Who Didn't?

"I cried and screamed, I went to the bathroom and threw up."

Save the Pigs!

The World Health Organization announced Thursday it will would stop using the term "swine flu" to avoid confusion over the danger posed by pigs. The policy shift came a day after Egypt began slaughtering thousands of pigs in a misguided effort to prevent swine flu.

That's the good news . . . the bad news is that they've adopted the term "Mexican flu" and now Taco Bell stock has dropped precipitously . . .

In related news . . .

You can purchase a miniature pig as a housepet.

Who Keeps the Coordinates?

Why is there an "early census" that involves mapping the GPS coordinates of my house?

The Census Bureau will hire at least 300 county residents to start the "early census."

This early census entails only mapping, verifying and updating addresses. The Census Bureau mails the actual census questionnaire in March 2010.

Every residence in the county is entered into the census employees' GPS hand-held computers, he explained.

Crew and class leaders warn students that any personal information they collect is strictly confidential and that it is a federal crime to divulge any of that information.

Some training graduates said they are worried about standing in front of a stranger's house and aiming a GPS at the house."I was at a house in Camp Verde and the person came running out accusing me of being from ACORN (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now,)" one lister, who asked to remain anonymous, said.

ACORN has already been identified as a player in the next census.

See? More Than Just an Itchy Palm . . .

Frankie says, "Relax - don't do it . . ."

Disclaimer: I am not making fun of the sin of Onan, but the rather draconian consequences believed to come about back in 1844.

Swine

Just as Gordon Brown was gravely announcing that two more Britons had been diagnosed with the virus, one government figure, I can disclose, decided that the potential pandemic was a great opportunity for a joke.

In a bizarre attempt at humour, junior minister Sion Simon suggested that unlikely Britain's Got Talent singing sensation Susan Boyle is to blame.

The MP for Birmingham Erdington, 40, posted his comment online on his Twitter page, writing: 'I'm not saying Susan Boyle caused swine flu. I'm just saying that nobody had swine flu, she sang on TV, people got swine flu.'

For Simon, the minister for further education, was posting what he thought was a witty aside on the crisis just as it was confirmed a 12-year-old Devon girl had contracted the virus.

Minister for further education?

Brave words coming from a git who looks like the bastard child of Elton John.

Overseer

Harvard Law School baby . . . if she can't figure out this is a metaphor for her husband's brand of government, well . . .

Noo Yawk Sez: I Gotcher Flyover Here!

God bless the New York Daily News for this: create your own Air Force One flyover picture!

Memo to the White House: Not only was flying a Presidential jet for a photo-op Monday over downtown Manhattan in bad taste – it was unnecessary.

Anyone in the White House ever hear of Photoshop?

You'd think the administration would've been tech-savvy enough to realize the merits of the computer software program – what with its constant Internet spin doctoring and the President's notorious BlackBerry infatuation.

The cost of flying one of Obama's official planes – a pimped-out Boeing 747 – along with an F-16 jet over the city cost upwards of $300,000 in taxpayer dollars.

Oh, they did not call Air Force One "pimped out!" BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!

The Daily News is calling for people to submit their own "Air Force One Flyover" photos - this is too fun! Some of the reader submissions have been priceless!

Yankee Stadium fly over

Air Force Lost

Air Force Sistine

Unclear on the Concept

Former beauty queens taking part of a "No on 8" campaign demonstrate their own failure to grasp the issue with Carrie Prejean . . . take the duct tape off, idiots, because your position in support of gay marriage is considered the "acceptable" one.

It's Carrie who should be shown "gagged" since her voicing her own opinion is not to be tolerated and cost her a beauty pageant crown.

Dumb bunnies.

Plane Folks

The hoopla regarding the ill-fated Flight of the Photo Op debacle over the skies of lower Manhattan got me thinking . . . why were they flying Air Force One for a photo op?

It would be easy to surmise that Obama, in his infinite egotism, just could not bring himself to use the pictures taken by previous administrations. After all, I have seen plenty of publicity photos of Air Force One taken by nationally-known sites, such as Mount Rushmore. So it seems reasonable that somewhere there is a shot of the plane by the Statue of Liberty. News reports said that because of this, another such flight scheduled for Washington DC by the Capitol Building was scrapped (what, no buzzing the Pentagon?).

But what use are these photos? They are used for publicity - postcards, playing cards, t-shirts, etc. And then it occurred to me - Obama is going to use Air Force One like the Clintons used the Lincoln Bedroom. Be a $upporter . . . and get a plane ride. Probably even a photo of a landmark nearby where you rode Air Force One with a pre-printed autograph of the President. The crew will give you their real autographs, if you ask.

Don't even ask if there's a drink service. Bottled water only.

And you'll take it in the rear. Oh, boarding, I mean - what were you thinking?

Centidiurnal of the Messiah

Here, the New York Post made it easy for everyone.

100 DAYS, 100 MISTAKES

Including . . .

The Bad, The Worse, and the Ugly

President Obama and Vice President Biden publicly welcomed Sen. Arlen Specter to the Democratic Party Wednesday, calling him a man of "immense personal courage" and "unmatched integrity."

"Arlen Specter is one tough hombre," Obama said during a morning news conference Wednesday inside the White House.

"I don't expect Arlen to be a rubber stamp," he added.

I have figured out that when Obama starts using "folksy" terms to describe someone, they become mere stooges in his plan for world domination. After all, didn't he say of Biden that around the White House, they call him "the Sheriff?"

Yeah, well, and the voters of Pennsylvania didn't expect Arlen to be a traitor, either.

Cracks Me Up

The Obama administration is asking Congress to close the big gap in prison sentences for dealing crack versus powdered cocaine, a law that critics say is unfair to blacks.

"The administration believes Congress' goal should be to completely eliminate the disparity in prison sentences between crack cocaine and powdered cocaine," Breuer said in written testimony to be delivered Wednesday.

Federal law now has what lawyers call a "100-to-1" ratio for cocaine sentences, in which a person selling five grams of crack faces the same five-year mandatory minimum sentence as someone selling 500 grams of powder cocaine.

Critics of the law say it unfairly punishes black offenders, pointing to statistics showing 82 percent of federal crack cocaine convicts were black, while nine percent were white.

I had this sudden vision of Obama posting this on Facebook and within minutes, getting the notification that Marion Barry likes this. Thumbs up!

If you are wondering about the differences:

The effects of Crack are similar to those of Cocaine, although since Crack is smoked, additional risks exist. General effects include constricted blood vessels and increased temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure, restlessness, irritability, anxiety, and with long term use, violence and paranoia are noted. Additional risks of smoking crack include respiratory problems such as shortness of breath, chest pains, lung trauma and bleeding. As with cocaine, crack is highly addictive. Evidence shows that when cocaine and crack are smoked (as opposed to other methods), there is increased risk of compulsive cocaine-seeking behavior.

I am amazed that the basis for changing the law is because of the disparity in the racial makeup of the offenders. Of course, one could argue that perhaps there is a similar disparity in the racial makeup of the victims that warrant harsher penalties. Ask Blacks living near a crack house how they feel about this. Equality for all!

Weird Yard

This is today's entry in my Project 365 (take a picture, one a day, for a year) and it is a first-time attempt at some High Dynamic Range (HDR) with some filtering, just to make it interesting.

Everytime I go to court in Pomona, CA, I pass this house with a huge side yard. It's odd . . . the ylawn is "decorated" with old toys, not simply thrown about, but actually placed in groupings. Although there is a swing set, I never see children there.

I wonder what the story behind it is . . .

Real Woman

First you go to Jamaica, which is good. Then you get married, which is even better. Then after you've spent the best part of the week at a snazzy resort you ... hop on a plane and get back to East Tennessee in time for opening day of turkey season.

She did admit the turkey took a backseat to other things that week.

"That would definitely be marrying him," Rene said. "That had to be the highlight."

I think this woman is a gem and many a man would call her a "keeper." I think more women should be hunting and handling guns to shoot down old stereotypes.

Mazel tov, sweetie . . . oh, and nice bird!

"Also, please remember that President Obama is not pro-abortion . . ."

Read this letter from a proud Notre Dame mother:

My daughter is a senior at Notre Dame University, and I am embarrassed by the opposition to President Obama's speech and honorary degree. I consider him the most "pro-life" president of my lifetime. His domestic and foreign policy agenda and his outreach to all reasonable people in the world are more than inspiring. I suggest that my fellow Catholics remember that fewer abortions were performed during the Clinton years than during the Bush years. Also, please remember that President Obama is not pro-abortion. He is against the government telling a woman what she must do with her own body and future. I would think my anti-government friends would be against this as well. And why is it that Republicans would be the first to scream if their taxes were raised to support unwanted babies? Catholics are supposed to respect life. Show some respect for your president, who is currently trying to save the world from disaster in so many areas.

Mom is Joan Bradley of Pennsylvania.

I simply cannot comment . . .

Paint HIm With His Foot in His Mouth

Gregory Grant, the president of the local chapter of the National Action Network, an advocacy group headed by the Rev. Al Sharpton, saw in it an offensive stereotype in a city that already had its share of racial problems.

“We’re telling our young people to take the gold teeth out of your mouth and pull your pants up and be a responsible citizen, and then you paint one on the wall,” Mr. Grant said. “I immediately responded in a very violent, negative-type way.”

He began hearing from others with similar concerns, and got in touch with officials from Rhodes College, where a group of students was overseeing the mural, which portrays a diverse group of the city’s residents, arguing that they might as well have painted a black child eating a watermelon . . .

So Mr. Grant got hisself fahr'd up and made some angry phone calls . . . only to find out it was a portrait of a real person.

Mr. Grant said, “I thought it was an artist’s rendition of what he thought an African-American in Memphis should look like.” Instead, he said, “This is a real live beautiful African-American woman.”

By the time the 152-foot-by-58-foot mural was unveiled Sunday, Mr. Grant and his allies had become supporters. The lesson, he said, lay in taking the time to talk and listen. “This will help to heal some of the wounds that we’ve had all the way back to the ’50s and ’60s,” he said.

No, it won't. And you still look like a fool all the same for getting upset over a gold tooth. Actually, the muralist's name is Jeff Zimmerman. Now, I am going to go out on a limb here, but I am guessing that Mr. Zimmerman is White. And what got Mr. Grant really fired up was that a White man painted a Black woman with . . . a gold tooth. Dang, might as well put the red bandana on her head, too, or have a child eating wa . . . well, you know.

But going back to Mr. Grant's initial complaint, about Al Sharpton and he trying to tell the young people to take the gold teeth out, assuming someone might not know this is a portrait of an actual person, doesn't his complaint still hold water? Why doesn't he lecture Savannah Simmons - the woman who allowed her image, complete with a gold tooth, to be used - about presenting a more inspiring image to those young people walkin' around with their britches drooping?

You know, maybe I am jumping to conclusions. Maybe this is not about ire at a White man's depiction of a Black woman. Maybe this is part of the new era of Obama . . . Sharpton is trying to clean up the "Black image" - and you just can't have anything "ghetto" anymore.

Oh, Ms. Simmons, 80, had her reason for her gold tooth:

Indeed, it would be a mistake to assume that Ms. Simmons’s own gold tooth had anything to do with fashion. When she got dentures, she asked her dentist to add a gold tooth in memory of her father, who had one in the same location.

Dumb Basterds

I am a native New Yorker. I wasn't there on 9/11, but I know plenty of people who were. And stuff like this makes me f***ing pissed.

A White House official apologized Monday after a low-flying Boeing 747 spotted above the Manhattan skyline frightened workers and residents into evacuating buildings.

The huge aircraft, which functions as Air Force One when the president is aboard, was taking part in a classified, government-sanctioned photo shoot, the Federal Aviation Administration said.

Frightened workers? Watch this video.

Yeah, a**wipes, this sort of thing frightens people . . . especially those folks in lower Manhattan. Because, you see, not everyone has forgotten . . .

I got nervous watching this.

At least two people were treated for minor injuries at Jersey City Medical Center after falling during the rush to exit their buildings.

"Everybody panicked," said Daisy Cooper, a Merrill Lynch worker in Jersey City, who lost a nephew on 9/11. "Everybody was screaming and we all ran downstairs. I'm devastated...Everybody was running, we didn't know why we were running. We just knew it was a plane, there we go, 9/11 again."

But He Can Probably Identify the "Celebrities" on TMZ

A student attending Indian River State College in Fort Pierce, Florida just informed me that he just took a final exam for his Introduction to Computer Applications for Business course a little over an hour ago. There were 27 questions on the exam, two of which were "bonus questions."

He showed me his test online after the fact. The first of the two bonus questions asked the instructor's last name. Fair enough. But the second bonus question was religious in nature. It follows:

Bonus Question 02 - What Book in the Bible describes the End Times (i.e. The Seven Seals, Tribulation, Armageddon, etc.)?

A. Revelations
B. Joshua
C. Galatians
D. Leviticus
E. Genesus [sic]
F. Exodus
G. Matthew

Although this was a bonus question, it provides an unfair disadvantage to those students who are not of a religion where they might have been exposed to the Bible or to those who are not religious at all.

Idiot probably also doesn't get the joke, "Donner Party - table for 40 . . ."

No, I'm sorry - the Book of Revelations is a common reference in Western culture. Maybe his beef should be with the public school who failed to teach him at the grade and high school level.

Mormons to Catholics: "Told You So . . . That's Why You Gotta Card Them!"

How do you film a movie set largely in the Vatican when the Holy See itself has banned you from shooting within its walls? If you are the producers of Angels and Demons, the prequel to the church-baiting worldwide blockbuster The Da Vinci Code, you send in cameramen posing as tourists to take more than 250,000 photographs and shoot hours of video footage.

Angels and Demons director Ron Howard hinted in an interview in December on US TV show Shootout that his team had been forced into unusual measures by the ban. "We didn't shoot at the Vatican officially. But cameras can be made really small," he said.

Isn't there still an application of copyright law for using an image for profit?

BTW, Ron . . . you know Lupe, that woman who filled in last week for Maria, your usual cleaning lady? You know, cameras can be made really small . . .

And I know the movie will suck - because the book did.

Don't We All Die From Extreme Shortness of Breath?

The outbreak of swine flu should be renamed "Mexican" influenza in deference to Muslim and Jewish sensitivities over pork, said an Israeli health official Monday.

Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman said the reference to pigs is offensive to both religions and "we should call this Mexican flu and not swine flu," he told a news conference at a hospital in central Israel.

In other news, the Black Death has been revised in history books to be called "That Real Suck Ass Time When Two-Thirds of Europe Up and Died Vomiting Bile as Dark as Night" out of deference to Barack Obama (because PETA objected to calling it "rat flu" out of deference to captive laboratory animals).

Besides, we all know Bush is to blame . . .

Gran Turino

Day 5 of Project 365

April 26, 2009

Floral Park Home & Garden Tour

in Santa Ana, CA

Blasphemy

"The Truth" by Painter Michael D'Antuono which will be unveiled on President Obama's 100th Day in Office at NYC's Union Square.

There are some here for whom this image would incite nausea.

Others, outrage.

Some . . . violence.

I'll try to offer prayers.

Cheers

Always remember to tip the bartender . . .

Thank You, Mom and Dad

I was born today, forty-eight years ago. It is proper, I think, to give thanks to the two people who made that event possible and who taught me the lessons I needed to give me the fortitude to make it to today.

I have heard horrible, terrible stories about friends' childhoods and the lack of loving parents, or, at least, parents who let their own demons take over the love they had for their children and led them to make lasting mistakes. I hear these stories and I think about the generosity of heart that my parents had. They were fine and good folk.

To Francis Xavier Martin and Dorothy Leona Koretzky - I love you both, I miss you both, and I am so grateful to be your daughter. Thank you.

Boy and Doggeh

Floral Park Home & Garden Tour

Santa Ana, CA

Aril 25, 2009

Tool Boy

" . . . When even Jesus was alive he was persecuted, and now he is worshipped by millions who understand the impact he had on the world”. I know that with my talent, drive, and looks, I will make a similar impact in the entertainment industry, and I also believe that there are millions of people who would trade seats with me tomorrow. I have the opportunity to make movies and TV shows, and how many people can say they live their dream for a living, and are becoming stars in the process. I wake up every day knowing that what I do affects the public and I will make a difference in their lives, and have the most amazing time doing it.

Quite possibly, the biggest self-absorbed and clueless ego in the world . . .

What's funny is his "Kade Scale" for rating women. As an example:

7-Above average, keep as a friend
She may be cute and somewhat sexy, but not someone that I would date on a regular scale. Many 7’s will come off fake and not genuine because they realize they aren’t as good as the top tier, and this makes them even less attractive because they act like they are trying too hard. They can have just as many “bad days” as “good days”, and they lack sexuality and consistency.

Example: Charlize Theron, Jessica Biel, Kerry Washington, Cameron Diaz, Bar Refaeli, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Beyonce, Julia Roberts, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez

6 and under-Don’t bother
Not worth listing or discussing. Not even friend or date worthy.

What a tool.

RIP, Chuck

You can't make this stuff up . . .

Dimmick, Chuck P.

Born December 29, 1958 in Riverside, CA passed away suddenly on April 18, 2009 while attending a NASCAR race to watch his favorite driver, Jeff Gordon. Chuck was the loving husband of Kristen and devoted father of Dillon. Chuck was the Director of Marketing for the Lund Cadillac Group. We are sure he would still want all to know that 0.9% financing is still available on all New 2008 Hummer H2's. A mass celebrating Chuck's life will be held at 11:00 AM on Friday, April 24th at St. Patrick's Church - 10815 N. 84th St. Scottsdale, AZ. Arrangements handled by Hansen Desert Hill Mortuary 480-991-5800. In Lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the Dillon Dimmick Donation Fund at any Bank of America.

I especially like this tribute:

Chuck was a man of the highest Dodge Caliber. He was built Ford tough and Like a Rock he was strong as he could be. He was never out of his Honda Element. His Buick Regal demeanor only punctuated the pleasant Pontiac Vibe you felt around him. He was very Chevy Cavalier and sold cars with such Plymouth Fury. Customers said listening to him sell the car was like hearing a Hyundai Sonata.I remember one time when Chuck and I were over in Hyundai Santa Fe at this Ford Fiesta back in Oldsmobile 88, we were on Buick Park Avenue, standing under this Dodge Neon sign looking up at the Saturn Sky and, like a Rolls-Royce Phantom, out of the Dodge Shadow, came a Mercury Cougar. Quick as a Ford Ranger Chuck drew his Chevy Beretta and shot it. I said Chuck you are a true Isuzu Hombre and he replied well you are a hell of a Suzuki Sidekick.

I will deeply miss him.
~
Hollywood Cole,
Austin, Texas

Damons and Angles

I am producing a movie on Ron Howards family. In the movie based on my research I say his father was a drug pusher and his mother is a prostitute and that Ron Howard engages in S&M. All of the portrayal of Ron Howard and his family in my movie and the prequel I am doing later will be highly negative. I will present the Howard family as something totally based on lies and question whether his parents really were his parents in the first place. I will also attack his fans for being foolish enough to be a fan of him considering his background. My hero will follow clues that prove this evidence.

Excellent satire from The Curt Jester - go read the rest!

The Ghost of Edwards-Swift & Associates - Part 2

And now it is time to finish the story started below.

So the story of Henry the Ghost went around the office. Everyone had something to say, having always complained about "noises" while working late. It is an office of women, with one man, and so stories like this cause excitement.

But some months went by and occasionally Henry was mentioned. I personally talked to him if I was in the office alone. In fact, one evening when I was the last to leave, shortly after I was there with Patrick, I called out into the dark building, "Good night, Henry! See you in the morning?"

From within, I heard the sound of what seemed to be a binder clip or a pen thrown against the wall.

"Right then," I said. "See you tomorrow!" Then I threw the alarm and locked the back door.

Threw the alarm. We each have a unique code that is used to activate and deactivate the alarm. Our security company can tell who comes into the office and when, as well as when they leave. Inside the office are motion detectors that, if triggered, sound the alarm.

But there are no detectors in the lobby.

On Wednesday at lunch, J., our receptionist, spoke about how she was beginning to think there was no afterlife. The conversation flowed, naturally, to the topic that has convinced many that there is an afterlife - ghosts.

I was seated in our kitchen with L. and M., two paralegals. We all recounted our own stories and then I said, "Don't forget about Henry." L. said, "Oh, he was here last week, when I was working late."

L. was at her desk, alone and after hours, when she needed to get up to go to the copy room. As she approached the divider between M.'s work area and S.'s work area, she distinctively heard the sound of typing coming from S.'s keyboard - loud enough for her to inversitagte before going to the copy room. She went around the divider and saw S.'s keyboard sitting on the side of the U-shaped work area, and the chair facing it. What struck L. as being unusual is that S. places her keyboard directly in front of her computer, with the chair facing it as well, and pulled in. The computer is in the middle of this U-shaped work area. Perhaps L. had mistakenly heard something and maybe S. had simply left that day in a hurry. But L. thought it was Henry.

"That gives me the chills!" J. said. "I don't like it!"

M. admonished her. "Patrick said Henry was friendly, so I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"That's right, " I said. "Henry might have some fun but I don't think he means any harm."

The day progressed and L. worked late again, leaving just before 7:00 p.m., activating the alarm. Before L. left, K., another paralegal, left via the front door, locking it as she left. The next morning, just before 8:00 a.m., M. arrived and used her code to deactivate the alarm, with L coming in shortly after her. But both L. and M. used the back door.

That morning, J. - the receptionist who had expressed her fears - unlocked the front door and came through there, seeing the cars of the other women and knowing they had deactivated the alarm. That's when she found the chair, as seen above, placed before the sliding glass window where she greets the clients as they come in.

J. thought someone had been working late and went to the front door without realizing that in closing the door separating the lobby from the rest of the office, they had locked themelves out. That would leave them with the recourse of climbing through the sliding glass window onto J.'s desk, which is immediately on the other side.

J. questioned all of us. No one said they had done that. By then, I had arrived and asked J. if she touched the chair. When she said no, I took a picture of it, where it sat. That's the photograph above.

Here is what we determined:

• Boss Lady called the security company, who verified from the security codes used that L. was the last to leave the night before at 6:48 p.m. and M. was the first to arrive that morning.
• K. had not seen the chair in that position when she left through the lobby the night before. We recreated her leaving and, in fact, she would have run into the chair if it had been there.
• Look at the picture - if someone had placed the chair there to climb through the window, wouldn't they have placed the back of the chair against the ledge of the window, to better brace it?
• Nothing was disturbed on J.'s desk and if someone had climbed in, given the very small space of the window, the little silver summoning bell, that you can see in the picture, would have been pushed aside.
• No motion detectors in the lobby would mean if the chair was moved after L. left and threw the alarm, it would not trigger any alarm.

We all agreed - Henry just wanted us to know he was listening. Especially J., the receptionist.

Do you believe?

These offices are fairly new, but built on old ranching and farming land in Chino Hills. We have even had the offices blessed (by our "chaplain," Fr. John). Maybe Henry is an old cowhand from the days of the rancheros in the area, who perhaps being all or partly Latino was a Catholic - and enjoys the drama of a family law office. As I have said, I don't sense any malevolence and frankly, I like having a bit of added protection.

Do you believe?

Peering Intro North Korea

Even with all this attention, photographs from North Korea are still restricted and hard to come by. One way around that has been for photographers to peer inside from across the border, a pastime that has also spurred a level of curious tourism in both neighboring South Korea and China.

Fascinating collection of photographs. Go and see.

Merci a le Canuck for cettes photographes.

Obscure Music Friday

(Click here to hear the song)

Song: My Lovely Horse

Artists: Fr. Ted Crilly and Fr. Dougal McGuire

Why I Love This Song: It is an outstanding example of the very best of what I call "Europop," that insipid, yet catchy, pop music that is written for European song contests. And written by two Irish priests - why can't our American ones be that talented?

My Own Personal 365 Project

Day 2 - 4/23/09 - Katherine's freckles

The Canuck, the wonderful spouse of The Clam (I actually know these people's names, but we all have two personae - our blog persona and our true identities on Facebook, and etiquette dictates that when you're in one digital sphere, ya gotta use the right name), started his own 365 Project - take a picture, every day, for a year. And post that picture each day.

Now, let me just say - The Canuck's stuff is gooooood! He has a great eye and then does funky post-processing that I am going to steal from him as soon as he teaches me how to do it (are you listening, son?). Go check it out and tell me the guy isn't une artiste, comme ils disent.

But - it has inspired me and so I started the same. It's only Day Two but I invite you to follow each day. Better still, start your own - and let me know about it! I get a kick out of seeing (a) other parts of the worlds where (b) my friends live.

Also, I like a challenge, so feel free to say, "Hey, lady! Try this - today you have to post something in black-and-white!" or "Feet! Today the topic is feet!" Feel free to give me ideas.

Taking a picture a day is not all that hard, even if it is only to catch a shot of your feet in the shower, what you're eating for lunch, who's walking past your window, etc. It will interesting to look back as time progresses and watch a year unfold.

The Ghost of Edwards-Swift & Associates - Part 1

This chair is in the lobby of our offices where I work. And there is a story behind it. But before I get to the chair, let me tell you something about children.

It is said that children are very aware of things, including things that not always make themselves aware to all. I speak, of course, of ghosts, or spirits, or whatever you may call them.

One such child I bore . . . my son, Patrick. As an example, we once had a strange incident on the Queen Mary, that famed, old ship docked in Long Beach, CA and said to be very, very haunted.

Patrick, his sister, and I were touring the ship and were in the back in the Isolation Ward, where sick passengers were kept in passage. Now, you might expect this area to be naturally spooky, but it is not - in fact, it's well-lit and open to the sea air, because it was believed that sick people needed the fresh air and sunshine to recover. While in one of the rooms, Patrick became visibly agitated. When I asked him what was wrong, he said to me, "Mom, we need to leave - there's a man in here and he's telling me he doesn't want us here." We skedaddled out and afterward Patrick described the man to me - and his description fit what a typical hospital orderly would have looked like during the 1920's. Later, Patrick also told me about other ghosts he encountered on the ship, including a child who, Patrick said, was "happy to see him." Indeed.

Let's go to my office now, shall we?

A couple of months ago, I spent a Sunday afternoon at Disneyland. I knew that the next day I had to work from home, so I swung by the office to pick up some files. Patrick and I were together, and no one else.

It is a little creepy walking into an office after hours. It's dark and even after you put on the lights, the lack of activity is noticeable. Such as it was when Patrick and I were there. We went to my office and I told my son I had to check a few emails and then we would leave.

Patrick wandered out my office and to the "kid's room," a soundproof play room off of the conference room were clients can have their children while they meet with us. Patrick likes that room because of the video game set up there. A few seconds later, he came back to my office and told me that he wanted to play in the same room as me. While I worked, Patrick fiddled around with his Transformer toy, and suddenly asked, "Mom, did you hear that?"

I stopped and listened. "No, Moe [my nickname for Patrick]. I don't hear anything." I listened again. "What am I listening for?" I asked.

Patrick answered, "I hear someone walking around out there."

"Outside the building?"

"No, Mom - in the office."

I listened some more and said, "Honey, I can;t hear anything. I'll finish up here and then we'll go."

I worked a short time and true to my word, we packed up and left. In leaving, Patrick said, "Mom, I like coming here better in the daytime, when there are people around." I didn't think anything of it, but driving home I asked, "Patrick, was there something bothering you in my office."

Patrick answered from the back seat. "Yeah, Mom."

"Patrick, was there a ghost in my office?"

"Yeah."

Ooookay. "Was it a man or a woman?"

"A man."

"An old man?"

Patrick thought for a moment. "He was grown-up, but he wasn't like a real old man."

"Where was he?"

"In your office with us."

Now I was getting chills. "Was he doing anything?"

Patrick brightened up. "Yeah - he patted me on the back and told me I was a good boy for helping my Mom."

"He said that?"

"Well, I could hear it in my mind, Mom."

I had to ask. "Did he tell you his name?"

Patrick answered right away. "Oh yeah, he said it's Henry."

Stay tuned . . .

Scientologists Are Aliens

Just some weird crap to start the day . . .

John Paul II, Gone Fishin'

The Italian newspaper, Il Giornale, is publishing never before seen photographs of Pope John Paul II.

One of the photos shows Karol Wojtyla, then the archbishop of Krakow, wearing a T-shirt, shorts and a red bandana scarf. An enormous fish is lying at his feet. Another photo depicts Wojtyla having a meal in front of his tent.

The photos were taken during a summer trip that the future pope took with his friends from the university. They slept in tents, went kayaking, fishing, contemplated nature and discussed such issues as love, responsibility and morality.

Seems the photographs will be used in an upcoming book on marriage. I am so buying it . . . I like to remember His Holiness as the vibrant and strong young man that he was.

Answer the Question, Madam Secretary

One comment over at my favorite blog snarked that she should know all about unreliable people since she's married to one.

MuniPorn

The Stonewall Library and Archives, a collection of gay-themed materials that was the subject of political controversy two years ago, celebrates its grand opening in Fort Lauderdale on Thursday.

The library collection has moved from the Gay and Lesbian Community Center, which is slated to be torn down for development, into a city-owned building at 1300 Sunrise Blvd. The new site, which the library moved into in January, is also home to a small county branch library and ArtServe.

Library visitors must be 18 to access the circulating materials, which include ''nothing you are not going to see at Barnes & Noble and Amazon. It's all gay-themed, nothing remotely objectionable,'' Rutland said.

Access to some of the adult research material is strictly monitored and requires signing up in advance to view it and explaining the purpose of viewing it.

''It's a very long and byzantine process to get into the research archives,'' Rutland said.

Fatherhood

A California man has signed papers to symbolically adopt and give his last name to his wife's two aborted children.

Stan Musil said he filed the posthumous "adoption" on Monday as a way to support his wife, Lisa, and help her heal from the pain of having those abortions, Lisa Musil told FOXNews.com.

"He told me 'I love you and you are a part of me. Your babies are a part of you, and so that makes them a part of me also,'" she said.

The wife had her abortions long before she met her husband, but when she was planning a memorial to help her cope with these abortions and wondered what she should use as a surname for her lost children, her husband asked if he could adopt them so they could carry his name.

Legally, cannot be done - but a lawyer drafted an agreement for the couple and its symbolism is what is important to them.

This man now has two champions to intercede on his and their mother's behalf. And he deserves that.

'Cause Abstinence Doesn't Work

“A fast-food restaurant on the corner can have a terrible impact on a child’s life,” he said. “Obesity, diabetes, hypertension — it’s a step toward a less healthy life.”

Unless the little darlings are into larceny, who is giving them the money to purchase the fast food?

It occurs to me that when a NYC councilman proposes legislation that would ban a fast food restaurant within a 1/10 of a mile from a school, because a study found that kids tend to be fatter when such a place is within a block of their school, we really have abdicated personal responsibility and the responsibility of parents.

Mind you, the study found that "[i]f a fast-food restaurant opened a quarter-mile or more from a school, obesity rates were not affected."

What this tells me is that our kids are too lazy to walk that extra block to get fat.

But who am I to say? I shall defer to the experts, who clearly have a greater insight than me when they can conclude:

If a child has visible belly fat, Ms. Roth said, the child is probably overweight.

Maybe stupidity breeds obesity.

A personal anecdote: I stopped one late afternoon for a cup of coffee at the McDonald's in Dalton, Tennessee. As I gave my order, I suddenly realized what was different than the McDonald's at home - instead of Hispanic adults working there, they were all local teens, earning some pocket money during their summer vacation. And in thinking back, I don't believe any one of them was obese. Made me harken back to the summer between my junior and senior years of high school, when I was a short order cook at a local luncheonette run by an irascible Greek. Lost about 15 pounds that summer, waking each weekday morning to be at work by 5:00 am and go until about 2:00 p.m. with no break, except if the crowds thinned out.

Happy Earth Day

It's Earth Day!

In celebration, today we shopuld all do our part to conserve energy, recycle goods, and reduce our carbon footprint on this planet that we all share. We can start by using public transportation today instead of driving, or better still, walking or biking. We can encourage self-sustenance by planting our own gardens and staying home to tend to them, just as our agrarian ancestors did. In fact, that should really be the catch phrase of the day - stay home. Clean the area around your home, make sure trash doesn't mar your local public park or green space, support local businesses and reduce the dependence on fossil fuels.

In related news, Obama is heading out from Washington DC to Iowa for Earth Day.

It's the Economy, Baby . . .

The recession has reached the German sex industry, with many brothels offering specials to keep business pumping, daily Süddeutsche Zeitung reported on Friday.

Flat fees and two-for-one deals often include free snacks for tightwad johns.

“The market is dead anyway,” he told the paper. “When a student can get laid for €20 and get the whole shebang, prices are just tanking completely.”

Wait, is it just chips and salsa, or are they getting them little pigs-in-a-blanket? I mean, if it's hot food, it seems to be to be a pretty good deal. Especially if they also offer free refills.

On the other hand, some gals are getting the best sleep they've had in years . . .

(It's amazing, the things I find funny . . .)

Judge Judy v. Perez Hilton

click here fo' mo' larfs!

Hair Apparent

White House stylista-in-training? Malia Obama is already showing off her stylish side with her array of hairstyles. Take a look at the 10-year-old's latest styles and the other fashions of the First Kids.

She wears it up! Then she puts it in a ponytail! Some days she has braids!

Malia tried out a a sleek, side-part ponytail for Bo's coming out party on the South Lawn of the White House last week...

Oh God . . .

It's No Hymietown, At Least

The Rev. Jesse Jackson has offered to travel to Iran to help release a jailed Iranian-American journalist who was recently convicted of spying.

"If our voices are heard in Iran today, I would be anxious to travel with a delegation to Iran, if we are permitted, and make an appeal for her freedom," said the longtime civil rights activist, according to his Rainbow PUSH Coalition. Jackson, 67, was speaking Tuesday at a peace conference in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Oh, Lawdy, any chance they keep him?

Actually, Jesse has had success at this before, so I say, go for it. After all, it's not like Obama has offered him any job here.

Miss Integrity - Part II

This happened for a reason. By having to answer that question in front of a national audience, God was testing my character and faith. I'm glad I stayed true to myself.

Meanwhile, this gem from Perez Hilton:

"I was floored," Hilton told ABCNews.com Monday. "I haven't said this before, but to her credit, I applaud her for her honesty. However, she is not a politician, she's a hopeful Miss USA. Miss USA should represent everyone. Her answer alienated millions of gay and lesbian Americans, their families and their supporters."

And politicians shouldn't do the same? Or is it only special interests? You're backpedaling, because you cam out looking like a horse's ass in all this.

Lord, Keep Us From a New Crop of Martyrs

Father Manuel Corral, a spokesman for the Mexican Bishops Conference, said Monday that priests in eight Mexican states have been threatened with harm or death, presumably by drug traffickers. Although the threats are anonymous, he said, most come via missives and third-party go-betweens when priests have attempted to turn members of their parishes away from the traffickers and use of drugs.

"It's always when the priests denounce violence, injustice and crime, or when we try to get our people to leave the narco-menudeo," or drug street sales, Corral said in an interview. A small number of priests have had to be transferred from their churches because of threats, but most traffickers remain discreet.

The Mexican Constitution of 1917 - a year that also saw the Russian Revolution and the bloody rise of Bolshevikism - basically outlawed the Catholic Church in that country, and it is a testament to the Holy Spirit that so many Mexicans remain devout to their faith.

The 1920's and 1930's saw persecution of priests in Mexico, akin to the Elizabethan times of England, when merely being an ordained priest brought about a sentence of detah.

Likely the best known martyr in Mexico was the Jesuit Bl. Miguel Pro (1891-1927). He was known for his wit and his ability to speak of sacramental subjects with great erudition and interest. He went "underground," secretly administering the Sacraments, until his arrest. At his execution before a firing squad, he outstretched his arms in the style of a Crucifix and shouted, "Viva Cristo Rey!" before the bullets silenced him.

What do we see today? There is little difference between the thugs of Presidente Calles in the 1920's and the leaders of the drug cartels. No one is safe. The boundaries set by civility are destroyed. When women are killed and children are recruited, do not expect a priest to be safe. Or a nun, for that matter.

Blessed Migiel Pro, pray for those religious who strive to bring the Gospel to mexico, that they be kept safe from harm's way or be given the martyr's courage to suffer for Christ. Pray, too, as you did on Earth, for their killers that they might repent and be spared the fires of Hell. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen. (+)

Pew Gotta See This

Today started the Pew Project as part of the ongoing Restoration Project for St. Joseph Church. It's a lovely old church, built in 1947 in the English Gothic style. But lovely old churches mean expensive upkeep and so the pews are being restored, and the tiled floors upon which they sit replaced - a lot of the tiles had holes worn into them from years of the kneeler stop hitting it in the same place.

Later this week, rented chairs are coming to act as a temporary fix while all of the pews are restored.

Kudos to Our Beloved Pastor who wrangled a deal with the pew restoration company to not only restore the pews, but also replace the kneelers and the Missal holders on the backs of the pews.

Hopefully, all will be completed by early July. Keep us in your prayers.

Miss Integrity

Miss California is not backing down from the answer regarding gay marriage she gave on Sunday night's Miss USA telecast.

Carrie Prejean told FOXNews.com that she had "no regrets" and was happy with the answer she gave when a Miss USA judge, the gossip blogger Perez Hilton, asked about her stance on same-sex marriage.

"I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman," she said on the live broadcast. "No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."

First of all, why in hell do they have Perez Hilton judging a beauty contest? He's naught but a campy little bitch of a troll who made his "mark" on Hollywood throuhg insults, innuendos, and the inane belief that people actually find him to be relevant.

Blogger Perez Hilton was also enraged, calling Prejean a "stuipd b***h" in a video tirade he aired on his blog.

Mmm, what class. What he did not like, I suspect, is a straightforward answer that refused to pander to his own beliefs.

Needless to say, Ms. Prejean did not win the crown.

"It did cost me my crown," Prejean continued. "It is a very touchy subject and [Hilton] is a homosexual, and I see where he was coming from and I see the audience would've wanted me to be more politically correct. But I was raised in a way that you can never compromise your beliefs and your opinions for anything."

"I feel like I won," she said. "I feel like I'm the winner. I really do."

You did win, sweetheart. I am not a fan of beauty pageants, but I am proud that you are representing my state.

Meat and Potatoes

Bakon Vodka is a superior quality potato vodka with a savory bacon flavor. It’s clean, crisp, and delicious. This is the only vodka you’ll ever want to use to make a Bloody Mary, and it's a complementary element of both sweet and savory drinks.

You know what? I want to try this. I have often said, there a few recipes that adding some bacon to can't make better. And a Bloody Mary with a subtle bacon flavor sounds good. Or using it as flavoring in cooking, maybe chicken.

Right now it's only available in Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana. Is there anyone up there who will get me a bottle?

Let's Hope They Never Get Together in Person

Just to Kickstart the Heart on a Monday Morning

Why Hollywood scares me. Last night I was watching The Trouble With Angels with Rosalind Russell. Why can't we have more movies like that? I felt great afterwards.

All That Glitters

I don't know what is more disturbing - what it says about the President or what it suggests about our society and the cult of celebrity that abounds.

There once was a time when a certain office or person was admired, and did not have to be a rock star. It is odd, but I find myself when I read such stories about the Obamas thinking more about Tiger Woods and the classy way he conducts himself and his personal life, despite his staggering personal achievements in his relatively short lifetime.

Like a reality show set on the glorified soundstage at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., the details of one family's life have captivated the country -- if not the world -- making the Obamas seem within reach, an ordinary family that just happens to be living an extraordinary existence.

But these glimpses into the Obama household are far from spontaneous. Instead, they are part of a careful strategy that has helped bolster the new president's popularity and political clout -- even as he promotes some economic policies, such as bailouts for banks and automakers, that lack broad appeal.

The White House, eager to cultivate an image-making media machinery that thrives on personality, has invited coverage from such outlets as television's "Access Hollywood" and "Extra." Aides dole out exclusives accordingly, acutely aware of the shelf life for cover stories in glamour and celebrity magazines.

Administration officials have even weighed the economics of paparazzi photography, strategically releasing images of the family to diminish the monetary value of unauthorized pictures and give the White House control over how the family is portrayed. In return for access, celebrity news outlets must refuse to publish unauthorized pictures -- or risk being cut off by the White House.

We Never Should Have Made the Tomato a Vegetable

Because it's not, you know - it's a fruit. However, In the US Supreme Court case, Nix v. Hedden, for purposes of classifying the item under the Tariff Act of 1883, the Court declared it to be a vegetable - nature be damned - so it could be taxed. No surprise there - the Court was bound to come down on the side of the government needing its revenue.

The Environmental Protection Agency's decision to classify rising carbon-dioxide emissions as a hazard to human health is the latest twist in a debate that has raged for decades among politicians, scientists and industry: whether a natural component of the earth's atmosphere should be considered a pollutant.

The EPA's finding doesn't say carbon dioxide, or CO2, is by itself a pollutant -- it is, after all, a gas that humans exhale and plants inhale. Rather, it is the increasing concentrations of the gas that concern the agency.

However, the EPA ruled that today's higher concentrations are the "unambiguous result of human emissions." Concentrations of carbon dioxide and other gases "are well above the natural range of atmospheric concentrations compared to the last 650,000 years," the agency said.

Carbon-dioxide levels in the Earth's atmosphere have fluctuated wildly for millennia; at one point billions of years ago, it was the dominant gas in the atmosphere.

Up in Smoke

Each year on April 20th, at 4:20pm, people celebrate and smoke cannabis together. One of the biggest gathering spots in California, perhaps the biggest, is Porter Meadow at UC Santa Cruz. It's a large event for the whole community - a place where thousands of people can have a picnic, play with musical instruments, frisbees, kites, you name it, and just have fun. It's in a safe and relatively secluded location and problems are rare.

Aw, but someone always has to stop the party . . .

In an April 7th, 2009 message to students, UCSC's Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs writes that Four Twenty "diminishes UCSC’s reputation and draws negative attention to the campus" and then goes on to list numerous restrictions curtailing the ability for students to associate with their friends and move freely around campus. Students are vowing to defy UCSC's “no-guest” policy, while pointing out that UCSC is an open and public campus.

I am of the opinion that pot should be legalized. Having said that, however, as it is illegal, I'd be pissed as all hell if my kid was at UC Santa Cruz - home of the Banana Slugs (yes, that is its mascot, so y'all can stop making fun of 'Eaters) - and this is what my generous subsidy was paying him or her to do.

Oh wait - I'm a California tax payer. I am subsidizing this tomfoolery. Hey, ya little wannabe anarchist dipshit who thinks he/she is the next leftist vegan transgender Che Guevara, do it on your own dime!

Job Security - NYT Weddings & Celebrations

I have been too busy in the last couple of weeks to fisk a New York Times wedding announcement, but you know, spare the snark and spoil the bride, is what I always say. So I checked out this week's and was delighted to read about Biff and Muffie, also known as . . .

Christina Matthews and Benjamin Macfarland III

Okay, right away I feel sorry for the bride when there are Roman numerals involved, because you know likely there is an expectation by Clan Macfarland for her to produce numero IV. Some people dream of having children, others aspire to have progeny.

BENJAMIN MACFARLAND III spent years dating women who had little interest in anything beyond sunbathing, horseback riding and going to clubs — an attitude that was far from unusual in Palm Beach, Fla., where his family has lived for four generations.

Y'know, in family law, we often say, well, Cinderella doesn't marry Frankenstein, which is a twist on the old "birds of a feather" adage. I am curious to know what Benjamin's interests were during those spent years. And whether he had a copy of Can I Buy You a Drink?: a Guide to the Women of Palm Beach by William Kennedy Smith.

As a young man about town, Mr. Macfarland dated young women who approached him at social events, but no one seriously interested him.

Knew it. "Social events" - is that what they're calling Ladies Night at the clubs these days?

Time now for a background check:

Mr. Macfarland, a great-great-grandson of Ben Shibe, who, along with Connie Mack, was among the founders of the Philadelphia Athletics baseball team.

Given his own roots, he already knew that Ms. Matthews was a descendant of Henry Morrison Flagler, a founder of Standard Oil and master builder of Florida’s east coast.

Now available on paperback - Will The Children Need the Family Endowment to Get Them Into Harvard?: a Breeding Guide for America's White Elite, by Mario Cuomo and Ethel Kennedy.

They spent the evening talking about her plans (she was thinking of returning to Palm Beach) and he said that he saw in her someone who was “outspoken with a deeper insight into life than other women.”

But the last thing she wanted was a new boyfriend. She had been trying to get out of a relationship in New York.

In addition, Ms. Matthews said she had come to realize she had “no direction,” having seen earlier aspirations of careers in teaching or law go nowhere. “New York City can be brutal if you don’t know what you want,” she said. “I was completely lost and miserable.”

Deeper insight . . . lost and miserable . . . wait, what? Christina, aged 26, seems to be suffering from a panic born in Ivy League sororities - what is no one marries me and I have to go to work? Teaching - "because I have always just adored children!" - seems to be the aspiration of a lot of gals working on their MRS degrees at college. That and "Child Psychology." Unfortunately, when things don't pan out or they realize the pay sucks, to redeem their self-worth they start making noise about "going to law school." Trust me, there were a lot of folks in law school who were there "by default," i.e., couldn't find a job and did not want to be thought of as a loser.

Of course, I am curious to know what is in it for Benjamin.

That night she and Mr. Macfarland drew close over dinner at her parents’ house, surrounded by 10 good friends. The party then continued at Whitehall, the old Flagler mansion and now the Flagler Museum, where the couple discovered they had the same sarcastic sense of humor, inherited from their fathers.

“Christina is lots of fun, yet can be shy,” said Tiffany Marks, a friend of Ms. Matthews. “But Benny has such charisma that he pulls her out of her shell.”

After the party, they went out to lunch and dinner, attended charity functions and really seemed to click over a shared interest in movies, bike riding and walking along the beach.

“Ben was a take-charge kind of guy who had so many business and philanthropic interests,” Ms. Matthews said. “It was intoxicating.”

Details . . . the speed limit in Disneyland parking lots is 14 miles per hour and Christina and Ben were surrounded by 10 good friends. Plus, doesn't everyone in Palm Beach have a shared interest in walking along the beach because to walk anywhere, inevitably you find yourself walking along the beach?

Okay, call me a cynic (already I can hear the catcalls: Steph, you're a cynic!), but would you be too if I tell you that earlier in this article . . .

Mr. Macfarland, 28, who had started a valet parking business while a student at Florida State University and three years ago opened a Palm Beach real estate firm bearing his name . . .

Hmmm . . . lousy market. Shy gal. Loaded family. Lots more "business and philanthropic interests" to finance (gosh, sweetie, I feel exactly the same about Angolan orphans and the suffering they endure from tsetse flies - I would love to start a charity to bring them DDT someday . . . what? Oh no, I'm just an average guy - who wouldn't want to help them?). Me thinkum Seminole speak with forked tongue (Gator fans are nodding).

Now this is sad, and I am not making fun of this, but Christina lost her brother later that year. That is a tragedy. But there are some who might turn a tragedy into an opportunity.

Mr. Macfarland was one of the first people she called. “I understood what she was going through and was there for her,” he said.

“Ben brought me an obit about his father, comforted me during teary nights and helped me follow my instincts,” she said.

He said that during the next few weeks he also “encouraged her to move forward and try new things,” and she began thinking about a career in nonprofit work.

Yet her parents, Jean and Will Matthews, had misgivings about her growing attachment to Mr. Macfarland. They “discouraged the relationship because I was grieving,” she recalled. “They said this is no time to fall in love.”

I am going to wager that Christina's parents were more worried about Ben's interest in philanthropy and encouraging Christina's career in "non-profit work" - and that it might turn out to be his own non-profit. It wasn't about "falling in love" during a grieving period, I can tell you that. And why?

Her father said, “I told her time was on her side, and she should not get into a serious relationship or make any major decisions while she is grieving.”

To assuage their anxiety, she went out with someone else, which caused tension between her and Mr. Macfarland.

If her parents' anxiety was assuaged by her going out with someone else, I betcha it was someone of whom they approved, that is, someone who is "not Benjamin."

And what did Benjy do?

“When I heard she had kissed someone else, I asked if she wanted to be exclusive or not,” he said.

“During Easter weekend we became a real couple,” he added. “I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.”

And Ma and Pa Matthews did what every couple does seeing their anxieties realized . . . drink.

And when they became engaged last June, her father said that it was wonderful and brought out Champagne.

“When my mom and dad saw us cooking dinner in the kitchen, they got how we enjoy being together and understand the importance of family and coexisting,” said Ms. Matthews, who plans to go to graduate school in the fall and is now doing fund-raising for the Lord’s Place, a charity that helps homeless people in Palm Beach County.

Mr. and Mrs. Matthews, I bet, brought an extra bottle of it with them to bed that night. Interestingly enough, the Matthews announced the engagement only this past January 31st, in the Palm Beach Daily News.

“She needed someone strong by her side,” said Ms. Marks, the bride’s friend. “I don’t know if she would have gotten through a lot of it without Benny.”

And Bertram Martin III, a friend of Mr. Macfarland’s, said of the bride: “She keeps him in line.”

And possibly in the black, too.

Hey, I admit - I don't know these people from Adam, but evidently they want us to, hence the full article in the New York Times. I just form an opinion reading between the lines, because that is the nature of my business as a family law attorney.

As with so many of these articles, I would love to know who wrote it and who chose the picture for it. Go to the New York Times website and look at the photo - I get the feeling, seeing the litter of empty and/or used water bottles around the couple, as well as the titties on the statues flanking the bench, that someone is trying to suggest white trash.

And I don't think it's aimed at Christina.

Mazel tov, you crazy kids!