Job Security - NYT Weddings & Celebrations

I have been too busy in the last couple of weeks to fisk a New York Times wedding announcement, but you know, spare the snark and spoil the bride, is what I always say. So I checked out this week's and was delighted to read about Biff and Muffie, also known as . . .

Christina Matthews and Benjamin Macfarland III

Okay, right away I feel sorry for the bride when there are Roman numerals involved, because you know likely there is an expectation by Clan Macfarland for her to produce numero IV. Some people dream of having children, others aspire to have progeny.

BENJAMIN MACFARLAND III spent years dating women who had little interest in anything beyond sunbathing, horseback riding and going to clubs — an attitude that was far from unusual in Palm Beach, Fla., where his family has lived for four generations.

Y'know, in family law, we often say, well, Cinderella doesn't marry Frankenstein, which is a twist on the old "birds of a feather" adage. I am curious to know what Benjamin's interests were during those spent years. And whether he had a copy of Can I Buy You a Drink?: a Guide to the Women of Palm Beach by William Kennedy Smith.

As a young man about town, Mr. Macfarland dated young women who approached him at social events, but no one seriously interested him.

Knew it. "Social events" - is that what they're calling Ladies Night at the clubs these days?

Time now for a background check:

Mr. Macfarland, a great-great-grandson of Ben Shibe, who, along with Connie Mack, was among the founders of the Philadelphia Athletics baseball team.

Given his own roots, he already knew that Ms. Matthews was a descendant of Henry Morrison Flagler, a founder of Standard Oil and master builder of Florida’s east coast.

Now available on paperback - Will The Children Need the Family Endowment to Get Them Into Harvard?: a Breeding Guide for America's White Elite, by Mario Cuomo and Ethel Kennedy.

They spent the evening talking about her plans (she was thinking of returning to Palm Beach) and he said that he saw in her someone who was “outspoken with a deeper insight into life than other women.”

But the last thing she wanted was a new boyfriend. She had been trying to get out of a relationship in New York.

In addition, Ms. Matthews said she had come to realize she had “no direction,” having seen earlier aspirations of careers in teaching or law go nowhere. “New York City can be brutal if you don’t know what you want,” she said. “I was completely lost and miserable.”

Deeper insight . . . lost and miserable . . . wait, what? Christina, aged 26, seems to be suffering from a panic born in Ivy League sororities - what is no one marries me and I have to go to work? Teaching - "because I have always just adored children!" - seems to be the aspiration of a lot of gals working on their MRS degrees at college. That and "Child Psychology." Unfortunately, when things don't pan out or they realize the pay sucks, to redeem their self-worth they start making noise about "going to law school." Trust me, there were a lot of folks in law school who were there "by default," i.e., couldn't find a job and did not want to be thought of as a loser.

Of course, I am curious to know what is in it for Benjamin.

That night she and Mr. Macfarland drew close over dinner at her parents’ house, surrounded by 10 good friends. The party then continued at Whitehall, the old Flagler mansion and now the Flagler Museum, where the couple discovered they had the same sarcastic sense of humor, inherited from their fathers.

“Christina is lots of fun, yet can be shy,” said Tiffany Marks, a friend of Ms. Matthews. “But Benny has such charisma that he pulls her out of her shell.”

After the party, they went out to lunch and dinner, attended charity functions and really seemed to click over a shared interest in movies, bike riding and walking along the beach.

“Ben was a take-charge kind of guy who had so many business and philanthropic interests,” Ms. Matthews said. “It was intoxicating.”

Details . . . the speed limit in Disneyland parking lots is 14 miles per hour and Christina and Ben were surrounded by 10 good friends. Plus, doesn't everyone in Palm Beach have a shared interest in walking along the beach because to walk anywhere, inevitably you find yourself walking along the beach?

Okay, call me a cynic (already I can hear the catcalls: Steph, you're a cynic!), but would you be too if I tell you that earlier in this article . . .

Mr. Macfarland, 28, who had started a valet parking business while a student at Florida State University and three years ago opened a Palm Beach real estate firm bearing his name . . .

Hmmm . . . lousy market. Shy gal. Loaded family. Lots more "business and philanthropic interests" to finance (gosh, sweetie, I feel exactly the same about Angolan orphans and the suffering they endure from tsetse flies - I would love to start a charity to bring them DDT someday . . . what? Oh no, I'm just an average guy - who wouldn't want to help them?). Me thinkum Seminole speak with forked tongue (Gator fans are nodding).

Now this is sad, and I am not making fun of this, but Christina lost her brother later that year. That is a tragedy. But there are some who might turn a tragedy into an opportunity.

Mr. Macfarland was one of the first people she called. “I understood what she was going through and was there for her,” he said.

“Ben brought me an obit about his father, comforted me during teary nights and helped me follow my instincts,” she said.

He said that during the next few weeks he also “encouraged her to move forward and try new things,” and she began thinking about a career in nonprofit work.

Yet her parents, Jean and Will Matthews, had misgivings about her growing attachment to Mr. Macfarland. They “discouraged the relationship because I was grieving,” she recalled. “They said this is no time to fall in love.”

I am going to wager that Christina's parents were more worried about Ben's interest in philanthropy and encouraging Christina's career in "non-profit work" - and that it might turn out to be his own non-profit. It wasn't about "falling in love" during a grieving period, I can tell you that. And why?

Her father said, “I told her time was on her side, and she should not get into a serious relationship or make any major decisions while she is grieving.”

To assuage their anxiety, she went out with someone else, which caused tension between her and Mr. Macfarland.

If her parents' anxiety was assuaged by her going out with someone else, I betcha it was someone of whom they approved, that is, someone who is "not Benjamin."

And what did Benjy do?

“When I heard she had kissed someone else, I asked if she wanted to be exclusive or not,” he said.

“During Easter weekend we became a real couple,” he added. “I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.”

And Ma and Pa Matthews did what every couple does seeing their anxieties realized . . . drink.

And when they became engaged last June, her father said that it was wonderful and brought out Champagne.

“When my mom and dad saw us cooking dinner in the kitchen, they got how we enjoy being together and understand the importance of family and coexisting,” said Ms. Matthews, who plans to go to graduate school in the fall and is now doing fund-raising for the Lord’s Place, a charity that helps homeless people in Palm Beach County.

Mr. and Mrs. Matthews, I bet, brought an extra bottle of it with them to bed that night. Interestingly enough, the Matthews announced the engagement only this past January 31st, in the Palm Beach Daily News.

“She needed someone strong by her side,” said Ms. Marks, the bride’s friend. “I don’t know if she would have gotten through a lot of it without Benny.”

And Bertram Martin III, a friend of Mr. Macfarland’s, said of the bride: “She keeps him in line.”

And possibly in the black, too.

Hey, I admit - I don't know these people from Adam, but evidently they want us to, hence the full article in the New York Times. I just form an opinion reading between the lines, because that is the nature of my business as a family law attorney.

As with so many of these articles, I would love to know who wrote it and who chose the picture for it. Go to the New York Times website and look at the photo - I get the feeling, seeing the litter of empty and/or used water bottles around the couple, as well as the titties on the statues flanking the bench, that someone is trying to suggest white trash.

And I don't think it's aimed at Christina.

Mazel tov, you crazy kids!