Who Buys This Crap?

Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee focuses on patriotism as his supporters question the military expertise of Republican counterpart John McCain.

"I will never question the patriotism of others in this campaign," Obama told a cheering crowd of 1,150 in the city where former Democratic president Harry S. Truman was raised. "And I will not stand idly by when I hear others question mine."

[Obama supporter and potential running mate] Retired Army Gen. Wesley Clark said on CBS' "Face the Nation" that McCain was "untested and untried" and hadn't held "executive responsibility."

When host Bob Schieffer said that Obama, unlike McCain, hadn't been shot down in a fighter plane, Clark said: "Well, I don't think riding in a fighter plane and getting shot down is a qualification to be president."

In his speech here, Obama sought to define patriotism, suggesting that military service is not the only criteria for patriotic feeling.

He mentioned that his grandmother worked on bomber assembly lines during World War II, while his grandfather served in the Army.

As a 4-year-old living in Indonesia, he said, his mother would read "me the first lines of the Declaration of Independence."

I call "Bullshit!" on that last sentence, especially since the woman is dead and cannot refute the claim. But I am waiting for Barack to refute General Clark's mean-spirited statement. Nearly six years as a guest of the Viet Cong - two of which were in solitary confinement - leaves a man untested and untried?

For Tara

Yes, Tara, they were all simply enchanting at the Corgi Fun Day, until we owners noticed they kept going into corners and conferring with each other, while looking furtively around. No doubt planning world domination, as corgis will do.

The Girls and I Would Have Declined, Thank You

This weekend, in San Francisco, during Gay Pride Weekend, at the annual Dyke Festival and March:

On stage, the Bomberas de la Bahia troupe pounded conga drums and sang Puerto Rican love songs. And Dr. Joan Gabriella Heinsheimer led the crowd in a mass breast self-exam. She urged women to join her and her colleagues on stage and remove their tops.

"Breast cancer is curable if found early," she said. "If you're willing, take off your shirt. Come on, girls!"

Many pulled off their "Be Visible! Dyke March" T-shirts and followed along as the doc conducted an exam on herself.

"Learn to examine your whole breast," she said. "Use three fingers and start in the armpit and go all the way around. Learn to feel what's normal. If you have a sense something is wrong, find a doctor who will listen to you."

After the exam, the festival continued with rock singers, belly dancers, men in drag, hip-hoppers and impromptu dancing on the grass before the women lined up behind their fabled dykes-on-bikes motorcycle cortege for the grand nocturnal march.

Hey, at least it wasn't a group Pap smear . . . I think they're saving that for next year. When every 13-year-old heterosexual boy in a 100-mile radius shows up to watch.

Heh-heh-heh-heh . . . she said breast.

Distraction at Church

We received a generous gift of new carpeting over at St. Joseph's Church. To the parishioner who made the donation, a heartfelt thanks. It's lovely. My problem started, though, when I was listening to the sermon and heard Fr. J. say, "It really ties the church together, doesn't it?"

Thereafter, all I could think about was the scene from The Big Lebowski where Walter says: That rug really tied the room together, did it not? and The Dude answers: F**kin' A!

Okay, so I amuse easily . . .

Here is the clip with that line. Be warned that the f-bomb is used freely and often throughout, so if you are offended by it, don't watch the video clip.

Upon This Rock

To my fellow Catholics:

Didn't today's Gospel leave you with a feeling of peace and security? I know it did for me.

Come Wednesday, I'm Outta Here

I might blog a bit from the road. Going Back East, as they say, to Noo Yawk and Joisey to see family. My muthuh. My bruthuh. Hey, my cousin hadda baby. Yoo know the deal . . .

Superb Street Photography

I recently came across the website and photoblog for a photographer, Mark Fleming. Really outstanding stuff and I invite all to visit and have a look see.

Stuff like that inspires me to try harder at doing better.

The bike rider to the left is an example of his work that I admire.

Render Unto Caesar

Some Mormons are up in arms over a letter being circulated by LDS leadership to its California bishops, which is intended to be read from the pulpit today and asks Mormons to suipport a ballot initiative to amend California's constitution to define marriage as between one man and one woman. Those upset say that the Church should not be in the business of politics.

It occurred to me that perhaps the Mormon bishops are upset that the State should not be in the business of the Church.

Answer to Cops Practicing Family Law

In response to worried comments by Kit and Gem, here is a typical waste of money for a client and time for a family law attorney.

Client has kid, who is 6 years old.

Client goes to store with her kid and Boyfriend.

Kid starts whining about wanting candy. Defying the adult supervision, kid reaches for candy.

Boyfriend pulls back kid's arm. Adult correction - read, stern "talking to" - ensue.

Client, her kid, and Boyfriend continue on in public, and several hours later go home.

Client exchanges kid with kid's father, Dad.

Kid mentions that Boyfriend "pinched" him.

Dad interrogates kid and decides what kid means is that Boyfriend "choked" him.

Dad calls cops.

Cops come and interrogate kid. Decide what kid meant is that Boyfriend "pulled his arm."

Cops tell Dad there is not much there, but then tell Dad that the child will be taken into protective custody and Dad will be charged with child neglect if he lets kid go back to a situation that is dangerous.

Dad panics.

Dad decides not to give kid back to Client.

Dad calls his idiot family law attorney.

Idiot family law attorney gives ex parte notice. Asks for sole legal and sole physical custody for Dad.

Next morning, idiot family law attorney attempts to convince judge that Boyfriend simultaneously pinched, choked, and pulled the arm of kid. Client's attorney laughs in open court.

Judge denies ex parte request and disgustedly orders a hearing on the same day in August when another hearing on the matter is scheduled.

Okay, so maybe the cops were actually practicing juvenile law - same thing.

Killing Yodelers is NOT a Good Excuse

The Orange County Register had a little blurb today about gun control laws around the world and mentioned that they are "strict" in Switzerland.

However, the newspaper did go on to point out that basically every man in Switzerland keeps agun at home for the universal and mandatory military service that exists in that country. Furthermore, it seems in order to buy a personal weapon in Switzerland, one has to provide "good reason" for it. Reasons that are acceptable include recreational purposes, hunting, and self-defense.

From this, I garner that if you are buying a firearm in the land of cuckoo clocks and chocolate, telling them that you are taking up serial killing, going into organized crime, or planning a little drug trafficking are not good reasons to cite.

Happy Fourth!

Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger, standing near the area of brush fires in Big Sur, which were ignited by lightning strikes, asks people not to do fireworks this year because of dry brush conditions.

Legal fireworks in California (shown at left in front of my house last year), purchased from stands - that are run by local Boy Scout troops, local Boys and Girls Clubs, Kiwanis, AVFW, etc. for charitable purposes - do not fly into the air and emit sparks and showers thereof in a radius of about 5 to 6 feet. We have been doing them for years in front of my home - on asphalt - on the 4th of July and a couple of hundred bucks of those is worth not having to fight traffic to get into a stadium to see a bigger display.

To our governor: girly man!

Obscure Music Friday

Song: Funky Céilí

Artist: Black 47

Why I Like It: On Saturday I hope to go to a Corgi Fun Day in a local park. Yes, Tara[1], it is as you expect - a group of Pembroke Welsh Corgi owners getting together with their corgis[2]. I actually named my first corgi after hearing this song - Claddagh's Sidhe Brigit, aka "Bridie." I loved this song because he also sings about the neighborhood where I grew up in the Bronx, which at the time was quite the Irish enclave. So here I am up on Bainbridge Avenue/Still in one piece but glad I'm alive.

BTW, unfortunately the entire song is not displayed here and I cannot find a clip in its entirety, but at the end, he tells his cushla to sell the Morris Minor and come over to New York, that he's got the biggest bed in his palace on Bainbridge Avenue, and that they can stay in it and make babies forever (which, given the location, would all be baptized where I was, in St. Brendan's Church, on Perry Avenue between Two-Sixth and Two-Seventh[3]).

[1] Tara over at Loved Sinner loves and desperately wants a corgi.

[2] Or "corgyn", to use the proper Welsh plural.

[3] The local way of referring to 206th Street and 207th Street.

Happy Birthday, Katherine!

Katie at 3 years old

11 years ago today, I was blessed by God when my lil' Moon Pie, my Dolly Girl, my own Katherine Frances was born. She has become a great kid and her Dad and I are inordinately proud of her. This summer, she is attending the "Junior Monarch" program at Mater Dei High School, open only to Santa Ana Catholic school kids who have just finished the 5th grade. She was going to go next week with me and her brother to visit relatives in New York but asked to stay home so she can participate in this program. Whaddaya think about that?!

The Horses Are Scared

I am sure that many of you have the local "alternative" weekly newspapers, such as we have here with OC Weekly. They are free and heavily populated with ads for cosmetic surgery (why people who live a liberal, alternative lifestyle would have such an interest in that is amusing).

I have bookmarked several national and international daily newspapers that I peruse for different prespectives and local news outside my own sphere. One is the San Francisco Chronicle and I was surprised to find this article in today's edition, as it is more in line with what I would expect from one of those alternative newspapers.

Or maybe I shouldn't be. Am I that naive?

Everyone loves a happy ending, especially here in San Francisco. Many say that the happy ending to a wedding is the honeymoon; fortunately for everyone in town for the biggest Pride celebration in the world this weekend, we've got newlyweds and happy endings a plenty. A whole city practically doubling its population and going on its honeymoon. We may, in fact, run out of dildos. The lube supplies could run short, prompting a citywide panic. The largest wedding reception-cum-honeymoon could drain our precious resources and begin the Great Strap-On Sally Famine of 2008.

No one wants to be caught with their pants down when their pants are down. White wedding, Pink Saturday — San Francisco has you covered. Get your eager beavers
and other bits down to a Good Vibrations (goodvibes.com) location for all your sex toy, book and video needs. Get cheap lube and marvel at the selection at Phantom, where the blazing neon "Lube 4 Less" sign is not a joke. While you're in the Castro, enjoy the generous selection of sex toys at the revamped Does Your Mother Know. And if it's gay porn you need, visit Superstar Satellite Video, where the selection exceeds reason and possibly the space-time continuum, and is well-chosen at that. Unlike in other cities, you can get safer sex supplies a-plenty at any Walgreens — especially the Castro location.

Once you're done getting ready for the literal bonds of marriage — or just the bonds of boinking — you can put them in action at BDSM club The Citadel. Friday night from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m., The Citadel hosts BDSM play party The Queer Playground, "a queer leather party for everyone of every gender who identifies as queer. Lesbian, gay, fag, dyke, genderqueer, genderf-, gender-bender, differently- abled queer, queer of color, trans, MTF, FTM, bisexual, pansexual, transsexual, omnisexual, questioning, intersexed, trysexual, whateversexual." (R.S.V.P. suggested, $20 admission.) Or, visit our local Disneyland of sex clubs The Power Exchange (powerexchange.com), which is actually not like Disneyland at all and is much darker and possibly stickier, but has three levels in which adults can play games of equality and bondage, alike.

So much for the Chronicle advancing the image of gays as "folks just like us" who are "just asking to be treated equally."

I remain of the thought that homosexuality is, in fact, a psychological disorder. I do not say that to mean that gay people are crazy and need institutionalization or electric shock therapy. I think, based upon my own observations so yes, my opinion is not that of an expert, that there are many psychological disorders in a vast continuum, and at any given time any - or all - of us exhibit symptoms of one or another. We must - and I use the term "we" to mean society at large - given the millions of sales generated by self-help books, the popularity of shows such as Dr. Phil, and the increased use of drugs.

I am just always taken aback, however, at the overwhelming public display of what should remain in the privacy of a person's bedroom by gays. Why would a person feel the need to define themselves by their sexual practice and revel in bringing it to the streets and scaring the horses[1]? No doubt we will see horrified accounts of what went on during Gay Pride Week in San Francisco this weekend in the blogosphere, but for those who think displays of military might are obscene, so too is a public mockery of what should remain a private expression of love between two persons.

[1] "Does it really matter what these affectionate people do-so long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses!" ~ attributed to Beatrice Stella Tanner (Mrs. Patrick) Campbell, English actress (1865-1940), regarding hoosexuals in the British theaters.

Vain? Now Don't Tell Me Those Are Your Natural Lips, Girlfriend!

From the humor section of The New York Times:

A Retort to Carly Simon Regarding Her Chargesof Vanity

Dear Carly,

Nice song. Wow, you really stuck it to me, eh? Yes, ma’am.

Jesus, you are one bitter woman, Carly Simon.

Listen, I’m pretty busy right now with high-profile meetings and social engagements, but there were things I simply could not let stand.

First of all, that party took place on a yacht. So the way I walked in was perfectly appropriate. In fact, there is a certain way that one is expected to conduct oneself in such a situation. I could explain but I doubt you’re interested. As for the apricot scarf and the tilted hat, again, perfectly appropriate for a maritime soiree. Look it up. I’m sorry you had a problem with that. Funny, there were plenty of girls that night who certainly had no quarrel.

Secondly, yes, I went up to Saratoga for an important horserace. And yes, my horse won, thanks to years of training and the hard work of all the people involved. Is this a bad thing? And yes, I did take the jet to Nova Scotia. I would do it again in an instant. Have you ever seen the total eclipse of the sun, Carly? It’s one of the most amazing natural phenomena one could witness, so, if I have the means to see it, I don’t see that as vanity, I see it as being fully alive. I also took 35 orphans up there with me, free of charge, but there’s nothing about that in your song. All right, I didn’t really do that. But I thought about it and that’s what matters.

Third, pursuant to your charge that I was with an “underworld spy,” I can’t discuss that. But I am known to spend time with wives of close friends. And what do I do with said women, Carly? Talk. Have tea. Catch a movie or attend a polo match. These women’s husbands are entertainers and travel quite a bit, so I spend time with them, because that’s what friends do. And sometimes I have sex with them. But not as often as you might think.

Look, we could bicker over these particulars all day long and accomplish little. My chief quarrel with you is more existential: I know the song is about me, so how does recognizing that fact make me vain? Honestly, if someone shouted “Hey, Carly Simon!” at you and you turned around, would that be a sign of vanity? No. It would be a simple recognition of reality. If the song were actually about Spiro Agnew and I thought it was about me, that would be vain. But your use of the second person (”you’re so vain”) combined with the details about the horse and the jet and the apricot scarf, leaves no doubt. So I’m vain? I’m not deaf, is more like it.

And a bit of advice: if you’re going to call someone vain, avoid lyrics like “I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee.” What the pot calls the kettle, my dear.

I will not pursue legal action, Carly, because I’m far too busy and, believe it or not, I still have fond memories of our time together, when you were still quite naive. I find naiveté enchanting. It leads me to make promises. As you know. But I do hope that you try to think a bit more fairly before you record any other potential screeds. Best of luck to you, regardless.

With love from your vain muse,Mick Jagger or Warren Beatty or Kris Kristofferson or whoever the hell I am

Be a Dad

We may be reconsidering how family should be defined. We may be confused about gender roles. We may be struggling with knowing how to parent well in a complicated time. But in the midst of all this confusion, there is a growing consensus that what kids need, at least, is clear. Kids need their fathers as well as their mothers.

This is an excerpt from an essay entitled Fathering in America: What's a Dad Supposed to Do? Good Stuff here. I am going to make copies for my office - I think it is required reading for both Moms and Dads.

Some lines that stick out:

Once you are a father, you are a father for life.

There is no time in a child’s life that doesn’t count.

Respond to the needs of the kids, not your relationship with their mother.

Kids need to have fathers who know both how to set reasonable, firm limits and how to relax and have a good time.

Both boys and girls need you as a role model for what it means to be adult and male.

Message to Cops

You don't play "family law attorney" when advising people in a silly6 ass dispute over custodial exchanges and I won't go aroudn arresting people . . . deal? Better still, just say, "You folks work it out in Court," and walk away.

Shareef Don't Like It

Muslim Voters Detect a Snub From Obama

As Senator Barack Obama courted voters in Iowa last December, Representative Keith Ellison, the country’s first Muslim congressman, stepped forward eagerly to help.

Mr. Ellison believed that Mr. Obama’s message of unity resonated deeply with American Muslims. He volunteered to speak on Mr. Obama’s behalf at a mosque in Cedar Rapids, one of the nation’s oldest Muslim enclaves. But before the rally could take place, aides to Mr. Obama asked Mr. Ellison to cancel the trip because it might stir controversy. Another aide appeared at Mr. Ellison’s Washington office to explain.

“I will never forget the quote,” Mr. Ellison said, leaning forward in his chair as he recalled the aide’s words. “He said, ‘We have a very tightly wrapped message.’ ”

Keith, Keith . . . he's just not that into you.

Thanks, But No . . .

Calling the U.S. presidential hopeful "the man of the moment," Donatella Versace dedicated her Spring-Summer 2009 collection presented Saturday evening to Obama, creating a style she said was designed for "a relaxed man who doesn't need to flex muscles to show he has power."

Uh, sure . . .

Perspective on Marriage

From four years ago, courtesy of Tammy Bruce, whom I admire as being smart and insightful, even if I may disagree with some of her positions:

Now, when Americans have said through polls and voting, that they do not want to give up the meaning of marriage but support a comparable alternative, how do the gay elite respond? When you ask for one cultural thing to be left untouched, the Gay Elite become the Gay Gestapo.

It’s a very fast change from the polo shirt to the brown shirt these days.

In classic Thought Police fashion and like children throwing a tantrum, the name-calling flies—those who oppose gay marriage are “homophobes,” “haters” and the label du jour “bigots.” Once again, the left, unable to answer critics with respect, resort to name-calling only to further the divide they need to validate their inevitable victimhood.

Marriage is worth protecting, in more ways than one. It’s also worth noting the cavalier way in which heterosexuals have handled marriage has lent fuel to the fire of this issue.

How seriously can any of us take the president’s vow to “protect the sanctity of marriage” when Britney Spears indulges in it for 5 minutes in Vegas? Marriage has become a television reality game show.

And protecting children? Before amending the Constitution, perhaps the Feds should make divorce a little harder to get. It’s divorce that is ruining children’s lives at the moment, not a couple of lesbians who want to get married (no matter how scary some of those pictures were out of San Francisco).

R.I.P. George

Comedian George Carlin dies in Los Angeles at 71

Irreverent? Yes.

Intelligent? Yes.

Catholic and in need of our prayers? Yes.

Eternal rest grant him, oh Lord. Let perpetual light shine upon him. May his souls and all the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace. Amen. (+)

You want to play The Numbers?

Well, the Numbers is a game . . .

Drop in the Basket

My church, St. Joseph's, has no air conditioning.

Or, rather, let's just say that the air conditioning that it does have was left without regular maintenance to rot over the past decade or so. That, and the cooling tubes are lined with asbestos.

So, really, it has no air conditioning.

It was hot at the 11:00 am Mass this morning because back in 1947, when they built St. Joseph's, the the style was to use poured cement to place a stylized English Gothis church on the tree-lined streets of downtown Santa Ana. Nice to look at, easy to construct, but cement holds in the heat like you cannot believe. The Saturday 5:00 pm and the Sunday 7:00 pm Masses take on all of the allure of the Bataan Death March.

And my lovely daughter battled it out as an altar server, schvitzing like a schnorrer under that robe. But Kate persevered. As did Fr. Michael and Fr. John, although they adopted the "summer look" of albs and stoles only. If you think our priests should wear the chausible, please make a donation to our Building Fund. Bad news is that before the A/C can be fixed, the church needs to be retrofitted for earthquakes.

I got an idea, though, when I noticed the height of the collars on the priests' albs back in the sacristy. I went online today to Amazon.com and bought two of these to drop ship to the rectory. I gotta look after my men and I hope these prove useful in the long, hot summer ahead.

Fr. John, as pastor, had the unenviable task of preaching today on the money situation for the year ahead, and it does not look good. Nearly 4,000 registered families at the church - so it is popular and draws a crowd - but people are unwilling to give enough. Many - God, no, a majority - don't give at all! Maybe we don't have mandatory tithing like the Mormons or temple dues like the Jews, but give up that latte this week and drop it in the basket.

I Need My Day of Rest

I don't roll on Shabbos.

Should I Confess This?

Yesterday I stopped for gas at an Arco station where unleaded was selling for $4.41 a gallon (corner of the 22 and Euclid in Garden grove, if anyone wants to know). As I was pumping the gas, I noticed that the pump was dispensing it at $4.31 a gallon.

Score!

Summertime and the living is easy . . .

You know it is Summer when you hear this at a poolside BBQ:

Taken at a friend's house on June 21st, the first full day of summer.

Fabulous California

One thing, though, that gay marriage has brought to California, or is expected to bring . . . money.

Unlike in Massachusetts, California’s new law does not limit marriages to residents of the state, thus resurrecting old postcard images of California as the promised land. But instead of Edenic orange groves, the new arrivals will be greeted with organic framboise ganaches, Russian River honeymoon canoe trips and Gay Palm Springs hotel packages with rose petals, Champagne, two souvenir pillows embroidered with the couples’ first names and aromatherapy candles at room check-in.

Faced with a wilted economy, water shortages and sticker shock at the gasoline pump, many California businesses are welcoming “the dinks” (double income, no kids) with open arms. “It’s basically a godsend,” said Daniel Doiron, the general manager of the Ingleside Inn in Palm Springs, which is offering honeymoon specials from $479 bargain basement (boutonnieres, 15-minute wedding, 20 guests) to the "Elizabeth Taylor" at $29,999 (poolside villas, wedding cake and reception, ice sculptures, flowers, sit-down dinner for 200 and three nights in the honeymoon suite). “We’re just blessed to help.” Ten couples from New York, Las Vegas and Phoenix have signed up for the options. (New York Times, June 14, 2008)

Feeling "blessed to help" and a little more flush, too.

Can I offer the "Rosie O'Donnell" - an economy package featuring KFC's Boneless Variety Bucket and a WetNap?

Can't Equate the Two

I read with interest an article in the New York Times about how gay couples are doing in Massachusetts, which has had gay marriage for some four years now.

But as same-sex marriage begins in California, Massachusetts’s experience may offer hints of what is to come. For example, after an initial euphoric rush to the altar, the number of gay weddings here fell sharply and has declined each year since. Of the more than 10,500 same-sex couples married here since May 17, 2004, 6,121 wed in the first six months. There were 2,060 weddings in 2005; 1,442 in 2006; and 867 in the first eight months of 2007, the most recent data show.

Interesting. I have not seen the stats on dissolution of domestic partnerships, which has basically mirrored dissolution of marriage in California since 2005, but it made me wonder if they are relatively low, not because gays "stay together" but because they are less likely to enter into legal commitments, be in domestic partnerships or marriages.

Nearly two-thirds of the weddings have been lesbian marriages, including one between two women named Melissa McCarthy. And while nearly half of straight people marrying are under 30, more same-sex married couples of both sexes are older — nearly a third are in their 40s.

I was discussing this earlier with a friend, and we both agreed that this makes sense in light of our own perceptions that women are more geared psychologically towards "nest building" than men. I think to many women, relationship = home = relationship.

What has changed for gay couples is that marriage is part of the dating landscape, adding tension or romance, pressure or excitement.

“It makes me completely think differently about the relationship,” said Lance Collins, 38, a colorist at a Boston hair salon. He envisions his perfect wedding (grooms in jeans and T-shirts), but his partner does not want to marry. “I know he cares about me quite a bit,” Mr. Collins said. “I just think he doesn’t want to.”

Mr. Collins believes his partner is his ideal match because he “gets as excited about seeing me as I get about seeing him,” because “sometimes he’ll do my laundry and fold it the way I like it,” and because “he makes my coffee really well — one Equal with just a tablespoon of fat-free half-and-half.”

But their marriage chasm worries him. “Maybe I should move out and maybe that will make him appreciate me,” Mr. Collins said. “I’ve gone so far as looking for an apartment.”

Welcome to The "Real Life" Dating Game - if you love me, what's stopping you from marrying me? As an aside, it actually surprised me that The New York Times would inlcude those last few paragraphs, as it tends to portray this issue in a sort of "sitcom" light, given the stereotype that Lance exudes.

Eric Erbelding and his husband, Michael Peck, both 44, see each other only every other weekend because Mr. Peck works in Pittsburgh. So, Mr. Erbelding said, “Our rule is you can play around because, you know, you have to be practical.”

Mr. Erbelding, a decorative painter in Boston, said: “I think men view sex very differently than women. Men are pigs, they know that each other are pigs, so they can operate accordingly. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Still, Mr. Erbelding said, most married gay couples he knows are “for the most part monogamous, but for maybe a casual three-way.”

So, what does this say to the reliance of the California Supreme Court on recognizing "loving, committed relationships" as the reason for their decision? Or is this simply status quo in gay relationships and is it largely occurring among male homsexuals? The ones opposed to gay marriage have said "marriage is between one man and one woman." Gay activists have said, "no, marriage can be between one man and another, or one woman and another." If this is typical - and I am not saying it is and wouldn't know, because I don't have any real contact with the gay community at large - then why draw the line at polyandry or polygamy?

It will be interesting. One thing that is different between Massachusetts and California, is that I think there will be more of an impact - including, eventually, federal recognition (and, more importantly, change in the IRS code) - resulting from gay marriage in California.

Run, Tippi, Run!

I saw this at the blog Knowledge is Power and I had to look into it. I think this is just absolutely fabulous - Mattel has actually commissioned a Barbie doll to commemorate Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds.

Together at last! In a pairing nobody saw coming, Mattel married two classics together to make the Alfred Hitchcock The Birds Barbie Doll. As you can see, the doll is being assaulted by a trio of angry avian attackers, making this one of very few products to be both awesome and classy. We love it, and we're sure you-- or someone you know-- will, too!

God, if they do Psycho Shower Scene Barbie, that would just make my day. As a child I hated playing with Barbie dolls, partly because they were so banal. But this, man, this is something I would have in my office on proud display! I saw this movie as a kid and avoided pgeons and sparrows for weeks - now the memories of Tippi trying to outrun rabid starlings in fab stilettos is simply great.

I need one of these.

Obscure Music Friday

In honor of the Celtics and their win . . . some Irish rap.

Song: Jump Around

Artist: House of Pain

Why I Like It: Long before Eminem rapped, there was House of Pain, some punk Micks from the East who had their own song to sing. Plus, one of my favorite lines is in this song: I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe . . . Who wouldn't want to be sitting at McSorley's with these guys? If you are not used to listening to rap, here are the lyrics.

Advisory Warning: Language, so keep the volume down at the office.

Obama in the Wall Street Journal

From an interview with Barack Obama with The Wall Street Journal:

WSJ: What about the role of taxation? ... For the most part, the way I look at your tax policy, seems to me that you look at it and say, tax policy over the past decade, and maybe even before that, has produced an outcome that has benefited people mostly at the top, and your goal is to try to redistribute it in a different fashion.

Sen. Obama: Here's what I would say: I do believe the tax policies over the last eight years have been badly skewed towards the winners of the global economy. And I do think there is a function for tax policy in making sure that everybody benefits from globalization or at least the benefits and burdens are shared a little more easily. If, as some talk about, we've got a winner-take-all economy where the highly skilled, highly educated are reaping huge rewards and the unskilled or even semi-skilled are getting a much smaller share of the economy, then our tax policies can help cushion some of the blow through providing health care. So if people lose their jobs they're not losing their health care as well. That actually makes a more flexible work force that makes workers more mobile and less resistant to change.

If we've got investments in education, that will make us more competitive in the long run. We've got to pay for that like anything else. But it would be a mistake to say I view our tax code only as a distribution question. I also think that our tax code has come to distort a lot of economic decision making so I'd like to see simplification as part of an overall tax agenda. On the corporate side, for example, one of the things I've asked my folks to look at is: Are there ways we can close existing loopholes in tax havens at the same time as we're lowering overall rates? We've got this new problem: The biggest problem with our tax code when it comes to the business side is that we have one of the highest tax rates -- corporate tax rates -- on paper but our effective tax rate is one of the lowest … You know, how much you pay in taxes as a corporation a lot of times is going to depend on how good your lobbyist is, as opposed to any sound economic theories. So those distorting effects I'd like to actually remove and eliminate from our tax system, but obviously that's a complicated and difficult task. The last time we did it was in 1986. We're going to have to, I think, revisit that.

So, what incentive would I have under the presidency of Barack Obama to grow my corporation? What incentive would I have to distruibute profit to my shareholders . . . or will I even have that profit once I am forced to contribute to health care and education costs?

Does Obama have any clue as to the effort it takes to be a "winner of the global economy," as it seems he thinks it just sort of happens, or only at the expense of the working class?

I read this and think that in Obama's mind, paying taxes is the new morality and since corporations are just soulless engines of profit, any harm to them is moot. But fear not, since Obama will not make any rash decisions because . . .

"I'm a big believer in evidence. I'm a big believer in fact."

Oxymoronic? The problem with believing in fact lies with never checking to verify the veracity of the fact presented. Because, after all, you believe.

Get It Done Right

While reading the news story this morning about same-sex marriages at the old county courthouse and the protestors outside, I wondered if this change in our laws might cause people to start thinking differently about marriage.

If you happened to be a heterosexual couple who showed up Tuesday for a marriage license and a ceremony, and were surrounded by the media focusing their attention on gay couples, would that have somehow "taken away" from your special day?

And if it would have, I wonder if straight couples might now seek more religious ceremonies to make their own marriage more meaningful. Perhaps there are couples who thought they did not have time for a church wedding, but are now reconsidering because they are uncomfortable about having the same thing as gay couples.

I would hope Catholics would always consider a church wedding first. But so many people, while raised Catholic, fell away in their early adulthood. Now, I wonder if same-sex marriages might lead them to want something "more" with their own and eventually lead them to the altar . . . and not simply the county clerk's desk.

The REAL Parents

Okay, Alex and his little Mommy are - I hope - actors. She just seems a little too polished and I daresay they found some Yale drama student who was willing to work for free.

But these folks are, presumably, the real deal . . . although the first couple looks like the neurotic Weimaraner's "parents" from Best in Show, Christopher Guest's brilliant "mockumentary" about the dog show circuit.

C;mon, be honest - it does not matter what the hell McCain said, you were not going to vote for a Republican anyway.

Mommy finds it frightening that in his one year, little Oliver has lived in a country at war? Imagine how those kids in Darfur must feel.

Actually, lady, if I look at my situation these past 8 years, things have gotten better. At least for me. Not because of Bush, mind you, but because of my own labor and efforts. Oh yeah, and budgeting. Doing without for awhile. Didn't buy the Hummer. Think about it. How about you start teaching your daughter to rely on her own talents rather than worry who is running the government, unless your expectation is that she is looking there for it to support her. Well, I guess so, since she seems to think the only source of health care is the government.

The pregnant woman kills me as being quite funny - "the war is costing $11 billion a month, or something like that." Yeah, something like that. I love uncited sources. Because after all, the kids aren't getting textbooks because of the Iraqi War, even though those textbooks are not part of the federal budget. I wonder if she has looked into her local school district to see how much fat is sitting at the administrative level. And programs are being cut!! Programs, I tell you, programs!!!

Little Alex Is Destined for Therapy

This is the sort of liberal propaganda that sets my teeth on edge. Notwithstanding the fact that we have a volunteer military so if little Alex is going to serve, he has to deal with "Helicopter Mommy" (hover, hover!) there, or the fact that in 18 years or so, John McCain will be in the grave, likely, this ad only serves to make me think how utterly stupid was the tool that put it together. And the actress for appearing in it.

Little Alex is exempt given his age but whoever his parents are, they're tools as well.

Hey, how does Alex's Daddy feel about it? Or is he even in the picture? Does Alex get a choice when he is 18? Will Alex realize that since he makes his mother's heart pound everytime she looks at him, he can use that to his advantage when he (a) fails algebra, (b) crashes the family car, and (c) knocks up the neighbor's daughter, because known of those will be his fault but Mommy will know who to blame and against whom to file suit? Alex, dude, a little advice in 16 years . . . with this moron for a mother, hold out for the Mustang when she tries to convince you that you want a Prius.

H/T to Knowledge is Power.

California Roundup

The Lakers lost to the Celtics. Consequently, the state has been placed into a state of mourning and . . . oh, wait a minute, I don't give a rat's ass. Will this mean rioting in the streets of L.A.? We are overdue for some chaos, given the last May Day rally was such a non-event.

* * * *

Wyland and the California DMV are having a spat. Wyland is the Thomas Kinkaid of marine art, or is Thomas Kinkaid, Painter of Crap™, the Wyland of English country cottage art? I never can tell. Anyway, Wyland, who claims to be "the marine Michelangelo," wants to route to his "art foundation" a percentage of the DMV's income it receives from sale of specialized license plates featuring one of his drawings of the tale of a humpback whale. Originally, he had donated the image to the state to generate funds for ocean preservation.

* * * *

Lot of same-sex weddings yesterday. What I can't understand, looking at the pictures, was if this was a moment that was long anticipated, what is up with all of the "getting-married-in-tshirts-and-flip-flops-in-the-sterile-conference-room-of-a-courthouse" weddings? I would have thought you would want to gussy up and find a nice garden somewhere and do it with some pomp and circumstance.

* * * *

Speaking of same-sex marriage, in Kern County - which includes the not-so-gay mecca of Bakersfield - the county clerk, Ann Barnett, announced that while Kern will honor the law and issue same-sex marriage license, it will not officiate over any marriages, gay or straight. Everyone can just go find someone else to do it. Way to go, Ann!

* * * *

Most important is the news that Disney unveiled their new ride, Toy Story Mania, at Disney's California Adventure theme park. I plan on going this Sunday to check it out. I like to keep my priorities straight, in more ways than one.

Making Movies

Hey, Kit! I figured out I had Windows Movie Maker on my PC preloaded, so I started playing with it! It was easy and this is what I made quickly and easily - see?

I think I may need to start a vlog just for Flip Mino stuff.

BTW, if anyone has a video editing software package that they would recommend, let me know. My Phriends the Phoencians use Roxio and say that is good.

Oh, and the fellow in the video clip is my stepson, Gabriel. Isn't he adorable? Girls, email me and I can send you his contact information.

Kit Is Another Mino in the Pond

Aha, I see Kit has gotten on the bus and now has a Flip Mino as I do. Excellent! I am hoping that we can recruit more people to the tribe, so eventually EVERYONE in the world can be annoyed by someone sticking this in their face . . . like the Digispouse:

Honestly, for something under $200, this sucker is fun. I highly recommend it as a gift for someone, especially new parents who don't want to lug out the videocam everytime the Baby does something cute. Or insurance appraisers looking at a damaged vehicle and needing to document it. Or if you have someone you know serving overseas, walk around your town and when you see someone you know, ask them to say "Hey," and then upload it on YouTube so that serviceman or service woman can show their comrades in Iraq - or send one to someone in Iraq, so they can make videologs for their loved ones. I keep mine in my purse because you never know what you might see along the side of the road . . .

He Promised Me Show Tunes, Nothing But Show Tunes . . .

Look, guys, at least try to maintain some dignity. Using The Village People as a wedding theme is never a good idea.

Catching That YouTube Moment

The DigiSon tonight at the skating party for the kids at St. Joe's. Whoa!

Really, last stupid video . . . I promise.

More Dumb Video

No, I promise, after this the only video I post will be meaningful and thought provoking . . . really . . . but the doggies were having so much fun and I am such a geek.

Happy Father's Day to the DigiSpouse!

Now let us honor great Dads . . . including my own husband, Mark, who has proven time and time again that he has what it takes to earn the title of "World's Greatest Dad."

Here is a picture from last weekend at the Indian Princesses' Campland. These are the girls of Fox Tribe with their Dads and I think all of these guys deserve a round of applause this Father's Day for their involvement in their kids' lives. This is what Dads do. They are not simply sperm donors - those are merely "biological fathers", with a little "f". That's, what, a 30 second process? No, being a Dad takes a lot more than that.

To Mark.

To Bob Baldwin, his much loved and late stepfather.

To Frank Martin, my much loved and late father.

To our grandfathers, Andrew Griesgraber and Michael Koretzky, Sr.

To my late uncle and godfather, Michael Koretzky, Jr.

To certain male clients of mine, of whom confidentiality precludes me from naming here, but you know who you are and God knows too, who have fought for their parental rights.

To the priests who have served me and my family throughout the years.

To men who have helped me develop my business and profesisonal skills, with a special shout out to Jim Coman.

To men who have served as inspiration, even though we may never met, such as Ronald Reagan, St. Thomas More, Gen. George Patton, etc.

To all Dads - Happy Father's Day!

Happy Anniversary to El Centavo Malo!

Last night we all had a lot of fun at a local restaurant as family and friends came together to celebrate Fr. John Moneypenny's 10th anniversary as a Roman Catholic priest. Today being Father's Day and priests being our spiritual fathers, let me extend me and my family's best wishes to you, Big Boy, and here's to many more years of your friendship and service as a priest! Your Mom told me I have to take care of you, so I guess that makes you family! ;-)

And a shout-out to Walter and Martha - it was great seeing you guys again! Next time, we'll pop over to Phoenix!

This was a page from the little memory book put together for the occasion. C'mon, who doesn't love a baby picture?

Flip This Video

Oh, I got me a new toy to annoy folks! I purchased a Mino (pronounced "minnow") from Pure Digital after reading about it in The Wall Street Journal. Seeking to capitalize on the YouTube craze, Pure Digital has created for under $200 a video camera about the size of the iPod Nano.

Very cool! Of course, now I am sticking it into everyone's faces. Last night I had a purse of Moneypennies (sort of like a pod of whales, or a gaggle of geese, it's my own term when I have two or more of this family in my backyard, and last night there were four) over for BBQ - my friend, Fr. John, is a technogeek, so I had to show off my new toy. Here he is looking for his five seconds of fame on the Internet.

I really think this is a clever gadget. It is not meant to be fancy, but for the price, it's comparable with video clips made on point-and-shoot cameras and thesound quality ain't bad. I will try it later today in my church to see how it handles low light. Today's 5:00 pm Mass is a celebratory Mass for John - this is the 10th anniversary of his ordination!

Katholic Kitsch Kontest

Oh, I'm going to Hell for excessive use of the letter "K", but before the auto-da-fe starts, go over and check out the Carolina Cannonball's contest. I love kitsch and if the Proddies are going to condemn us Catholics for too much regalia, then I say, let's give them something to bitch about!

Allah 2, Christ 0

Arrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!

From Fox News:

An English teenager died from complications two weeks after taking two abortion pills, her mother told an inquest into her death this week.

Manon Jones, 18, described by her mother as a devout Christian teen, opted to terminate her pregnancy at six weeks because she feared the pregnancy would cause conflict within her "Muslim" boyfriend's family, the Daily Mail reported Friday.

The cause of her death was hypovolemia, an abnormal decrease in blood volume, and shock caused by "retained products of conception," including the embryo, Dr. Hugh White told the inquest.

Here is the story from The Daily Mail. I am confused as to why Fox News chose to refer to the father as a "Muslim." His name is Haeem Muzaffar. Call me The Profiler, but I'm thinking he is indeed Muslim - without the quotation marks and as The Daily Mail described him.

Scalia is Pissed

And with every right to be. Catholic blogdom's resident legal scholar, Kit, has a superb post on the decision by the Supreme Court regarding the Gitmo detainees and I urge you to link over and read it. She includes excerpts from Justice Scalia's dissent, which can only be described as "blistering."

I will share with you what the DigiSpouse said when I read him some of the dissent: "Do you know what this means? It means 'take no prisoners' - just kill them on the battlefield."

Indeed, give no quarter because the Supreme Court has given none to us.

Obscure Music Friday II

This song is jacked and I thought it so bizarre that I first heard it while driving through the IE[1]. Warning: profane language, including the f-bomb. You have been warned!

Song: Sittin' At a Bar

Artist: Rehab

Why I Like It: Because it simply speaks to the type of folks I have to track on *#$&@! MySpace.

[1] "The IE" stands for the Inland Empire, aka "the 909" that refers to the local area code. It is the area of eastern Los Angeles county, western San Bernardino county, and northern Riverside county that has a reputation of being one giant trailer park of meth labs, Babby Daddies, and pit bull breeders with fully inked sleeves. And you people in "the 951" - you're no better.

Obscure Music Friday

Go on, what's a pirate's favorite letter . . . . ?

Song: We Are the Pirates (Who Don't Do Anything)

Artist: Relient K

Why I Like It: First of all, I am familiar with this song from watching Veggie Tales. If you have never seen a Veggie Tales episode or movie, well, maybe you have no young children. But they are funny, hysterically funny, and teach Bible stories. Here is a grown-up version of one of their Silly Songs With Larry skits.

Keep Posting, Dear

You know what I love? Dumb-ass opposing parties who never learn that all the crap they post on MySpace or Facebook will just come back to haunt them in legal filings. Thank you, thank you, thank you for continuing to make my job of making you appear like a worthless skank in front of the Judge all the more easier!

Driving Miss Digi

I can say I have adjusted my driving habits given the fact that by summer's end I will likely have to get a second mortgage to afford a tank of gas. I am going A LOT more slowly. I am using my cruise control to maintain steady speed. I am making sure tire pressure is correct and keeping an eye on maintenance schedules for my car. I no longer take off like a bat outta hell at a green light. And I am amassing mentally a list of gas stations in various places around the Southland where I know I can find "cheap" gas (Arco station at Philadelphia and Haven in Ontario, CA - $4.29/gallon!).

But I try to keep up my sanity with a little levity.

Marriage = Entitlement

Talking yesterday with the Liar Cubana at lonche, she related to me a story from this past weekend, where she and her husband were at a restaurant watching basketball playoffs and were treated to some Sapphic public displays of affection at the bar, which, unfortunately, was between their table and the TV screen.

It reminded me of the story I heard last week about the outrage expressed by a lesbian attending a baseball game in Seattle after an usher at the stadium asked her to stop kissing her girlfriend when other fans complained. In response to that, said a spokesman from Equal Rights Washington, "Certain individuals have not yet caught up. Those people see a gay or lesbian couple and they stare or say something."

Back to yesterday's lunch . . . one of our mutual observations was that the recent decision by the California Supreme Court will have an effect beyond wedding licenses in that gays will expect that their lifestyle must become part of the social fabric and setting, which means for those who find it distasteful, we are the ones who "have not yet caught up." We are not entitled to protest homsexual behavior in front of our children. Instead, tolerance will become acceptance and anything less will not be, well, tolerated.

Anyone want to weigh in?

Indian Princesses

This weekend I was on the road again, but not too far - just down to Mission Bay in San Diego to attend the 2008 Campland for the YMCA Indian Princesses.

The Indian Princess program is one designed for girls and their fathers. I think it is splendid, as they do the types of activities that fathers and daughters should be doing together, including sleeping in tents and building campfires. As a family law attorney, I try to stress to my clients that children need both parents and a girl who has a close relationship with a father willing to put forth the effort in programs like this is less likely, I believe, to wind up a victim of domestic abuse and will be more likely to succeed in her relationships and endeavors.

The last activity of the year is Campland and the rest of the family is invited. One competition was the sand castle building contest. First, the girls and their Dads of the FOX TRIBE of the FRIENDLY SPIRIT NATION:

And their entry in the competition, a giant Croc shoe:

But, of course, after the judges came by, the girls jumped on it to destroy it utterly, proving that little girls can be just as rambunctious as little boys.

The Longest Day

Every year I make this tribute to my father.

Francis Xavier Martin was born February 24, 1925, in Fall River, MA. Red hair, green eyes, freckles - he was the epitome of a hard scrabble Irish boy who came from the wrong side of the tracks.

In February 1942, he turned 17 and convinced my grandmother to sign a waiver that would let him leave high school and enlist in the Marine Corps. At the end of his boot camp at Parris Island, he was given the chance to volunteer for a "special" Army unit. As Dad recalled, "I was 17 and full of piss and vinegar . . . so I raised my hand." He found himself in a new unit - Darby's Rangers.

He was there in the early morning hours of June 6, 1944. Dad was 19 years old - years later when he volunteered at the VA and worked with men who had served in Vietnam, he said they got along because "I knew what it was like to lose my childhood to war." My father told me about that day - men who jumped off the landing craft too soon and drowned from the weight of their gear, pink water, seeing a buddy's head and torso and nothing else lying in the sand. My father said it was like a stop action film - at times he had remarkable clarity of what was going on around him, and then suddenly he would be another 25 yards ahead and had no memory of how he got there. He remembered pausing at the base of the cliffs, looking up and seeing the Germans firing down at him, and thought, "Well, this is going to be a bitch." And he said he then calmly threw up his rappelling hook and did what he came to do.

We lost Dad on May 16, 1995 to cancer. At his request, he is buried at Calverton National Cemetery in Long Island, NY. He asked to be placed in a section with other WWII veterans. He is there, among his comrades. But throughout his life, every patriotic holiday came in second in his mind - always first was June 6th, a day that was a moment of definition for my Dad.

God bless my father - Francis, Frank, Frannie, "Red", however he was known - and his fellow US Army Rangers.

Obscure Music Friday

In honor of those men who stormed the beach at Normandy, France 64 years ago today.

One of them was a 19-year-old soldier, Frank Martin, of New York City. That was Dad.

Song: Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy (of Company B)

Artist: The Andrew Sisters

Why I Like It Because my Dad did. 'Nuff said.

Job Security

'Grey's Anatomy' Star T.R. Knight: Teen Boyfriend Might 'Raise Eyebrows'

"Grey's Anatomy" star T.R. Knight says the 16-year age difference between
him and his 19-year-old boyfriend is "bound to raise some eyebrows."

"But we love each other," Knight, 35, told "Extra" on Wednesday. "He's an amazing guy."

An attorney for whom I once worked, the incredibly talented Michael Fisher of Orange County, remarked that while he would not go so far as to call the business of family law "recession-proof," it did run on human nature and that has not changed for several millennia.

Strange Brew

Beale Street delivers the unexpected, the amusing, the odd . . .

Behave

Tater Red's is a shop on Beale Street that has the jimjams you need to get your mojo working. I discerned evil lurking in the corners but I did not tell the girl behind the register. She would not have believed me anyhow.

Watchkeep

Brother Solomon said he liked to make sure people heard the truth about the story behind the motel. And he told me. But he didn't think any of those cars belonged to the Rev. King.

Protest

Miss Jacqueline Smith told me that she was mad because they spent $10 million to renovate the building from which James Earl Ray fired his kill shot at the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., but no money was given to the low income families in the area. Now the area of South Main Street near the Lorraine Motel was becoming a trendy spot for art shops and restaurants and the gentrification was driving out the poor people.

She told me Brother Solomon showed me the wrong window and pointed me to the right one.

This Is Where It All Began

Well, it's one for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
Now, go, cat go!
But don't you step on my blue suede shoes . . .

Michael

Michael is four years old. He saw that I had a camera. Michael came right up to me and asked, "Ma'am, would you take my picture?" As soon as I raised my camera, he struck this pose.

How can you not love children?

You Don't Know Sh . . .

'Snuff Said

Alpha Kappa Alpha

Happy Centennial, you sisters of Alpha Kappa Alpha! Founded 100 years ago at Howard University, it is the first African- American sorority in America!

And while visiting The Pink Palace in Memphis, I saw an exhibit that they had on the sisterhood and had the splendid opportunity to meet some of its members. The woman in the middle was a delight - she has been a member for the last 50 years!

Now, as it happened, I had on olive drab shorts and a pink polo top that day - these ladies were quick to point out that I had inadvertently done them the honor of wearing Alpha Kappa Alpha's colors of pink and green.

Doctors, lawyers - an astronaut who took the sorority's colors aboard one the space shuttles! - some of the finest have been proud to call this their sorority.

You go, ladies!

Street Acrobat

Just one more posting before I leave for work. These are boys who do amazing back flips on Beale Street in Memphis for tips. It was shot in color but I just wanted to see how it looked in B&W.

I was walking in Memphis.

Walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale.

To a smaller scale, Beale Street is to Memphis what Bourbon Street is to New Orleans.

Can't Throw a Rock and Not Hit One

I managed to fill a 4GB card with pictures (although bear in mind I shoot in RAW format). That means a lot of snaps to wade through.

However, for anyone who lived in the South and had to move away, here is a shot of the Digidaughter at supper - c'mon, you know where this was taken. And you know what is in her glass. And you know what she's doing. C'mon, say it, say it!

And yes, she is wearing her new favorite t-shirt, featuring scuba-diving unicorns with the words, "Noooo!!! Fugu!!"

Quick Thoughts While on the Road

Last day in Tennessee and the Digidaughter and I are going to go and visit "Old Hickory's" plantation before getting on a Southwest flight. I will be back to blogging tomorrow but while there is no one standing behind me looking pissed at the Drury Inn's one Internet connection, just want to put down some quick thoughts:

• Southern food is marvelous. Southern food is great. In Memphis, I had three straight days of BBQ. I need some Metamucil.
• Who buys an annual pass to Graceland? And yet, it is available.
• Civility is not dead - it is alive in Tennessee.
• Seeing a sign, "Tornado Shelter" in a mall is a sobering thought.
• Animals are smart in Tennessee - minimum road kill along the sides of the highways. But a good number of roadside memorial crosses that make you wonder about the humans.