Bet It Makes the New York Times Bestseller List

JAMES Frey had Hell's Angels as bodyguards on his last book tour. He might need Navy Seals when he reads portions of "Illumination: The Final Testament of the Holy Bible" for the first time at the Amagansett Free Library Friday night. The novel tells the story of a man whom some believe to be the Messiah. He marries gay couples, impregnates a teenager he later takes to have an abortion, and dismisses the Old and New Testaments as nonsense no more relevant than superhero comic books. Frey told Page Six, "It's a theoretical third book of the Bible, one version of what it might be like if the Messiah, or Christ, actually showed up on the streets of contemporary New York."

James Frey, author of A Million Little Pieces and proven fraud. Oh, but he made up with Oprah, so I bet she'll endorse this book for her club again.

I am sure it will be a literary tour de force farce, right up there with Ellis' American Psycho.