Pitt of Vipers

Here is my take on celebrities in Washington, DC . . . look, I know Brad Pitt and George Clooney are citizens entitled to their own opinions, just like me.

Pitt's superpowers are such that he and President Barack Obama pulled off an improbably secret meeting on the same topic earlier in the day, White House spokesman Thomas F. Vietor confirmed.

But where Brad and I differ is that I do not get a private meeting with the President of the United States to promote my own interests, and especially based on nothing more than my celebrityhood and personal experience of either living in or having visited the place of interest in question, rather than qualifications based on academics, research, or extensive experience (Brad and Angelina may "live" in New Orleans, but they seem to spend an awful lot of time elsewhere, like the south of France where they chose to have their twins' birth occur).

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was not immune to his charms. Praising Pitt for his work to rebuild New Orleans' hurricane-ravaged 9th Ward, she even allowed that meeting him affords her "bragging rights to my children and my grandchildren—a real treat for me as well."

And I don't have the Speaker of the House fawning over me and seeking a photo op. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that Nancy Pelosi does not give a rat's ass about what I think unless (a) it is the same opinion as hers and (b) I come check in hand.

And during a closed meeting earlier, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid confided to Pitt that he was envious that his lieutenant, Majority Whip Dick Durbin, got to meet soccer star Mia Hamm a day earlier, according to one person who was present and spoke on condition of anonymity.

Well, Pitt replied, he'll bring along co-parent Angelina Jolie next time to help Reid make Durbin jealous, this person said.

Later, a Durbin aide sniffed: "Durbin's already met Angelina Jolie."

Same with Harry Reid. Let's not question him about his role in the collpase of mortgages, because, after all, both that and Hurricane Katrina was Bush's fault.

The Power of Pitt drained entire congressional offices of their female employees and quite a few male aides as well . . .

The nancy boys are running the government . . .

Update!

Thanks to Vincenzo for his usual mad skillz at Photoshop!