Today NYU, Tomorrow . . . We'll Write a Mission Statement!

I wanted to blog about this from the other day because (a) I think the video is friggin' hilarious and (b) this is a good example of where corporate geeks who think "mission statements are important for building consensus" orginate.

TakeBackNYU! is a group of wanna-be Che Guevaras at New York University, where I was a student 1978 - 1980. I don't know, I spent my time going to class, sleeping in the library, and prowling the East Village, underachiever that I was. Instead, I could have been making revioluntionary strides by joining a counter-culture group fueld by college funds collected over the years by hard-working parents and made demands to the administration including these:

The establishment of a student elected Socially Responsible Finance Committee. This Committee will have full power to vote on proxies, draft shareholder resolutions, screen all university investments, establish new programs that encourage social and environmental responsibility and override all financial decisions the committee deems socially irresponsible, including investment decisions. The committee will be composed of two subcommittees: one to assess the operating budget and one to assess the endowment holdings. Each committee will be composed of ten students democratically elected from the graduate and under-graduate student bodies. All committee decisions will be made a strict majority vote, and will be upheld by the university. All members of the Socially Responsible Finance Committee will sit on the board of trustees, and will have equal voting rights. All Socially Responsible Finance Committee and Trustee meetings shall be open to the public, and their minutes made accessible electronically through NYU’s website. Elections will be held the second Tuesday of every March beginning March 10th 2009, and meetings will be held biweekly beginning the week of March 30th 2009.

That the first two orders of business of the Socially Responsible Finance committee will be:a) An in depth investigation of all investments in war and genocide profiteers, as well as companies profiting from the occupation of Palestinian territories.b) A reassessment of the recently lifted of the ban on Coca Cola products.

That annual scholarships be provided for thirteen Palestinian students, starting with the 2009/2010 academic year. These scholarships will include funding for books, housing, meals and travel expenses.

That the university donate all excess supplies and materials in an effort to rebuild the University of Gaza.

Yeah, yeah, lots of luck on those, kiddies. Actually, it's pretty funny when you consider that NYU, which is a private university, was founded by wealthy Jews whose own sons and daughters could not get into the Ivy League schools because they were Jewish. Somewhere on Long Island, a housefrau is looking at a picture of her son being arrested in this incident and crying, "Why, Herschel? Why?!"

Anyway, even though it's long, watch the video. You will hear some of the most pathetic and sophomoric attempts to be "revolutionaries." And, if you have ever sat in a board meeting in a conference room across America, you will realize that these students grow up to be that guy to whom, after listening to 30 minutes of his drivel about "building consensus" and "facilitating change," you want to blow poison-tipped darts.

Warning: this may also make you want to take whatever college fund you have saved for your kids and blow it all on smokes and lottery tickets.