Driving in Irvine

Okay, I don't know if this happened in Irvine, CA - but it could have. Anytime I head south of the 55 Freeway into that land called "South Orange County" - where yuppies roam the fields and drive the streets - I grip the steering wheel a little more tightly.

There is nothing more annoying than a very large SUV - with either a soccer or water polo league sticker on the back window and the homeowners sticker for some gated community on the front window - being driven by blond-goddess-cheap-cosmetic-surgery-but-fairly-expensive-weave-spa-hopping-nonfat-latte-sipping-il-divo-listening-too-stupid-for-NPR-but-thinks-she's-green-by-using-her-own-bag-at-Trader-Joes'-got-fifteen-bottles-of-body-wash-in-her-shower-husband-hasn't-seen-sex-in-decades-but-the-pool-boy-has-carrying-the-outlet-mall-Coach-bag-always-has-that-one-Cosmo-too-many-sits-on-PTA-with-her-girlfriends-and-flirts-with-her-son's-Math-tutor-and-thinks-she-looks-good-in-her-daughter's-clothes suburban Mom!

The cop starts writing first one citation then another and another as the woman continues her demands on the phone . Finally the cop attempts once , twice , three times to get the woman's attention . "Can't you see I'm on the phone !" she shouts at the cop . "M'am if you do not hang up the phone now I will be forced to take action " says the cop . That did it . He then asked her to sign the citations for reckless driving , failure to wear a seat belt and talking on the phone while in control of a moving vehicle with out a hands free device (a recent and confusing law here ) . She of course starts screaming at the cop . "I'm not going to sign anything without my lawyer present" she says . In a near whisper the cop says to me as he walks toward the woman "just what I've been waiting for" .