I had heard before going to see this movie last night that some critics panned it for not having a good enough plot. I think those critics fail to realize that the target audience doesn't need a plot. Instead, this is one of the most Y-chromosome oriented movies I have seen in a long time and something like plot takes a necessary second place to action.
I suppose now you might be expecting to see the words "spoiler alert" - why? The Autobots win. What, you thought they would let the Decepticons kill off Optimus Prime and his gang and the highly lucrative franchise that goes with it? Ha, ha, you funny guy.
I attended the viewing with an expert as to all things Transformers - my 8-year-old son. Very fortunate, as in the midst of a fight I could not distinguish Megatron from Starscream, but he kept score for me. I also got a kick out of hearing his occasional outbursts - oh my God . . . Scorponok? - but for the most part he was quiet and staring intently at the screen. At one point he tapped my arm and simply said, "Mom, this movie is awesome."
And not just for kids. On the other side of my son sat my friend, the Right Reverend John Moneypenny, who for the two hours the movie took, seemingly dropped 30 of his 39 years to be a boy again and watch the action. Pretty much the audience was big boys and little boys. In fact, I was standing alone on line for seats in the hallway outside the theater, before they let us in, while the guys went a got the industrial vat o' popcorn. A fellow and his teenage son got in line behind me. As I chatted with the guy in front of me, there was a lull, and the fellow behind me asked, "Why are you here?" I assured him I had male accompaniment and he apologized, explaining he just couldn't understand why a woman would come alone to a movie like this.
Here is my take:
- Action! There is a lot of EXPLOSIONS and FIGHTING and SCREAMING FIGHTER JETS and ARMY GUNS WITH GUNS BLAZING and MORE EXPLOSIONS and MORE FIGHTING!!!
- Megan Fox has one job in this movie - to stand there and look sexy. Which she does very well.
- Language was, at times, surprisingly rough, which I thought would not be so as they want the kids to come to this movie and then immediately proceed to Target and buy the toys. On the other hand, when a guy is acting like a pussy, maybe he deserves to be called that.
- EXPLOSIONS and FIGHTING and MORE EXPLOSIONS and MORE FIGHTING!!!
- When one robot is talking about his parents, I thought, how do they reproduce? A scrotum shot of a Decepticon later in the movie helped answer that question, in part.
- A touch of "mushy" stuff to appease any romantics in the crowd, but not to long with that so we could all get back to the EXPLOSIONS and SCREAMING FIGHTER JETS and FIGHTING!
- Careful - hot sexy girls at college are not always what they appear to be. And why couldn't Bumble Bee figure that out when she got in the car? Dumbass.
- Those four words are heard that send a thrill up the leg of any Y-chromosome carrying giy: It is your destiny. Have some super cool leader tell that to the hero and every guy automatically thinks he's being addressed personally.
- Did I mention there was EXPLOSIONS and FIGHTING and GUYS SHOOTING MACHINE GUNS AND YELLING INTO WALKIE TALKIES and PARIS, FRANCE GETTING PRETTY MUCH DESTROYED and EGYPT PRETTY MUCH GETTING TOTALLY DESTROYED and PRETTY GIRLS RUNNING IN SLO-MO and MORE EXPLOSIONS and MORE FIGHTING?
- And as an added treat . . . subtle slam on Obama! Oooh, snap!
Update: I thought so - scenes were shot at Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia, PA. It's a wicked cool place to visit.