keeping children calm and entertained for their captors as they were led into the gas chambers. It is hard to imagine anyone greenlighting that project, but fortunately it was never released because it was simply too morbidly depressing and shock the sensitivities of too many people.

Times, they are a-changin', though . . .

Hundreds of stuffed animals—some wearing a single white glove—and other memorabilia left outside the Motown Historical Museum in memory of the man whose career started at Motown Records were buried Friday in two vaults at the cemetery. Police led two hearses filled with the items and seven cars with funeral flags flying in a procession from the museum to the ceremony.

The cemetery had two donated plots, and private companies provided the free vaults and a granite headstone engraved with a tribute to Jackson. About 40 people attended the ceremony.

They buried the stuffed animals as a funeral for Michael Jackson . . . let that just sink in.

Prediction: just when interest starts to flag, the location of the body will be revealed and an elaborate burial will be staged by the family. So don't think he's old news, yet.

Penance

After removing himself from Facebook, I was surprised to see young Keven McGill send me one more message:

Dear Stephanie,

I have realized the pictures that I have posted have insulted many and that I have caused shame to my faith and family. I realize that I am wrong and because of that, have removed the pictures that have caused this situation. I love my church and try to follow the doctrine as close as I can. I loved being a missionary, and I love all other churches. I went to a catholic mass one time and enjoyed myself. I also went to a baptist church and even pentecostal churches in Harlem. I love all churches, and I didn't mean to offend. The pictures I had were to joke around with my friends, and I know that it's not tolerable. From the bottom of my soul, I apologize, and hope that god directs your path always. I know it may be too much to ask, but I would appreciate it if those pictures were removed. If there's anything I can do, let me know. My sincere apologies.

I am sure that there are those who would think me cruel, but here is my reply:

Keven,

You are probably hoping for a short answer, but that's hard to come by when someone is both of Irish descent and an attorney.

As you know, Catholics have what we call the Sacrament of Reconciliation, or - using a term that you might have heard [name deleted] use - Penance.

It is widely misunderstood by many to hold that if a Catholic sins, all he or shee needs to do is to enter the confessional, blurt out what they have done, and voila! The soul is cleansed and nothing more.

But that is not the case, because in addition to stating aloud the sins, there is also penance - depending on the age and maturity of the penitent, the priest prescribes an appropriate act that the person must do. And even then, that does not mean the person escapes the consequences of judgment by God. You might have heard that Catholics have to "say five Our Fathers and three Hail Mary's". It was that simple when we are children, but as we mature, our sins become more significant and the penance greater. And greater still what lies after death.

I will not take down my postings, but I will not send a letter to any Mormon officials or the Catholic League. Eventually, with the frequency of my posting, they will all too soon slip "below the fold," as they say in bloggerese, and given the relatively short attention span of people, become forgotten.

Let me try to explain the magnitude of those pictures to me. I am Irish-Polish and so both sides of my family were persecuted for their Catholic faith. My grandfather's family left in Poland (he emigrated to the US in 1921) were largely wiped out in Operation Barbarossa, by which Hitler sought to exterminate the Slavic peoples. My father suffered the loss, albeit indirectly, of his first wife and son due to the savagery he experienced as a Ranger in WWII and the psychological effect it had on him. But let's talk about my late father - he was a devout Knight of Columbus and a member of the Holy Name society, who attended Mass and prayed the Rosary and worked two jobs so his three kids could attend Catholic schools. Those pictures do more than insult my religion - they descecrate the memories of my family.

I forgive your actions, resulting I am sure from youthful exuberance and immaturity. I can say this because I have made similar mistakes and will always be imperfect until the day I die. But as I have grown older, as much as I wish certain moments of time could be expunged, I have come to appreciate the discomfort they evoke because it serves to help me "go and sin no more," as Jesus told the woman with five husbands. I hope very much your apology is motivated less by getting those pictures down and more so by true reconciliation.

That's my compromise - I don't write a letter but the postings remain in the blogosphere. Perhaps if Keven is concerned that a Mormon official might see them, perhaps now is a good time to report to his religious superior and admit his mistake, regardless of whether he considers it merely an indiscretion or realizes the bigotry displayed.

And yes, after sending it, I realize I have the wrong woman from the story - so Scripture buffs, hold your fire.

What's For Lunch?

"Fast Food Mafia" by Silent Sketcher.

Why I Don't Give Money to the PSA

The PSA - Pastoral Services Appeal - is Bishop Tod Brown's annual "pass the basket." My husband and I, in good faith, cannot donate. Instead, we focus our tithing on our local church, the parish of St. Joseph Church in Santa Ana.

A priest who escaped prosecution on allegations that he molested a boy more than 30 years ago was arrested Monday on new charges of molesting a second boy at a Costa Mesa Catholic school during the mid-1990s.

Lyons, who was removed from ministry in April 2002, has cost the Diocese of Orange more than $4 million in settlements of other sex-abuse claims.

Molestation accusations aren't anything new to Lyons. In 1993, he admitted to inappropriate behavior with two adults in 1979, when he was pastor at St. John the Baptist. He was placed into counseling but put on administrative leave in 2002 when he was assigned to St. Edward Church in Dana Point.

In 2003, he was charged with molesting a teenage boy for three years beginning in 1978 at St. John the Baptist. But that case was dropped after a U.S. Supreme Court ruling invalidated prosecutions of some older sex crimes, including acts allegedly committed Lyons.

So, to sum up, Fr. Lyons was having his fun for some 30 years and the diocese did . . . nothing. Then until the diocese cleans up its act, when they come asking for money, I will do the same. And continue to support the parish that I call home.

To those good priests whom I count as friends - and guys, you know who you are - thank you.

Like Lemmings to the Sea

It’s not that interesting to watch the Democrats lose touch with America. That’s because the plotline is exactly the same. The party is led by insular liberals from big cities and the coasts, who neither understand nor sympathize with moderates. They have their own cherry-picking pollsters, their own media and activist cocoon, their own plans to lavishly spend borrowed money to buy votes.

Machiavelli said a leader should be feared as well as loved. Obama is loved by the Democratic chairmen, but he is not feared.

Interesting editorial in this morning New York Times. Go and read.

Keven's Last Message

Keven McGill - that's Elder Keven McGill - sent one last message on Facebook to me and I see he has cut off the thread, as he has left Facebook. I expect him to be back - social butterflies like himself cannot stay away.

However, he's a hurt puppy and has now resorted to whining, which is never becoming in a man (but to be expected from a little boy):

your rediculous, what are you trying to do, make me upset or something? go bug someone else, there's 13 million mormons in the world, i'm sure you can find one that's worse than me.

This is it? This is someone who represents the goal of the Mormon Church to gather more souls into its fold? I think someone ought to revamp the screening process at the missionary training program.

This Yankee Fan Loves Boston For This

It is July 4th and Fenway Park in Boston is sold out. It was also Disability Awareness Day in the park, and with the first words of our national anthem sung by this young man, it was clear he was not a professional.

And he got nervous . . . and flubbed his lines . . . and started giggling. Watch what the crowd did.

Warning: verklempt alert!

God bless America.

No Seal of Approval for You!

A judge on Monday gave the city 72 hours to begin chasing harbor seals out of the Children's Pool at La Jolla beach or face heavy daily fines, ruling firmly for humans in a years-long battle over who should win exclusive use of the cove.

The city plans to hire someone to walk the beach with a public address system broadcasting the sound of barking dogs to scare off the seals, said Andrew Jones, the assistant city attorney for civil litigation.

The Children's Pool is one of only two beaches in Southern California where harbor seals give birth and nurse their young.

I am designing the t-shirts for this cause now as we speak:

PINNIPED JUSTICE NOW!

SPECIESISM IS WRONG!

FOOTED FACSISM!

I AM THE WALRUS!

The Best and The Brightest From SLC - Keven!

Oh, that Keven!

One of the advantages of age is to be able to look at this and recall those days when you were young and stupid . . . and, with any luck, you had someone plant a size 12 up yer arse which caused you both to grow up and wise up.

Keven McGill has a lot to learn in life. I suggest you include him in your prayers. It is disappointing, really, because I have met some very fine Mormon missionaries, whose names and reputations are besmirched by idiots like this. This is our exchange on Facebook:

From me:

Yo, dawg!

I feel I can use that salutation because your profile picture suggests you are an up-and-coming young missionary with some serious street creds, what with holding an air gun "gangsta" style and all. And the white shirt with black suit and tie is positively “Reservoir Dogs,” although the name tag – “geek badge” as it is more commonly known – detracts from your persona. I’d consider losing that and replacing it with some bling.

I got a chance to see your mission pictures from NYC. But see, this is where your profile picture belies your artistic soul, given the artwork you also displayed. I suppose there's no room to pursue that line of work in your future, though - after all, I am going to guess that you are destined to fulfill your mission, hit the books at BYU, graduate, and then enter insurance sales middle management, putting on that white shirt and conservative tie every day to trudge off to the office job secured by your family's connections. Oh, and don't forget settling down with that lucky future Mrs. McGill and making babies!

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I appreciated your photos so much, I shared them with my friends, both here and at my blog, The Digital Hairshirt. I have been getting quite a bit of feedback . . . a lot of my friends would LOVE to meet you to discuss theology. And responsible gun ownership.

I’m sure you are very busy over there *im Deutschland* (know it well, did my time there), so here’s a convenient link to my blog, so you don’t have to Google it.

http://digihairshirt.blogspot.com/

Pax vobiscum!(That's Latin - you know, that crazy lingo of those Papist mackeral snappers)

From my new friend, Keven:

Hey thanks for posting my pics on your page!*sarcasm* I apologize for any pictures that may have upset you. Next time, ask permission before you just take what is someone elses. If you have any questions, or anything about mormons, go to http://www.mormon.org

Listen, missionary work is difficult, and I would love to send you any other links or anything if you have questions.

But seriously, ask permission next time.

Time for a legal lesson from me:

Ah, changed your profile picture, I see - why?

I suggest, son, that you go and acquaint yourself with the legal doctrine of fair use, which means I did not "take what is someone else's" since I am allowed to use your picture to editorialize as to its content. Especially a picture that you voluntarily placed in a public forum. It is ironic - you complain about me using your picture but you have no issue with using one of Josef Ratzinger, a.k.a. Pope Benedict XVI, for your own prurient amusement.

A better solution, really, is for you to stop publishing such displays of religious bigotry. Is this what the Mormon church condones? Is such bigotry an accepted, but hidden, part of your faith? Well, without getting too much into a religious discussion, would you be proud to show those pictures to your parents?

While I can appreciate that missionary work is difficult - and what is unfortunate is that any waste of your time doing it is a financial cost to your parents, right? - it is no justification for what amounts to hate speech. And before you start posturing about your right to free speech, realize that right - which does, in fact, allow you to impugn the character of a man you have never met - does not preclude consequences for your conduct. You will learn that with age and experience, hopefully.

And if you think you have been wronged by my publication of your juvenile attempts at humor, feel free to take me to court. Let me know when the process server is coming, I'll do him or her the courtesy of meeting at a convenient spot to accept the court papers.

Keven's erudition in reply:

damn, don't be so butt hurt, did that take you 10 minutes to write that reply, it was so long i didn't read the whole thing. Shut up and quit crying. the internet is full of crap about religion, go find it elsewhere

My last attempt to impart some wisdom:

No, actually, it took me less than five minutes - but that's because I can put together a coherent argument in the time it takes you to take a piss. But that's what I've been trained to do.

Keven, you truly are a young and pompous ass who is looking ahead to some experience in the hurt locker in life. And what's more, a disgrace to your religion and, very likely, your family.

Feel free to drop him a line.

It Was 40 Years Ago Today

Late night on the East Coast.

My siblings and I, our parents, and my maternal grandparents sat in the living room of the old row house on Perry Avenue in the Bronx, glued to the T.V.

I was eight years old.

We held our breaths and watched as Neil Armstrong stepped out.

When his foot landed, Mom and Grandma started crying. My Dad shot up and stood straight, breathing hard. We kids cheered.

But Grandpa - Mike Koretzky, who survived the Russian Revolution of 1913 as a young soldier, who emigrated through Ellis Island in 1921, who became a U.S. citizen in 1939, and was now sitting in his living room, watching his television, in a house he owned privately - stood up and shouted, "We beat them - we beat those Commie bastards!"

A few days later, even at eight, it hit me - when Grandpa was born, we didn't even have cars.

God bless America.

Where were you?

Mo' Keven

I had a chance to look at that Mormon dude's Facebook photo album again - is there anything more pathetic than some white punk-ass kid trying to imitate the "bust a cap on yo' ass" look with what one presumably thinks he would hold as his own Sacred Scripture?

What a pussy.

Fr. Erik, thanks for the tip on where to send these pictures. God help Keven and Krew if they showed up on your doorstep.

Mormons on Facebook

One of my high school classmates has, sadly, turned away from Mother Church and became a Mormon. He is one of my Facebook friends.

Facebook allows you to see other "non-friend" photo albums in their entirety when one of your friends is tagged in any one picture, rather than just the single picture where your Facebook friend was tagged.

These photos - and the one in the posting below - came from an album called "NYNYN Mission" placed on Facebook by one Keven McGill. Classy, no? I wonder if it would make a difference to his bishop if these were brought to his attention. But what the heck - I'll send a letter to the temple in Manhattan with the photos on Monday.

By the way, from his new profile picture on Facebook, that's Keven in my posting below. If he comes riding by your neighborhood, say hello for me, won't ya?

It's Hard Out Here (For a Missionary)

The news of out of Salt Lake City is that the Mormon Church has announced a more updated and contemporary style of proselytizing. Here, Elder Keven McGill demonstrates the procedure for interfacing with folks who insist upon exercising the "No Solicitors" signs by their doorways . . .

A DigiTheater Review: Spamalot

Yesterday the DigiSpouse and I joined friends at the Ahmanson Theater in Los Angeles to see the stage musical Spamalot, which is basically Monty Python and the Holy Grail as a musical with one song from Life of Brian thrown in.

The good: the songs were very clever and I especially enjoyed the subtle dig at Andrew Lloyd Webber with "The Song That Goes Like This." I was impressed by the dancing, given the relatively small size of the stage.

The bad: too predictable. If you have seen the movie, then as soon as a scene is set up, you know exactly where it is going. Exactly. Mind you, the movie was extraordinarily funny but somehow the impact is lessened by seeing it "live." Very little dialogue, just enough to segue from one musical number to another.

Yes, It's a Commercial

But you would not know it until the very end. From Thailand, where they have the patience to watch a 4-minute commercial and this one is worth viewing.

Verklempt alert.

Hang in There

The American soldier who went missing June 30 from his base in eastern Afghanistan and was later confirmed to have been captured, said in a video posted by the Taliban that he's "scared I won't be able to go home."

Hang in there. There are still Americans who pray and they are praying for you.

Sure, You Can Do This in Your 20's

He said: "The party started normally and it all seemed pretty harmless - people were drinking but everyone was very well behaved and pleasant.

"The whole group were dressed in these great costumes and it looked exactly like something out of Eyes Wide Shut.

"But then one of the organisers announced: 'The moment has come. The spell has begun' and everyone began kissing and having sex.

"The first thing we saw was one couple at it on a window sill. When the haze from the dry ice in the disco room cleared we realised it was going on everywhere.

The poor estate agent for this English country manor wasn't clued in by the company who rented the locale for this costume party - and at midnight, the unexpected orgy began.

I'm having a party next weekend to help a dear friend of mine say goodbye to his 30's. Please be advised that this will not happen.

He's got to get up early the next day. So we'll start at 8:00 . . .
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(Oh, we will not - it's humor, folks, so please, no anonymous comments in the vein of "you should be ashamed to call yourself a Catholic . . .")

Comedy Central [Valley]

"Breaking News Playboy just offered Sarah Palin $1 million to pose nude in the January issue. Michelle Obama got the same offer from National Geographic."

In the past several months Atwater City Councilman Gary Frago has sent at least a half-dozen e-mails to city staff and other prominent community members containing racist jokes aimed at President Barack Obama, his wife and black people in general.

Frago said he sends all kinds of joke e-mails about every one from Jews to Portuguese (Frago is of Portuguese descent). These e-mails were just meant for friends, not public officials, he added. Frago said any e-mails were sent via personal accounts.

Black community leaders called the e-mails outrageous, revealing that American society has not left behind some of its racist past.

While recent racial barriers have been broken -- such as the election of a black president -- and most outright racial and prejudice is not acceptable in public, local civil rights activists and others believe the e-mails illustrate the racism that lingers behind some doors assumed to be closed in Atwater and America.

No, we have not left behind our racist past . . . no more than we have left behind our anti-Semitic past or anti-Catholic past or anti-immigrant past, etc. Did not the President of the United States made a joke about his bowling skills at the expense of kids in Special Olympics?

It is part of the nature of us humans and consider every joke you have ever heard . . . someone, somehow, is the butt of it. That is why we are the animal that laughs - because it keeps us from devolving into despair and hopelessness. Humor keeps us alive, whether subtle or outrageous.

Such jokes will always continue to be circulated, whether among members of the targeted group or not. I have to ask, however - Councilman Frago has been in office since 2000. How is his record? Do people think he's doing a good job?

Her Secret is Out

Oh, I hope they have an English version soon!

One of her cakes, she said, came to her in a dream. The creation, dubbed ''A Nun's Secret,'' layers cheesecake, pink fruity gelatin and yellow cake all beneath a shell of chocolate icing.

''It is only God who gives me the recipes. Who else?'' Sister Anastazja, a member of the order Daughters of Divine Love, said in an interview with The Associated Press at the Jesuit center.

And Rahm is Malfoy

From Russia With Love

Barry, they're just not that into you . . .

Pain? Vot Pain?

The pope, 82, fell in his room in a chalet overnight and despite the accident, celebrated Mass and had breakfast before going to the hospital, a Vatican statement said.

And then he heard Chuck Norris' confession. Because that's just how tough a man he is.

Obscure Music Friday

Song: Wolf at the Door

Artist: Radiohead

Why I Like It: It's dark and spooky and I first heard it over at the Porch thanks to The Ugly American, who is anything but.

Catholic Church Under Fire in Canada

It did, as it were, have to happen. A human rights body taking on the Roman Catholic Church. In this case the issues are still murky and confused, but it appears that an openly gay man who has been living with his partner for 19 years has been dismissed as an altar server in his Peterborough, Ont., parish.

The man in question, spa-owner Jim Corcoran, claims that while he is homosexual he is celibate and a devout Catholic who observes Church teaching.

One of which is obedience, but don't let that ruin it for you. Also, one is called to "avoid the near occasion of sin," which makes his claim of celibacy while "living with his partner for 19 years" suspect.

Evidently, in Canada one has a basic human right to be an altar server. I suppose the next step are womynpriests, eh?

For a non-Catholic body to interfere at all in such a manner is disgraceful; for an obviously politically driven human rights tribunal to potentially smash the barrier between church and state is terrifying.

It's a brave new world.

Prediction Fail

We're So Screwed

"People, when I say that, look at me and say, 'What are you talking about, Joe? You're telling me we have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt?" he said. "The answer is yes."

Who Am I?

I was born in one country, raised in another. My father was born in another country. I was not his only child. He fathered several children with numerous women.

I became very close to my mother, as my father showed no interest in me. My mother died at an early age from cancer. Later in life, questions arose over my real name. My birth records were sketchy and no one was able toproduce a legitimate, reliable birth certificate.

I worked and lived among lower-class people as a young adult, disguising myself as someone who really cared about them. That was before I decided it was time to get serious about my life and I embarked on a new career.

I wrote a book about my struggles growing up. It was clear to those who read my memoirs that I had difficulties accepting that my father abandoned me as a child.

I became active in local politics in my 30's then withhelp behind the scenes, I literally burst onto the scene as a candidate for national office in my 40s. They said I had a golden tongue and could talk anyone into anything.

I had a virtually non-existent resume, little work history, and no experience in leading a single organization. Yet I was a powerful speaker and citizens were drawn to me as though I were a magnet and they were small roofing tacks. I drew incredibly large crowds during my public appearances. This bolstered my ego.

At first, my political campaign focused on my country's foreign policy...... I was very critical of my country in the last war and seized every opportunity to bash my country. But what launched my rise to national prominence were my views on the country's economy. I pretended to have a really good plan on how we could do better and every poor person would be fed and housed for free. I knew which group was responsible for getting us into this mess. It was the free market, banks, and corporations. I decided to start making citizens hate them and if they were envious of others who did well, the plan was clinched tight.

I called mine "A People's Campaign" and that sounded good to all people. I was the surprise candidate because I emerged from outsidethe traditional path of politics and was able to gain widespread popular support. I knew that, if I merely offered the people 'hope', together we could change our country and the world.

So, I started to make my speeches sound like they were on behalf of the downtrodden, poor, ignorant, and to include"persecuted minorities". My true views were not widely known and I kept them unknown, until after I became my nation's leader.

I had to carefully guard reality, as anybody could have easily found out what I really believed, if they had simply read my writings and examined those people I associated with. I'm glad they didn't. Then I became the mostpowerful man in the world. And the world learned the truth.

Who am I?

ADOLF HITLER

WHO WERE YOU THINKING OF?

Scary isn't it?

(Thanks to Buzz Bannister's friend, Erick)

Go Red, Go White, Go Red, Go White, Go Fight Team Fight!

The front entrance of Cardinal Spellman High School.

Note lack of barbed wire and metal detectors.

Sotomayor, now nominated for the Supreme Court by President Obama, seemed to hit her stride at Spellman, a rigorous Catholic institution and educational oasis in a crime-stricken neighborhood of the Bronx.

And now, a word from someone who was Cardinal Spellman High School Class of '78: this is not quite true.

I know mainstream media reporters, many of whom came from backgrounds with no real experience in city life, would like to paint a picture of the Bronx as being pretty much on the same level as Beirut back in the 70's and 80's.

The Bronx is a big place. And the area around Spellman, off of Boston Post Road, was not some horrible ghetto. Maybe it is now, but at the time I went to Spellman, it was blue-collar, middle class for the most part.

There was no security when we came and went. The school had contracted with the city bus system to provide special busses that we called "specials" that brought us to and from the neighborhoods where we lived. The busses did not pull up to the door and we hustled under withering cross-fire to get in - we walked the couple of blocks and got on them, without an escort and without fear. If you had an extra-curricular activity after school, you stayed and then caught a regular city bus back home. My parents - who were concerned about my safety in all respects - had no issue with me taking a bus home from Spellman after dark. Hell, I have even walked from my home in Norwood to Spellman with no problems. In the mid-70's.

Sotomayor graduated from Spellman in '72, so she was there at a time when it actually "safer." The Bronx was "crime-stricken" in the sense that crime occurred but it simply was not at a level to make it the same as South Central or Bedford-Stuvesant or Eight Mile is today.

Compromise

The nation's largest group of atheists and agnostics filed a lawsuit Tuesday seeking to block an architect from engraving "In God We Trust" and the Pledge of Allegiance at the Capitol Visitor Center in Washington.

So let's make a deal - the center will feature a large, blank wall as a tribute to the agnostics and atheists. Everyone gets a little something.

Don't this people have something better to do?

The DigiFamily Album: Rhonda and Gary

My husband's cousin Rhonda used to deal blackjack in Vegas, before she met Gary, a successful propane lobbyist in Reno. We were all surprised by her transformation, which I think is attributable to Gary being some 15 years younger than her. We were even more shocked when they announced that they had decided to train their cats as therapy pets for the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America . . . but God love them, last week we heard that they and their pets were named Goodwill Ambassadors of the Month to Childrens Hospital of Elko, NV. There's gonna be a lotta happy kids!

Better the Devil You Know . . .

University of Denver (DU) researchers find that couples who live together before they are engaged have a higher chance of getting divorced than those who wait until they are married to live together, or at least wait until they are engaged. In addition, couples who lived together before engagement and then married, reported a lower satisfaction in their marriages.

Sure, marriage by laziness - too often is the case where a person becomes embedded in a relationship that is not satisfactory, but the thought of change is too intimidating, either because of the effort involved or the fear of the unknown. Better the Devil you know than the one you don't.

But eventually it catches up . . . and then I get them in my office.

Job security? yeah, I have already seen some repeat offenders - people will get into another "relationship" (and I am talking about something that goes beyond casual dating) before the Judgment for Dissolution of Marriage is even entered with the court.