One of God's Gifts to Literature

Flannery. She liked to drink Coca-Cola mixed with coffee. She gave her mother, Regina, a mule for Mother’s Day. She went to bed at 9 and said she was always glad to get there. After ­Kennedy’s ­assassination she said: “I am sad about the president. But I like the new one.” As a child she sewed outfits for her chickens and wanted to be a ­cartoonist.

Flannery O'Connor always struck me as a woman I would very much enjoy sitting with and having a drink. A complicated Catholic - but a devout Catholic still - her writings delve into the darker aspects of the human soul.

Although she was a devout Catholic, almost all of her characters, haunted, tested, and redeemed, are Protestant.In her avid reading, she found Protestant theologians superior to Catholic ones, though she was pleased to discover Teilhard de Chardin. She read a lot of theology because she believed it made her writing bolder. When she went to the Writers’ Workshop at the University of Iowa, she said, she “didn’t know a short story from an ad in the newspaper.” Yet she quickly became a star there and “scared the boys to death with her irony,” as a teacher put it.

I need to read this biography.

Potterstein

Death to all juice!

(No, really? They want to be taken seriously?)

Those Wacky Catholics!

The da Vinci Code!

Stigmata!

Fasting!

Exorcism!

I took note of a link that a Facebook friend had put up to a site called The Daily Beast. The piece is entitled "Bobby Jindal's Secret Past" and sure enough, the salacious opening proved more of what was to come:

Did you know about the exorcism? The name that came from The Brady Bunch? Those and other surprising facts about one of America’s fastest rising young politicians.

It seems that in 1994, Governor Jindal wrote a piece for New Oxford Review entitled "Physical Dimensions of Spiritual Warfare." The entire article can be read for the price of the subscription to the NOR but my point is with the first article at TDB.

During his years at Brown University, Jindal pursued his Catholic faith with unbridled zeal. Jindal became emotionally involved with a classmate named Susan who had overcome skin cancer and struggled to cope with the suicide of a close friend. Jindal reflected in an article for a Catholic magazine (called “Beating a Demon: Physical Dimensions of Spiritual Warfare”) that “sulfuric” scents hovered over Susan everywhere she went. In the middle of a prayer meeting, Jindal claimed that Susan collapsed and began convulsing on the floor. His prayer partners gathered together on the floor, holding hands and shouting, “Satan, I command you to leave this woman!”

Ah, yes - nothing like a little drama to try to suggest that Bobby Jindal is a little . . . well, you know . . . off for pursuing his Catholic faith. And, of course, thanks to Hiollywood and writers like Dan Brown, we all know how "off-center" Catholics are, what with their belief in miracles and hovering saints and - oh my God! - they actually believe there is a Devil, can you imagine?

Yes, I can. Now, this story about Jindal is not new. It was first brought up by Blanco when he ran against her for governor of Louisiana. He called her on it as anti-Catholic bias and rightly so. And it did not bother the nice folks in Louisiana who voted him in ('course, maybe that had more to do with her piss-poor handling of Hurrican Katrina). But expect to see it raised by the left as 2012 approaches. Catholicism has long been a target of mockery.

Read also this article by Dan Brody for more excerpts:

If the Louisiana Governor runs for President in 2012, he’ll have a lot going for him. Fiscal conservatives love him, social conservatives love him and he would literally be a fresh face for the GOP. Not your typical GOP politician if you know what I mean. Plus, he has the intellectual heft to go up against President Obama. But there’s one incident from his past that may scare some folks.

That's right - everything else about Jindal is negated over something "that may scare some folks." Oooh, oooh, what can it be?

I left that classroom with a powerful belief in Mary's intercessions and with many questions about spiritual warfare; I also learned a lasting lesson in hu­mility and the limits of human understanding. Was the purpose of that night served when so many indi­viduals were inducted into the Church? Did I witness spiritual warfare? I do not have the answers, but I do believe in the reality of spirits, angels, and other re­lated phenomena that I can neither touch nor see.

Obscure Music Friday

Song: James Brown is Dead

Artist: L.A. Style

Why I Like This Song: Remember that scene where Sharon Stone is mad-dancing with her lesbian friend in Basic Instinct? This is the type of song to which you'd do that type of dancing. I know, it's sorta weird . . .

Porn With a Heart

They want Suleman, who gave birth to octuplets in January, to have sex in eight different scenes with eight different men.

"The number eight is obviously heavily associated with her so we would like to work with that," Vivid’s CEO Stephen Hirsch told Tarts. "But we would really love just to sit down and talk with her and come up with something she feels comfortable with. We want her to be involved with the whole thing from the plot line to the packaging."

Hirsch says Suleman has received their offer and is considering it. Suleman did not return calls for comment.

"We wouldn't want her to do anything that wasn't classy, you know . . . just something natural and easy . . . 'cause we care."

But wait . . . it gets better:

"She’s struggling financially and this is a woman who wants to provide for her kids," Hirsch said. "This way she can hold her head high and not be using taxpayers money to support her family."

Hair Raising

What is more frightening - that a terrorist will have his case transferred to a civilian court . . . or the mullet?

Wendy Richard, RIP

Wendy Richard, the actress who appeared in some of Britain's best-loved and most long-running television programmes, has died today, her agent Kevin Francis said. She was 65 and had been suffering from cancer.

A Conservative supporter, she was also reputed once to have refused to deliver a rant against the then prime minister Margaret Thatcher, accusing the EastEnders writers of foisting their own political views on her.

I loved her in both EastEnders and Are You Being Served? on the BBC. Rest in peace, dear.

Ever Play Whack-a-Mole?

All around the mulberry bush

The monkey chased the weasel.

The monkey thought 'twas all in fun.

Pop! goes the weasel.

You Can't Write Comedy Like This

Obama said– with a straight face — last night: “Now, I know there are some in this chamber and watching at home who are skeptical of whether this plan will work. And I understand that skepticism. Here in Washington, we’ve all seen how quickly good intentions can turn into broken promises and wasteful spending. And with a plan of this scale comes enormous responsibility to get it right.
And that’s why I’ve asked Vice President Biden to lead a tough, unprecedented oversight effort — because nobody messes with Joe.”

Today NYU, Tomorrow . . . We'll Write a Mission Statement!

I wanted to blog about this from the other day because (a) I think the video is friggin' hilarious and (b) this is a good example of where corporate geeks who think "mission statements are important for building consensus" orginate.

TakeBackNYU! is a group of wanna-be Che Guevaras at New York University, where I was a student 1978 - 1980. I don't know, I spent my time going to class, sleeping in the library, and prowling the East Village, underachiever that I was. Instead, I could have been making revioluntionary strides by joining a counter-culture group fueld by college funds collected over the years by hard-working parents and made demands to the administration including these:

The establishment of a student elected Socially Responsible Finance Committee. This Committee will have full power to vote on proxies, draft shareholder resolutions, screen all university investments, establish new programs that encourage social and environmental responsibility and override all financial decisions the committee deems socially irresponsible, including investment decisions. The committee will be composed of two subcommittees: one to assess the operating budget and one to assess the endowment holdings. Each committee will be composed of ten students democratically elected from the graduate and under-graduate student bodies. All committee decisions will be made a strict majority vote, and will be upheld by the university. All members of the Socially Responsible Finance Committee will sit on the board of trustees, and will have equal voting rights. All Socially Responsible Finance Committee and Trustee meetings shall be open to the public, and their minutes made accessible electronically through NYU’s website. Elections will be held the second Tuesday of every March beginning March 10th 2009, and meetings will be held biweekly beginning the week of March 30th 2009.

That the first two orders of business of the Socially Responsible Finance committee will be:a) An in depth investigation of all investments in war and genocide profiteers, as well as companies profiting from the occupation of Palestinian territories.b) A reassessment of the recently lifted of the ban on Coca Cola products.

That annual scholarships be provided for thirteen Palestinian students, starting with the 2009/2010 academic year. These scholarships will include funding for books, housing, meals and travel expenses.

That the university donate all excess supplies and materials in an effort to rebuild the University of Gaza.

Yeah, yeah, lots of luck on those, kiddies. Actually, it's pretty funny when you consider that NYU, which is a private university, was founded by wealthy Jews whose own sons and daughters could not get into the Ivy League schools because they were Jewish. Somewhere on Long Island, a housefrau is looking at a picture of her son being arrested in this incident and crying, "Why, Herschel? Why?!"

Anyway, even though it's long, watch the video. You will hear some of the most pathetic and sophomoric attempts to be "revolutionaries." And, if you have ever sat in a board meeting in a conference room across America, you will realize that these students grow up to be that guy to whom, after listening to 30 minutes of his drivel about "building consensus" and "facilitating change," you want to blow poison-tipped darts.

Warning: this may also make you want to take whatever college fund you have saved for your kids and blow it all on smokes and lottery tickets.

If It's a Corgi, And If It's a Stupid LOL, I'll Post It

I am a sucker for stupid comedy.

Then again, that explains a lot of my friends . . . LOL!

Ash Wednesday

No blogging today. See y'all tomorrow.

Pig at the Trough

The government faced mounting pressure on Monday to put billions more in some of the nation’s biggest banks, two of the biggest automakers and the biggest insurance company, despite the billions it has already committed to rescuing them.

The government’s boldest rescue to date, its $150 billion commitment for the insurance giant American International Group, is foundering. A.I.G. indicated on Monday it was now negotiating for tens of billions of dollars in additional assistance as losses have mounted.

Separately, the Obama administration confirmed it was in discussions to aid Citigroup, the recipient of $45 billion so far, that could raise the government’s stake in the banking company to as much as 40 percent.

AIG is expected to post a loss of $60 billion . . . so they want $60 billion more from us. In addition to the $150 billion already given. But that $150 billion was a loan, right?

At the time of the original bailout in September, the government imposed what many considered onerous interest rates and deadlines for AIG to repay its loans by selling off assets. It quickly became clear, however, that the erosion of the value of AIG's assets and worsening financial crisis would make it difficult to meet the goals without jettisoning assets at fire-sale prices.

Where's that hidden valley in Colorado?

It's Hard Out There Being an OctoMom

TMZ caught up with Nadya Suleman at a local gas station. All was well until some unknown woman started yelling, "Get a life! Get a job! That's our tax money!"

Slumdog Millionaire and the Nobility of the Poor

Something I read in The New Yorker magazine (with link to on-line synopsis):

India’s official poverty rate has fallen from thirty-six to twenty-seven per cent in the past decade, but it is “harder than ever for the rich to gauge the particulars” of Indian poverty, she notes. “Across the country, electrified fences, walls jagged with broken glass, security gates had gone up as inequality grew,” keeping the poor of the slums out of the domains of the rich. The thirteen-year-old scavenger has no knowledge of “Slumdog Millionaire,” Boo writes, but had he seen it, “he might have recognized one of that movie’s conceits: that deprivation may give a child a certain intelligence. The other conceit—that a child’s specific miserable experiences might be the things to spring him from his deprivation—was the lie. It was the movie version of the electrified fence. The women who had been manicured and exfoliated and blown out would linger at the première past 1 A.M., then head to the after party at the JW Marriott. They could relax, not just because the film about the slum boy had a happy ending but because the boy’s suffering had been part of the solution.”

Mario's Not Getting an Invite Back

Apologies to any foodie out there who watches the Food Network religiously. But this is a good example of picking the wrong time to say what's on your mind. Although, I admit - I would have laughed and enjoyed this immensely more than some balding troll yelling, "Bam!" all the time.

King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia, guests of honour on a visit to Florida, were treated to some piquant side dishes from Mario Batali, an American celebrity chef, at a $1,000-a-head Royal dinner.

Frustrated because the audience would not quieten down when it was his turn to take the microphone, Mr Batali decided to make his point in no uncertain terms.

“All you weasel f**kwads in the back corners, can I have ten seconds of your time?”, said the chef, who appeared intoxicated.

The colourful tirade didn’t stop there. Introducing José Andrés, another chef whose Los Angeles restaurant The Bazaar has received four-star rave reviews in the US press, Mr Batali said: “The most mother-f**king stars of any Spanish restaurant in the US.”

And Talking About Sean Penn . . .

Amy pointed out in a comment on my last post that the white knots worn by the entourage from Milk was to show support for gay marriage. I had read that story earlier and noted that it seemed only the Milk cast and crew had them on - so much for the rest of Hollywood supporting them.

But I noted that Sean Penn was not wearing a white knot when he made his acceptance speech. And the website for the group that is promoting this as the new cause ribbon du jour has no mention of Sean Penn.

Whassa matter - would it have pissed off Hugo?

Speech, Speech

Sean Penn said tonight, in accepting his Oscar:

"I’m very, very proud to live in a country that is willing to elect an elegant man President."

When did he move to Venezuela? I missed that!

Taking Care of the Country

Look, at least one comic strip found something Obama is good at doing!

Wait a minute . . . isn't this racist, as it implies Barack Obama - a Black man! - is really just a sort of butler, tour guide, or bathroom attendant, implying that janitorial jobs are about as much as he is good for?

Oh, wait . . . it's a sister asking him. Then it's okay.

Plus, forty years from now, you can look forward to the strip highlighting the election win of Delta James because if Obama says it will be, then it will be.

Job Security: The NYT Weddings & Celebrations

If you have come here for my weekly take on the self-absorbed, narcissistic wedding announcements published in the New York Times, sorry, but not this week. Every once in awhile, the story is one that makes your heart grow warm, and those people deserve only applause.

This week, join me in wishing much happiness for Ellen Sulkin and Stephen Kardon. They met as teenagers on a student exchange trip to France and reconnected some 47 years later.

ELLEN SULKIN’S red-leather diary is nearly a half-century old, yet the white satin ribbon that serves as its bookmark is still on the same page where she left it in 1960.

Ms. Sulkin, 67, removed the ribbon on Tuesday and read aloud from the entry, which was written during a school trip to France, where she met Stephen Kardon, who was on the same outing:

“Aug. 21. Took 11:15 train to Paris. Up all night. No sleep. Steve and I talked. ‘Slept’ on train cradled in Steve’s arms on his lap. He leaned over and kissed me. Wow! What a kiss! So sweet, tender, tentative. Got into Paris 6 a.m.”

Excuse me, I'm feeling a little verklempt . . . okay, better now. See? This is an example of a wedding announcement that makes you smile and feel that, for a little bit, the world is a better place today.

And don't worry . . . I can guarantee there will be plenty of couples deserving some snark in the future.

But not Ellen and Steve. God bless them.

On a TEAR!

My Cathoblogger buddy is leveling his shotgun with both barrels loaded. If you read Verbum Veritatis with any frequency, you know that Joe of St. Therese is always smart and usually gracious, but sometimes things can tip a reasonable man over the edge . . .

Octo-Dad to the Rescue!

A man who believes he may be the father of Nadya Suleman's octuplets says he is willing to help the mother of 14 out.

The possible father tells Good Morning America in a taping to be aired Monday that Suleman, who he says was married at the time, took him to the clinic at which she received in vitro fertilization to donate sperm.

The man says he dated Suleman for three years and also twice made donations at home.

Isn't that nice, he . . . wait, he twice made donations at home? The timeline is a little fuzzy, but he was married when he went to the clinic to make a donation, but, wait, then he dated for three years?

These poor kids just simply received the short end of the stick on DNA, didn't they? Somewhere, a therapist is gearing up . . .

You Could Not Pay Me Enough Money to Be On the Santa Cruz City Council

"I took a used condom out of my dog's mouth the other day."

OMG, I would lose it and either gouge out my eyes with a pen or viciously attack a speaker . . .

Ted Says: "Hold the Eulogies"

Warning: posting contains profanity

After the president of Harvard hailed him as a “national leader but a local servant,” after the pastor read the “Let us now praise famous men” passage from the Bible and after the cellist Yo-Yo Ma honored him by performing a Gershwin prelude, Senator Edward M. Kennedy lumbered across the antique stage.

Mr. Kennedy’s wife, Vicki, tried to lead him off, but he broke away, grinning. For a few extra moments, he kept the stage.

“Obviously I’ve been touched and grateful,” Mr. Kennedy said in a phone interview Friday from the rented home in Miami where he has spent most of the winter. Beyond that, I don’t really plan to go away soon.”

Too bad . . . about not going away soon. Has this piece of shit ever apologized for allowing Mary Jo Kopechne to die at Chappaquiddick? Asswipe got off with a two-month suspended sentence and his drievrs license was revoked for a year - after he drove his car with Ms. Kopechne inside off the bridge, fought his way out of the submerged vehicle, swam to the top, and then went home and went to bed. And did not call the police until after someone discovered Mary Jo's body the next day.

And now we are supposed to laud his bloated dickwad because - boo-friggin'-hoo - he has cancer?

Friends who have seen Mr. Kennedy describe him as driven and focused on work. He sometimes gets angry watching C-Span, pores over memorandums and speed-dials staff members and colleagues (sometimes from his sailboat, the Mya).

Allowed a girl from the wrong side of the tracks to die. Never worked for profit a day in his life. Adanced the pro-death abortion industry.

Just go and die quietly. You don't deserve any applause.

Islam! The Comedy!

I suggest you watch this before it gets yanked off of YouTube.

For Ages 5 and Up?!

Well, that's what it says on the package - and for only a quid!

My Head is an Antenna!

My clever, clever niece - that Washington wahine - brought this to my attention:

Suppose your remote car door opener does not have the range to reach your car across the parking lot. Hold the metal key part of your key fob against your chin, then push the unlock button. The trick turns your head into an antenna, says Tim Pozar, a Silicon Valley radio engineer.

Cult Fashion

I know a guy who admitted to me that, deep down . . . he wouldn't mind having one of these.

Hillary Clinton's Ghost Writer Dead at 20

Socks, the cat who won international fame during his years in the Clinton White House, was euthanized Friday after months of treatment for cancer.

Since the Clintons left the White House in 2001, Socks had lived with Betty Currie, former President Bill Clinton's secretary. The Clintons were known to have visited Socks, and Currie, when in Washington.

He had his own online fan club, appeared at animal charity events and was one of the subjects of now-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's book, "Dear Socks, Dear Buddy: Kids' Letters to the First Pets."

And as soon as they were out of the White House, they dumped him . . .

Obscure Music Friday

Song: Airwaves

Artist: Thomas Dolby

Why I Picked this Song: For those who would see the Fairness Doctrine enacted. For the news media that no lobger reports the news. For the fellow in Oklahoma who was stopped by the police for having a sign in his car critical of Obama.

Obagasm!

I heard once that one of the reasons why Playgirl magazine eventually folded was because it tried too much to be like Playboy, only substituting the pictures with male nudes. Women, it seemed, were much more titillated on an emotional level. I want to know if this columnist had a cigarette after she got off the plane . . .

Flying on Air Force One with America’s new first family feels much like popping over for pizza.

Natural, casual, warm.

Raise your hand - when was the last time a friend called you and said, "Dude . . . pop over for some pizza!" Thought so. Not unless there was beer involved . . . BTW, pissing in one's pants can also feel natural, casual, warm if you are looking for a different metaphor.

Although I’ve traveled on Air Force One before with President George W. Bush—as well as separately with Mrs. Bush to the Middle East—this trip was special. Not only was it the first journey home for the new president since he assumed office, but the entire Obama family was aboard. In fact, our scheduled 4 p.m. departure time was set around the girls’ getting out of school.

"Yeah, because when I flew with the Bushes, all I got were lousy peanuts! With the Obamas, I can haz pizza!"

That's right - the hop from D.C. to Chi-town was far more special than accompanying the First lady on a trip to the Middle East, and far more significant.

There was just, rather suddenly, Malia—all smiles and clearly used to cutting a swath wherever she goes. Then came another burst of light named Sasha.

And Charlie the Unicorn! And fairies!

You know they’re adorable. You’ve seen a thousand pictures and video clips. Forget all that. This is when you need Spanish so that you can add the absolute superlative -isima to the end of adorable. They are that adorable. Uninhibited and guileless, they seemed utterly at ease with five strangers— especially, may I say, with the sole female, who just happened to have a little green Ugly Doll hanging from her purple purse, very similar to one spotted several weeks ago on Sasha’s book bag.

Do I really need Spanish to express a superlative? How about your puff piece is the single most f**kin' annoying piece of crap I have read in years? See? English!

BTW, "Ugly Dolls" look like those funky, reject, Eurotrash plush toys they sell at Ikea. Eurokids don't have enough balls to play with G.I. Joe and feel insignificant next to Barbie. But I digress.

The guys may talk football, leaving some women reporters clueless, but guys don’t know jack about the Ugly Doll fashion phenom begun by one Sasha Obama several weeks ago. I wouldn’t call my Ugly Doll “bait” exactly, but I might call it strategy. As a conversation starter, it worked.

I hear most pedophiles use kittens or puppies, but if the fugly toy works . . .

Fashion phenom? If that is her contribution to society, let us all be grateful that there is only "one Sasha Obama." Oh mah Gawd, is this lady trying to get a permanent ticket to Air Force One, or what?

Impressions: I had met Obama before he became president, but not Michelle. I was struck by her warmth and a sense that she has no need to be the center of attention. (This cannot be said of all first ladies.)

She's right . . . but it's not like you felt comfortable turning your back on Hillary anyway. How is Vince Foster doing these days?

BTW, I am struck more by Michelle's resemblance to a Klingon when she frowns and her brow knits up like that, but again, I digress.

I was also struck by how lean and fit everyone is. The Obamas are thin people, a sight to behold in the age of obesity.

If you are overweight, you are unfit for this new society of Obama. Kill yourself now. Oh wait, with health care reform, the government will do that for you, when you are refused coverage for diabetes, say, because it is your own damn fault for not being lean and fit like Barry and Michelle.

Greetings accomplished, the Obamas disappeared into their section of the plane toward the front, while we settled in for takeoff. There is nothing unique about a presidential takeoff. An airplane is an airplane. Except! The flight attendants on Air Force One don’t nag you about stuffing every little thing under the seat in front of you. Your seat doesn’t have to be in the upright position, nor does your tray have to be in the locked position. I briefly considered walking around during takeoff, rather than repeating The Lord’s Prayer as I usually do, just to mock death because I probably could.

For anyone who wants to know, the same thing happens on military MAC flights - no one cares what you're doing during takeoff. And why wouldn't she feel comfortable mocking death? The One was aboard and his magic rainbow powers were beaming the plane aloft, Bernoulli effect be damned!

Once we reached our cruising altitude, as they say, we were summoned to the conference room. Obama, wearing white shirt and tie (sans presidential bomber jacket— too much drama?), again greeted us with yet another round of smiles and handshakes. At this point, I have lost count. We took our seats around the table—alpha dog positioning as one might expect . . .

Yeah, it was too much drama when Bush would wear the jacket he did when he flew for the Air National Guard. Or in his position as Commander-in-Chief. Or because he was just comfortable wearing it. And the imagery of Obama "alpha dog positioning" is disturbing . . . doggy style . . .

"How are we going to run this thing?”

Eh? The president was asking us how we wanted to proceed. For the record, this is very un-Bush. At several meetings with the former president, including a one-on-one interview aboard Air Force One, there was never any question about how we would proceed. Bush ran all shows. Either Obama hasn’t figured out yet that he’s the boss or, quite possibly, he doesn’t care. As a veteran White House correspondent suggested to me later, “Maybe he knows he can handle whatever we toss his way.”

Or maybe Barry is just an amateur . . .

What struck me most was his immense calm. I kept looking for fissures in the façade, some signal that the cool cat is a defense mechanism or some tactical ploy to deflect or defuse an opponent. Nary a crack. You may as well try to find the Dalai Lama’s Achilles heel. I suspect that if you cut Obama open, you’d find a little Buddha sitting inside, smiling.

Or the anti-Christ. Or nothing at all . . .

Before a crowd of thousands, Obama the Orator is a performer. In a small room with a few journalists, he is a teacher, mindful that his students are trying to write down what he says. He speaks slowly. I took this as an act of consideration and thanked him for it.

And we, we are not independent reporters. We are mere mortals, waiting for Siddartha to bring us to enlightenment . . . or we're just piss boys. And Barry knows it . . .

If one judges people in part by the way they and their family comport themselves—and we all do—then the verdict is clear. The Obamas are the family for which less-fortunate children wish upon stars.

This is a comedy piece, right? Good Lord, please tell me she is writing this as a comedy piece and is not serious.

Yes, yes, I hear you. Air Force One. Big deal. Sucking up to the prez. Piffle. Know this, my fellow Americans: The romance ends on the tarmac. Once we landed in Chicago, the Obamas descended the red-carpeted front stairs to their awaiting helicopter and we unworthy wretches dropped from the belly of the beast to the pavement and our waiting . . .

The media at work . . .

Who Said the Housing Market Sucks? Not for Nadya!

We've confirmed OctoMom Nadya Suleman is looking to buy a home listed for $1.24 million!

-- TMZ

Still Trying to Get My Head Around This

The highest-ranking black congressman says opposition to the federal stimulus package by southern governors is "a slap in the face of African-Americans."

Democratic Congressman Jim Clyburn of South Carolina said Thursday he was insulted when the GOP governors of several states said they might not accept some of the money from the $787 billion stimulus package.

Meanwhile, in Oakland . . .

A pastor at a Berkeley church was sentenced Thursday to three years' probation and fined $1,000 after becoming the first person convicted under an Oakland ordinance barring protesters from coming within 8 feet of anyone entering an abortion clinic.

Hoye, executive elder of the Progressive Missionary Baptist Church in south Berkeley, hands out anti-abortion literature outside abortion clinics. He was arrested May 13 at the Oakland clinic, carrying a sign that read, "Jesus loves you and your baby. Let us help you!"

As women approached the door, he asked them, "May I talk to you about alternatives to the clinic?"

Anti-abortion activists called it an intrusion on their freedom of speech and decried what they said was an unfair prosecution of a pro-life black minister.

I'm sorry, did they repeal the 1st Amendment while I was eating dinner?

Is Jim Clyburn decrying the right of a black minister to hold a sign on public property, or is he silent on the issue?

Am I still living in America?

I Woke Up in Denmark This Morning

Protesters gathered outside the New York Post’s Manhattan office last night chanting “shut the Post down” after they claimed a cartoon in the tabloid compared President Obama to a chimpanzee.

The Post's Editor-in-Chief insists his cartoonist was simply mocking the authors of the fiscal stimulus Bill as no better than a team of trained monkeys. But the newspaper’s critics say Sean Delonas’s sketch was tantamount to calling for Barack Obama to be assassinated.

The Danes had this same problem when cartoons of Mohammed were published in a paper.

Is the cartoon offensive? More so to Travis the Now Deceased Chimp than anyone else . . . evolution aside, the animal is getting more bad press than deserved (yes, because he was a wild animal and like it or not, wild, undomesticated animals act on instinct and you cannot ascribe human morality to them) and probably does not to be compared to the authors of the Stimulus Bill.

But when I first saw it, I thought immediately of the old myth, if you place a thousand chimps in front of typewriters, eventually they will peck out the works of Shakespeare. In short, the message is, this bill was written by a bunch of freakin' monkeys. You know, like recent Career Builder commercials that show this poor sap working in an office full of chimps. Hey, we all laughed at that!

To say that it would make one jump to the conclusion that (a) the chimp represents Barack Obama and (b) it is a racist reference and (c) it calls for his assassination, only serves to show our new Attorney General, Eric Holder, is wrong - we are not a nation of cowards, we are a nation of idiots.

By the way, where were the protestors when cartoons like this were published?

Speaking of Babies . . .

Did you know Tiger Woods' had a baby son almost two weeks ago? No? Was that because he and his wife did not try to market the baby pictures to the likes of Us Weekly or People? And kept it a personal, family affair?

Four! Golf champ Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin, yesterday introduced their 10-day-old son, Charlie Axel, to the world in a happy family photo with their obviously delighted daughter, Sam.

Class, as usual, from Tiger . . .

Walk Away, Grandma, Just Walk Away

Property records show the house where the Southern California woman who gave birth to octuplets lives is under the threat of foreclosure.

Los Angeles County property records indicate the house was in mortgage
default on Feb. 9. The home in Whittier is owned by Angela Suleman, the mother
of octuplets mom Nadya Suleman.

Seriously, who would blame Angela if she did? Now I suspect Nadya's PR fimr will send out the appeal to save the house. Shoot, make it a historical landmark or sumthin'.

Can I have one of the babies now?

Um, How Much Did This Study Cost?

Sexy women in bikinis really do inspire some men to see them as objects, according to a new study of male behavior.

Brain scans revealed that when men are shown pictures of scantily clad women, the region of the brain associated with tool use lights up.

Men were also more likely to associate images of sexualized women with first-person action verbs such as "I push, I grasp, I handle," said lead researcher Susan Fiske, a psychologist at Princeton University.

And in a "shocking" finding, Fiske noted, some of the men studied showed no activity in the part of the brain that usually responds when a person ponders another's intentions. This means that these men see women "as sexually inviting, but they are not thinking about their minds," Fiske said. "The lack of activation in this social cognition area is really odd, because it hardly ever happens."

I am going to learn how to write applications for grants because somewhere, there is a gobvernment fool waiting to part with our money and I might as well get some of it back.

To the scientists at Princeton - did you really have to ask these questions?

For Tara - LOLStella

u shouldz not haz posted that pichur of yr dog, tara!

Apologies to Johnny Cash . . .

Beauty and the Beast

From the office of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi:

It is with great joy that my husband, Paul, and I met with His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI, today. In our conversation, I had the opportunity to praise the Church’s leadership in fighting poverty, hunger, and global warming, as well as the Holy Father’s dedication to religious freedom and his upcoming trip and message to Israel. I was proud to show His Holiness a photograph of my family’s papal visit in the 1950s, as well as a recent picture of our children and grandchildren.

From the press office of the Holy See:

Following the General Audience, the Holy Father briefly greeted Mrs. Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, together with her entourage. His Holiness took the opportunity to speak of the requirements of the natural moral law and the Church’s consistent teaching on the dignity of human life from conception until natural death, which enjoin all Catholics, and especially legislators, jurists, and those responsible for the common good of society, to work in cooperation with all men and women of good will in creating a just system of laws capable of protecting human life at all stages of development.

Do not give me any crap about how His Holiness should be "diplomatic" to a visiting politician. Nancy Pelosi is a Catholic - as such, the Pope's first and primary duty to her is pastoral, not politeness.

Pelosi is deeply confused about what her church teaches on the morality of abortion, and why. She may have come to her bizarre views on her own; it’s far more likely that she has been un-catechized, so to speak, by Catholic intellectuals and clerics who find Catholic teaching on life issues an embarrassment among their high-minded friends and colleagues of the progressive persuasion.

It's A "Feel Good 'Hostel'"

QUENTIN Tarantino's new war movie, the strangely spelled "Inglourious Basterds," is shaping up to be the blood-spattered antidote for anyone who's depressed by the recent torrent of Holocaust movies - it's one big slaughterfest in which hundreds of Nazis are gleefully executed in the most gruesome ways possible.

In the movie, Brad Pitt heads up a team of "Bowery Boy Jews seemingly right from the heart of Hell's Kitchen" who are out to collect 100 Nazi scalps each, according to Knowles. The plot goes from broad comedy to outright horror. In one scene, a soldier played by Eli Roth takes a bat to one Nazi, which ended up "splattering Nazi-brain blood all over me and my script, even though I was a good 15 to 20 feet away," Knowles says.

In another scene, actor Omar Doom, who's described as looking like a "young Al Pacino," effortlessly scalps some Germans while machine-gunning others.

An insider said: "The Nazis really get their comeuppance."

Well. "Broad comedy to outright horror," eh? And one of the world's whitest WASPs cast as a "Bowery Boy Jew."

And yet - this might actually be good. Listen, Natural Born Killers was a comedy, in case you did not get it, and featured brilliant acting by Robert Downey, Jr. and Woody Harrelson. The amount of fake blood mentioned in the article already makes this sound as "realistic" as a Monty Python movie ("come back here, you bastard - I'll bite your kneecaps off!").

Netting the Dissidents

The Fairness Doctrine is a policy created decades ago but abolished in the late 1980s that required broadcasters to provide opposing views on controversial issues.

While some Democrats have talked about reviving the policy, The American Spectator reported Monday that Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., is taking the call to a new level. The article said aides to the chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee met last week with Federal Communications Commission staff to discuss ways to not only enact those policies but give Waxman's panel greater oversight over the Internet.

I saw this after reading an article about how we are becoming more socialist, like Europe.

Or is this fascism?

Oh wait, the fascists were socialist.

This is why I prefer the simplicity of "we're screwed."

Yesterday, while driving to court, I heard a radio segment discussing the death of newsprint, and how some liberals are saying that unless the federal government "takes control" (no, not simply "bails out") the newspapers, the traditional pen-and-ink press might become a thing of the past. To which I say, let it. I have read "government controlled " newspapers - Tass, Izvestia, Krasnaya Zvezda. Not a lot of news and lousy comic sections.

But that leaves the Internet and as anyone who has suffered through a spyware attack, you know how it can reach into your computer as easily as you reach out to it.

Excuse me now, I mean to go check to see if they have repealed the 4th Amendment while I was asleep overnight.

Oh Hell No

This contemporary and passionate dance turns a prayer into an expression of the entire being. Choreographed to the song "Here I Am," the first part can be a duet or group lyrical dance; a short portion of this is done with ribbons. The second part of the song fuses lyrical with hip-hop, and allows dance groups the choice to finish the dance in the lyrical style or blend it with hip-hop.

Do they want me to become violent?

It Worked for Michael When He Had Dinner With Sollozzo . . .

In a move likely to stoke more controversy about whether Catholic politicians who support abortion rights are in line with the church, Pope Benedict XVI has granted an audience to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

In April, Pelosi received Communion in a service during the Pope’s visit to Washington, though she did not receive it directly from the Pope. She said she felt very comfortable taking communion during the mass, despite her difference

"Communion is the body of the people of the church coming together," Pelosi said at her weekly news conference after returning from the mass. "I feel very much a part of that."

Thanks to LLoyd.

Follow Up to Posting Below

For Tara . . . Bad Corgi!

My friend, Fr. John, left his jacket at my house last night, which had his beloved - and critical - iPhone in the pocket. I am surprised he did not sense a disturbance in the Force while driving home and turn around. He did go home with a doggie bag (filet friggin' mignon, oh yeah!) and so when I discovered his jacket and phone this morning, I posted the following on his Facebook page:

dEAr fR. $¢,

I GotZ dA PhONe. yOO gOTz da $TaKe. If yoo W@Nt 2 seE yr iPH0ne aGaiN, Put da meAt in MY b0WL anD doNt call dA PolEE$, OK?

@nonYmOuS

P.S. donT geeVe it 2 da 0THeR dog, the BiG Gray wun – OnLY MY bowl, OK?!?!? oNLy i can HAz da MEat!!!

Corgis can be bad dogs . . .

If I Try This at Disneyland, It'll Get Me a 5150 for Sure

Again, since seeing Lost in Translation, I have wanted to visit Japan.

For those who don't know, a 5150 in California is a 72-hour involuntary psychiatric observation.

Color Photos of Nazi Germany

I love photography and I was fascinated to find a website that had rare photos of Nazi Germany in color.

Why the fascination? Because too often we think of WWII in terms of black and white, literally. It is odd to see a Nazi rally where the sun is shining - it's a lovely day! - and people are glad to be outside in the fresh air. No, for our comfort, we want to see a black and white photographs of Life magazine and when Hollywood presents that war to us, the scenes are usually seen on overcast days or at night.

The details in these photos are riveting. In the rally shots, you can see the work that went into building columns and the placement of greenery to mask the stage and podium - including two Volkswagen bugs! For people who have traveled to Europe, some street scenes bring on a sense of deja vu, especially one for me of a Art Deco building with an apothecary at the street level - how often I saw similar buildings im Schweiz when I lived there.

It's a good study to see what a difference color can make and the mood it can invoke, rather than black and white.

Taliban Victory

The government agreed to impose Islamic law and suspend a military offensive across a large swath of northwest Pakistan on Monday in concessions aimed at pacifying a spreading Taliban insurgency there.

Amir Haider Khan Hoti, the chief minister for the North West Frontier Province, said authorities would impose Islamic law in Malakand region, which includes the Swat Valley. Swat is a one-time tourist haven in the northwest where extremists have gained sway through brutal tactics including beheading residents, burning girls schools and attacking security forces.

How will those activities change once Sharia law is implemented?

Rebel Cephalopod

An octopus will be released from a New Zealand aquarium after escaping from a tank and surviving five days on the run.

Last month Sid mysteriously vanished from his tank at a Dunedin aquarium.

Five days later, he was spotted by a staff member making a dash for the door.

Sid had been hiding out in a drain, which pumps fresh sea water into the aquarium.

He was persuaded back into his tank. He was hungry but otherwise OK.

The aquarium's senior aquarist, Matthew Crane, says Sid has done his time and will be freed.

"We are realising he is getting a little older in his life and maybe searching for a mate so that's why we've gone ahead and set his release for today," he said.

Another octopus named Harry - after Harry Houdini - escaped from the same tank.

He was found halfway up a staircase.

This story reminds me of my late neighbor, Gene Wasson, God rest his soul (+). Gene was a retired USMC aviator, lieutenant colonel, who did tours in WWII, Korea, and Vietnam. No slouch there.>

One day, he was out in front of his house, pulling up dandelions from his front lawn. "They're for the tortoises," he told me, referring to his two California Desert tortoises that he kept in the backyard.

"Gene," I said, "why don't you just bring out the tortoises here and let them graze on the lawn?"

He looked at me seriously. "Oh no, " he said. "They might dart into traffic."

Both Gene - and Sid - are my heroes.

Someone 'Splain This to Me

A cross-channel investigation has been launched after two submarines carrying nuclear weapons – from the Royal and French navies – collided in the Atlantic.

HMS Vanguard and Le Triomphant crashed on February 3 or 4, despite both vessels being equipped with sonar.

Look, I know things happen, but this was not like they were jockeying for position to get through the tolls on the George Washington Bridge, or they were making that transition from the 22 Freeway East to the 5 Freeway South, or it was a dark and stormy night and visibility was poor. But . . . fer Pete's sake, they had the whole friggin' Atlantic Ocean!

On a related note, I hear they both pulled over and exchanged insurance information, although I expect those French will claim whiplash . . .

I Amuse Easily

Saw this at LOL Saints!

Kvell, Kvell, Kvell

Just look at this!

(NO, Fr. Erik, Katie is NOT destined for the Carmelites or ANY religious order. I'm saying this, Richtsteig, since I KNOW you are going to make SOME remark and I just want to BEAT you to the PUNCH!)

Catholic Priest Comes Out Against Mammon

You have seen these candles before. Now a Catholic priest has had enough.

He may be the Second Coming to many San Franciscans - but one local Catholic priest wants a popular prayer candle with President Obama's picture on it pulled from a local gift shop, saying it "mocks Jesus" and "depicts our beloved saints in a not so saintly way."

The Rev. Tony La Torre of St. Philip the Apostle Church, in ever-hip Noe Valley, is so riled up that he's calling for a boycott of the neighborhood's Just For Fun card and novelty shop, which has been selling the $15 candles at a fast clip.

The article is from the San Frncisco Chronicle, so don't expect it to be too supporting of Fr. La Torre's position.

Besides Hula Hoops, Barbie lunch bags and Valentine heart trinkets, the novelty store stocks such joke religious items as Jesus pencil erasers, "Beware of Nunzilla" wind-up toys and, most recently, the Obama devotional candles.

But to La Torre, the candles featured in a big window display were "the final straw" for a store "that feels the need to mock and ridicule the Catholic/Christian faith."

It's not first time "anti-Catholic, anti-Christian" attitudes, as La Torre calls them, have been decried in the city.

In San Francisco? Oh, I can give first-hand testimony to the animosity expressed to Catholics in that city. Who wants to bet that tomorrow Fr. La Torre's voice mail will be filled with obscene phone calls and threats?

Get Me Another Box of Tissues - Jeff and Freedom

I just got this in the email from my friend, LN O LN:

Freedom and I have been together 10 years this summer. She came in as a baby in 1998 with two broken wings. Her left wing doesn't open all the way even after surgery, it was broken in 4 places . She's my baby.

When Freedom came in she could not stand and both wings were broken. She was emaciated and covered in lice. We made the decision to give her a chance at life, so I took her to the vets office. From then on, I was always around her. We had her in a huge dog carrier with the top off, and it was loaded up with shredded newspaper for her to lay in. I used to sit and talk to her, urging her to live, to fight; and she would lay there looking at me with those big brown eyes. We also had to tube feed her for weeks.

This went on for 4-6 weeks, and by then she still couldn't stand. It got to the point where the decision was made to euthanize her if she couldn't stand in a week. You know you don't want to cross that line between torture and rehab, and it looked like death was winning. She was going to be put down that Friday, and I was supposed to come in on that Thursday afternoon. I didn't want to go to the center that Thursday, because I couldn't bear the thought of her being euthanized; but I went anyway, and when I walked in everyone was grinning from ear to ear. I went immediately back to her cage; and there she was, standing on her own, a big beautiful eagle. She was ready to live. I was just about in tears by then. That was a very good day.

We knew she could never fly, so the director asked me to glove train her. I got her used to the glove, and then to jesses, and we started doing education programs for schools in western Washington . We wound up in the newspapers, radio (believe it or not) and some TV . Miracle Pets even did a show about us.

In the spring of 2000, I was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma. I had stage 3, which is not good (one major organ plus everywhere), so I wound up doing 8 months of chemo. Lost the hair - the whole bit. I missed a lot of work. When I felt good enough, I would go to Sarvey and take Freedom out for walks. Freedom would also come to me in my dreams and help me fight the cancer. This happened time and time again.

Fast forward to November 2000, the day after Thanksgiving, I went in for my last checkup. I was told that if the cancer was not all gone after 8 rounds of chemo, then my last option was a stem cell transplant. Anyway, they did the tests; and I had to come back Monday for the results. I went in Monday, and I was told that all the cancer was gone.

So the first thing I did was get up to Sarvey and take the big girl out for a walk. It was misty and cold. I went to her flight and jessed her up, and we went out front to the top of the hill. I hadn't said a word to Freedom, but somehow she knew. She looked at me and wrapped both her wings around me to where I could feel them pressing in on my back (I was engulfed in eagle wings), and she touched my nose with her beak and stared into my eyes, and we just stood there like that for I don't know how long. That was a magic moment. We have been soul mates ever since she came in. This is a very special bird.

On a side note: I have had people who were sick come up to us when we are out, and Freedom has some kind of hold on them. I once had a guy who was terminal come up to us and I let him hold her. His knees just about buckled and he swore he could feel her power coarse through his body. I have so many stories like that.

I never forget the honor I have of being so close to such a magnificent spirit as Freedom's.

And I checked it out on Snopes - this story is true.

Excuse me . . . dang it, I got something in me eye again . . .

Job Security: The NYT Weddings & Celebrations

I read these things and ask, "Why . . . why?!" The amount of information that people wish to share in a wedding announcement just astounds me.

This week, we hear loudly the biological and financial security clock of Jes ticking away . . .

Jes Gordon and Bill Marmor

BY the time Jes Gordon was 15, she was already working as a florist. At 25, she was juggling multiple weddings every weekend at Tavern on the Green.

“She’s like the Tasmanian Devil,” said Tracy Rohrer, an events manager, linking her quick-moving boss with the whirling Looney Tunes character.

I am assuming economic times are hard, hence why Jes can't go with a double "ss" in her name. Oh, and I'm not sure that was a bit of a back-handed insult by an employee, since Taz was also associated with death, destruction, and the propensity to eat everything and anything.

Now 39, Ms. Gordon laughs loudly when describing the benefits and drawbacks of having attention deficit disorder. She curses constantly and said she sleeps little, harnessing her condition into creating weddings and parties with budgets both small and in seven figures. But marriage for herself? Tricky.

ADD or Tourettes? Or how about Jes is just a leeeeeeetle bit bi-polar? So far we've got the picture of a woman who has no volume control, can make a merchant marine blush with her language, and likely has a triple espresso from Starbucks going at all times that only serves to contribute to the steamer trunks she's got going under her eyes. And so the idea of someone buying into that is tricky? Who'd a-thunk! Frankly, the imagery of her harnessing anything is already disturbing me.

Her mother had married three times and her father, four. Ms. Gordon herself had a marriage annulled when she was 18. None of that, she insists, had anything to do with her remaining persistently single.

Excuse me . . . ah HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can't write comedy like this . . . back to the story.

But by summer 2006, she was badly in need of stability, not excitement. Her firm, Proper Fun, was deeply in debt, in part because of the cost of opening a Los Angeles branch.

“I was shattered,” Ms. Gordon said “I was entertaining ways of giving up for the first time in my career.” Depression set in. “I was crying a lot. Working out a lot.”

"My local CVS Drugs was making a mint off of me. I didn't know what to do. I needed some type of rescue somehow!"

She was on the treadmill at a Los Angeles gym that fall when she spotted Bill Marmor doing crunches on a mat nearby.

“He looked so nice.” Ms. Gordon recalled. “I was at hell’s door and I needed someone to hold my hand.”

Cue the knight in shining armor. Because, after all, when you're at hell's door, never entertain the thought that you have problems you need to address yourself. Instead, find someone to share them with. And since sleep doesn't rank high in priority, where better a place than the 24 Hours Fitness?

But Mr. Marmor, who had divorced a year earlier, was not in much of a position to offer a hand or shoulder. “I was pretty good of a mess internally,” Mr. Marmor, now 43, said of the divorce. “I didn’t see it coming.”

She knows how to pick 'em, that Jes. But don't let a little thing like the other person's problems deter you - instead, go in for the kill.

Ms. Gordon took charge, insisting that her trainer set her up — this despite having been warned of Mr. Marmor’s recent marital troubles. So her trainer and his trainer agreed to be chaperones on a dinner date in Santa Monica, Calif.

Okay, I live in Southern California. This is the type of thing that just feeds the stereotype we have of being in the land of fruits and nuts. If you watch this improbable story lines on sitcoms and daytime soaps . . . yes, people are that crazy. These people are adults over the age of 35 and had their fitness trainers accompany them on a first date. Let that last sentence soak in. Oh, and I hope the trainers charged them for the time.

But Mr. Marmor, an editor of television commercials who owns Rex Edit, a video post-production company in Los Angeles, did not call.

“The date was great,” said Mr. Marmor, a Los Angeles native who at age 15 learned to fend for himself after his father died. “I didn’t follow up right away because some of the battle scars of the first marriage took time getting rid of.” Its dissolution, he said, “brought me back to my dad’s death. People I loved leave me.”

But Ms. Gordon felt unresolved. Why hadn’t he called? “He wasn’t my type at all, but there was a force — there was a foggy smoke that hit me,” she said.

Maybe because he was afraid she's bring her OB-GYN on the next date and insist his proctologist come along too? You know, there is nothing like indulging in some self-psychoanalysis on the pages of the New York Times. As for Jes, let me get this straight - you're facing a nervous breakdown, he's got baggage from a freshly signed divorce, you take your personal trainers on a date, he's not your type at all, but you feel "unresolved" because he didn't call you after the date? Did it ever occur to you that this might be a good thing?

By the way, Bill, your father died - sad, true, but unless you killed him, this isn't about you, so enough with the line, "People I loved leave me." Some 28 years later it's not about Dad - the first Mrs. Marmor wanted out!

So that she could see him again, she arranged a small get-together with Mr. Marmor and the trainers at her place in Los Angeles. On the night of the party, one trainer canceled and the other wanted to meet later. Ms. Gordon and Mr. Marmor were on their own.

And that’s when he discovered one of her darkest secrets.

It's one thing when you cannot avoid having a train wreck. It's another when you actually arrange it.

Can we guess what the darkest secret is? She's a transgender? She's into bondage? She has the stuffed members of previous conquests lining her bedroom dresser?!

“I had a Hormel party platter in my refrigerator,” she said, describing the supermarket tray of cubed cheeses and meats she was preparing to serve at her soirée.

They laughed together at the lowbrow food choice this party planning professional had made. “He knew the real me from the first night,” she said. Still, Mr. Marmor, described by friends as a fanatical Los Angeles Lakers fan who is also partial to horror films, was hesitant. He did not want to get hurt again.

Hey, I was going in the right direction with a "slash-n-gore" film. Though Spam and Cheez Whiz is pretty horrific, unless you're stuck at a combination bridal/baby shower in Fontana where Nascar is the theme. And pretty horrific is learning that processed meat and cheese is the "real" Jes. But then, if the best your friends can say about you is an obsession with over-paid miscreants and movies that have high production costs for Red Dye #2, maybe this pairing makes sense.

After a few more dates, he let down his guard. “I refuse to let my fears, anxieties or scars hold me back,” he said.

And Ms. Gordon confided her financial troubles to Mr. Marmor, who later helped her rebuild her business. “He’s the first man I’ve ever cried in front of,” she said.

“Bill accepted immediately that I was constantly on a plane,” Ms. Gordon said. “That made me feel safe to make the commitment.”

Maybe that made Bill feel safe, too, Jes . . . you wouldn't be around. Especially during play-off season. And you got out of that sticky financial situation - score! Crying women works wonders with "loans" from sympathetic men.

But don't let economics deter you . . .

They set a $40,000 budget, bearing the cost themselves. Fittingly, Ms. Gordon chose January to get an off-season price at the Bacara Resort and Spa in Santa Barbara, Calif. A friend provided discounted D.J. services, but she said she paid full price for everything else. “This is how people make a living,” Ms. Gordon said. “It’s a business, not a hobby.”

Okay, let me be a cynic for a moment. 2-1/2 years ago, Jes was "deeply in debt." At this point, she meets Bill, who has his own business. I am willing to bet that helping her to "rebuild" her business meant "loans" from him. Her business is wedding planning and she paid full price for everything? The way I see it, either (a) people in the business hate her; (b) she is a lousy businesswoman; or (c) she got a commission off of the vendors, as wedding plannners do, that she didn't tell old Bill about. And who do you think paid for most of the $40,000?

On the morning of Jan. 24, Ms. Gordon was placing peacock feathers in her flower arrangements and tossing animal-print throws on couches in the Spanish Colonial style room.

At 7 sharp that evening, dressed in an arresting gunmetal-colored dress, she walked the aisle with Mr. Marmor, to their officiant, Joshua Weinstein, a half brother of the bride who had become a minister of the Church of Spiritual Humanism for the occasion.

I always love the gesture of people who seek ordination "just for the occasion," and especially with the Church of Spiritual Humanism - it brings such a religious aspect to the ceremony. And screw that romance theme for a wedding - animal prints. A successful hunt must be celebrated.

The bride and bridegroom, fearing they would be overwhelmed with emotion, had Mr. Weinstein read the vows each had written to the other. Mr. Marmor’s went: “Critically wounded, you nursed me, guided me, even prodded me when needed.” It was a profoundly honest moment that concluded with, “But you got me here — got us here.”

Oh hell yeah, Bill . . . and don't you ever forget it. Now, about those stuffed members . . .

No to NOLA

The first tangible results of the Louisiana legislature's passage and Gov. Bobby Jindal's signing of the 2008 Louisiana Science Education Act have materialized, and these results are negative both for the state's economy and national reputation. The Society for Integrative and Comparative Biology, a national scientific society with more than 2300 members, has put Gov. Bobby Jindal on notice that the society will not hold its annual meetings in Louisiana as long as the LA Science Education Act is on the books. In a February 5, 2009,letter to the governor that is posted on the SICB website under the headline, "No Thanks, New Orleans," SICB Executive Committee President Richard Satterlie tells Jindal that "The SICB executive committee voted to hold its 2011 meeting in Salt Lake City because of legislation SB 561, which you signed into law in June 2008. It is the firm opinion of SICB's leadership that this law undermines the integrity of science and science education in Louisiana."

All the more reason to visit New Orleans . . . PZ Myers won't be there.