White Trash Wedding in Malibu

Heidi Klum and Seal.

I had read before that every year, for their anniversary, they renew their wedding vows with a themed wedding. And this year was no different.

Their theme seemed to be 'white trash' - something that pregnant bride Heidi certainly lived up to with her braided hair, low cut jumpsuit and bejewelled accessories.

British singer Seal wore an American flag shirt and quiff [mullet] wig for the service, which was watched by around 100 equally outlandishly dressed guests.

An Elvis impersonator officiated over the service. Of course.

Now, some people would say this was mocking po' folks. Oh, lighten up. I come from redneck stock, "redneck" being a term - while used most frequently for white Southerners - really means a lack of superficial worldly sophistication. That does not mean stupid.

If Heidi and Seal want to celebrate their marriage by having a party every year, fine by me. I just wish I knew them so I could get invited. It's not every day I get to put on a tube top and carry my stuff in a fanny pack.