Ingrid . . . It's Who's for Dinner!

Ingrid Newkirk is the President of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).

Ingrid is a ghoul.

As someone who has dedicated a part of my life to the alleviation of animal suffering in various parts of the world, it is my wish that upon my death, my body be used to further that same goal.

Upon my death, it is my wish that my body be used in a manner that draws attention to needless animal suffering and exploitation.

That the “meat” of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbecue, to remind the world that the meat of a corpse is all flesh, regardless of whether it comes from a human being or another animal, that flesh foods are not needed.

That my skin, or a portion thereof, be removed and made into leather products, such as purses, to remind the world that human skin and the skin of other animals is the same . . .

That in remembrance of the elephant-foot umbrella stands and tiger rugs I saw, as a child, offered for sale by merchants at Connaught Place in Delhi, my feet be removed and umbrella stands or other ornamentation be made from them . . .

That one of my eyes be removed, mounted, and delivered to the Administrator of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency as a reminder that PETA will continue to be watching . . .

That my pointing finger be delivered to Kenneth Feld, owner of Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, or to a circus museum to stand as the “Greatest Accusation on Earth” on behalf of the countless elephants, lions, tigers, bears, and other animals who have been kidnapped from their families . . .

Okay, you get the drift - for the strong of stomach, you can read the rest on your own.

Because animals and humans are equal, right? So that by that same logic, Ingrid, why would you not donate your body to a medical school so future doctors can be trained to alleviate human suffering? Or how about the Body Farm down at the University of Tennessee, so more information can be studied to help solve crimes against humans?

By the way, Ingrid, give me a call when you convince the carnivores of the world - whether my Corgi or the Siberian Tiger lurking in the jungles - that "flesh foods are not needed."