To sweeten the pot, Obama has redesigned the Olympics brand to better reflect his image. Not only will the Olympics rings be replaced with Obama's ubiquitous campaign iconography, several new sporting events will be added to provide a more "Chicago" feel.Track and field events will include Bail Jumping, Legal Hurdles, Blame Throwing and the always popular Graftathalon. Secondary competitions include such Chicago favorites as Freestyle Corruption, Under-the-Table Tennis, Greco-Roman Racketeering and Fencing. (Due to the recent ineligibility of ACORN, Ballot Boxing and Synchronized Vote Fraud have been cut from the program.)
The last great Olympic moment was at the 1980 Winter Games . . . U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! And Michael "Bong a Gong" Phelps.
In the comments to the satirical piece above (some people just won't pick up on that and the next thing you know, it comes to me in a spam email), two people suggested Olympic mascots, should the Klingon War Bride succeed in "taking no prisoners" and securing the games for the city: "Chalkie," the victim outline at homicide scenes, or "Acorn," the loveable nut.
What would you suggest? Given Obama's "trademark" and the curse of the Cubs, I nominate "Goatse."
I know someone will get this and laugh, although I may find myself surprised by who it is . . . except Eddie.