Can You Spot Me a Drink? I'm a Little Short . . .

For 35 years, the former Peace Corps volunteer has operated the Hobbit House, a bar themed on J.R.R. Tolkien's fantasy novels, a realm marked by all things miniature.

Under his care, hundreds of dwarfs have adopted new cultural identities. They're no longer shunned or even feared as supposed evil spirits, but have become popular characters called hobbits -- merry figures who serve drinks, crack ribald jokes and even entertain onstage.

The Hobbit House features what may be the world's smallest Elvis impersonator. There have been hobbit jugglers, comics, dancers, flame-eaters and a singer who sounded eerily like Frank Sinatra.

See, and people decried the side shows of times past, arguing that it stripped the freaks of their "dignity." I say, let them do what they want to do. Jaysus, I see punks and Goths walking along the street and they're no different, except that they purposely make themselves look that way to attract attention. Now that I come to think of it, they could be stealing business from true freaks . . . hey, go find your own corner!

Next month I am opening Keebler Korner here in Santa Ana. As a Monday night draw, I'm going to let teams of dwarf bar patrons toss a normal size guy. I'm looking for volunteers on the "tossee" - no pay, but I'll give you free drinks all night.