The Resolve of Resolutions

UPDATE: The Digihusband and Drusilla, the Digidaughter, made it to midnight. Octavian, the Digison, and I did not. Nor did Dante, who snored away on the floor by my side of the bed. Brother Louis was out somewhere catting around . . . literally.

New Years Eve is coming up, and while I do not follow the practice of being at a loud, boisterous party at the stroke of midnight, I do indulge in that yearly exercise of the New Year resolution.

You know those - with a new year, the mind figures, well, now is a good time to adopt some resolution that will make me a better person in 2008, not, of course, that the 2007 person was all that bad, perhaps a little soft around the middle, and you know, I could stand to eat a little better, in fact, I think I will plan on January 1st by getting up and having a egg-white omelet with fresh spinach and stone-ground wheat toast with flax seed, all to be washed down with some carrot-and-wheat-grass juice, after which I will get out and walk . . no, jog . . . no run five miles. And I'll do that every day. And I'll stop smoking. And watch less TV. And pray the Rosary twice a day.

Truth is, the enthusiasm lasts until about 10:00 am on January 1st, 'round about the same time we are having another cinnamon roll while watching the Rose Parade in our pajamas, some of us having fallen asleep the night before with our makeup on such that we're sporting masacara shiners. And thinking, uh oh, I had one glass of champagne too many last night and woke up this morning with the telephone clutched in my hand . . . who did I call at 2:00 am?

But it does not have to be as dismal a picture I paint. Instead, this year I will aim small. If I set the bar low, how can I fail?

1. I will find and acquire the song "I'm So Pretty" as done by the alternative band, Betty, and what some people may recognize as the opening for the TV show, Fashionably Late with Stacy London.

2. I will finish - finally! - reading G.K. Chesterton's book, "Orthodoxy."

3. I will make sure I wash my face every night and apply moisturizer. Just because I'm tired/it's cold/Project Runway is on is no excuse not to scrape off the makeup.

4. I will pray the Divine Office during Lent each day.

5. I will minimize my use of potty mouth, damn it.

6. I will attend Mass at other parishes. Sometimes it helps to remind oneself of the universal nature of the Catholic church and get away from what may have become too routine in one's own parish. When I went down to visit Gem of the Ocean, it was refreshing to go to Mass at a different church.

7. I will work on procrastinating less . . . tomorrow.

8. I will not drink poor-quality wine. Note I did not say cheap wine - there are decent vintages out there that won't break your budget.

9. I will vote for the candidate I feel is most qualified. IMHO, that is Fred Thompson.

I suppose other resolutions will suggest themselves. Right now I have two children eagerly blowing their horns and playing with the noisemakers I bought for them, although we have about another four hours until midnight. I have a seriously sulking cat, Brother Louis, who is pissed that I am babysitting der Schnauzer while his father is away for the week in Utah and Colorado (I did not want Dante left alone in the backyard at midnight when Santa Ana erupts with gunfire) - pissed off enough to where he turned his feline nose up at shrimp. I have the said Schnauzer wondering why he is here, just where is his father, and hey, these kids are pretty cool to play with! And the Digihusband is playing with his new Garmin GPS system while sitting in his Man Den. In short, it is chaos and I have retreated to my computer for some solitude for a few moments . . .

To all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here is to health and happiness in 2008, God willing!

For Gem of the Ocean

I had the pleasure last night of attending Mass at the Church of the Immaculate Conception in Old Town San Diego, after which I broke bread (okay, tortilla chips) with Karen, the Gem of the Ocean. I have never met a fellow blogger in real life before and the conversation was as refreshing and funny as her blog's writings.

Oh yes, and the Sainted Fr. S. is a cherub and a delight. I very much enjoyed talking to him after Mass and he graciously blessed me and the Digikids.

Karen, we will get together again in 2008. I saw your comment about my obscure musical leanings, so as a shout out to a topic we covered last night, here's a link to one of my favorite rock songs, noted for some outstanding guitar playing but enjoyed by me more so for the title and lyrics of the song (unfortunately Sony Music disabled the embedding, so a link to YouTube will have to suffice): Cult of Personality by Living Colour.

Shufflin' iPod Meme

I hear all the cool kids are hitting "shuffle" on their iPods (those old and those obtained from Santa at Christmas), and baring their souls as to what kind of music they prefer. My tastes are pretty eclectic, so I cannot promise myself that a few of these will prove to be embarassing. Notwithstanding the risk, here we go . . .

1. A Little Too Late by Toby Keith. Love him for being an unbashed American country boy.

2. The Ol' Beggars Bush by Flogging Molly. Despite the onanistic sound of the band's name, I am assured by the DigiStepSon that the group got its name from their spirited performances at an Irish pub called Molly's in Los Angeles.

3. I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. I grew up in the 70's so I admit to disco tracks on my iPod. I have a lovely memory of singing this with a group of people in a waiting lounge at Orly Airport in Paris in the summer of '80.

4. Dance This Mess Around by The B-52's. This was from their first album when they were still playing clubs in Greenwich Village, noted for its memorable query, Why don't you dance with me, I'm not no limburger, and the use of a toy piano to keep the beat.

5. Citizen Ship by Patti Smith. Obviously, my early years in college at New York University are coming back to haunt me this morning. Patti Smith, CBGB's, quaaludes . . . the early 80's exposed me to punk, new wave, and some hard living. A testament to the saving power of guardian angels.

6. Clair de Lune by Debussey and performed by Tomito. I first learned to appreciate Debussey's work with this album by a Japanese electronic artist (oddly enough, first heard when I was at NYU). If you see a copy of his album Snowflakes Are Dancing, I recommend it for its unusual interpretation of Debussey.

7. The World by Brad Paisley. I adore Brad Paisley and a highlight of 2007 was seeing him perform in concert. I was never a huge country & western fan, but I have come to enjoy certain artists and Brad ranks on top in my world. I also admire the fact thet he is not ashamed to include religious themed songs on his albums without it becoming "Christian contemporary", which I find to be mostly cloyingly sweet.

8. Make a Mistake With Me by Brad Paisley. Whaddaya know?

9. We're Going to Be Friends by The White Stripes. As any fan of Napoleon Dynamite knows, this is the song played during the opening credits of the movie.

10. Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, k. 525 by Mozart. I know Ma Beck will be pleased that this appeared on my iPod. Mozart is the master. I have visited Salzburg and I was amused by just how many things there are named after Mozart. After visiting Mozartplatz, one can amble down Mozartstrasse and stop in at Mozartkafe for some Mozarttorte and Mozartbier. Rock me, Amadeus! (Yes, I have that song on my iPod, too)

And the bonus track . . .

11. Pig's in Zen by Jane's Addiction. Say what you will, Nothing's Shocking was, in my opinion, the seminal album for what became known as "alternative music."

Great Quotes at Work

In dealing with a case with a biological father was rather fertile and prolific in the number of offpsring he left behind, one of my paralegals came out with this gem:

"Damn! You can't throw a rock at a schoolyard and not hit one of his kids!"

I'm telling you, this is why there are times I absolutely love my job . . .

He Wasn't Joking . . .

I am reminded that today is the feast day of St. John the Evangelist. I invite all those who are considering entry into the Catholic church - or those whose grasp of the Divine Mystery that occurs at each Mass is less than firm - to read Chapter 6 of St. John's Gospel and carefully consider Jesus' words. He wasn't joking, folks, and it is difficult for me to see how anything less can be read into those words.

Benazir Bhutto, RIP

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Manly Priests Rock!

Man, oh man, checking out Fr. Martin's blog and Fr. Erik's blog, I wish I lived within easy distance of Utah and Ohio to attend Mass on occasion at their parishes! I've already decided, I must go down to San Diego to hear the Sainted Fr. S. preach, as I have it on good authority that he may take his time doing so, but it is a hearty meal for the soul!

I always enjoy reading Fr. Martin's homilies, as it is apparent that (a) he puts time into preparing them, because if not, then (b) he's a genius.

And Fr. Erik is just wicked twisted, especially with that Christmas deer display he has on his blog (wrong in so many ways, yet delightful). I would like to hear his homilies - maybe he will consider posting them as well.

Manly priests, priestly priests - they simply rock!

Merry Christmas to One and All

It is 6:00 am on the morning of Christmas Eve and I have a lot to do still, but I want to take the time to wish all who pass by here a Merry Christmas.

While I know dates and times are not exact, on Christmas Eve my thoughts go to a young woman, just barely 15 years old, perhaps, who is in the final stages of her pregnancy. I emphasize - I remember the discomfort at that point and the thought of having had to travel on a donkey's back in such a condition is staggering.

Moreover, she is to give birth to her first child, so added to the physical discomfort is the anxiety of the unknown. The typical picture of this time of Madonna and Child shows a very serene looking Mary holding her Babe. I think of what that scene looked like a few hours earlier. As much as Our Mother has had greatness bestowed on her, at that moment I believe she was tired and scared. She knew the Child she would bear would be God's Son and accepted that - but I can imagine that as the contractions grew stronger and she was alone with an older husband and no other family, especially someone like St. Anne or St. Elizabeth, to help her through this, perhaps she would have fleeting moments of doubt - was the angel a hallucination? Would Joseph accept this child? What if the child is stillborn? But just as faith would sustain her Son some 30 years later at Gethsemame, she labored on.

And St. Joseph - at this moment, before the birth, he is a hero. He has saved her from shame by marrying her, he has chosen to follow the Lord's demand of him. Now he must play midwife to a young and helpless woman. Being older, it is likely he has some knowledge of what happens at birth, but also likely it is very rudimentary - men simply were not present when a child was born, as that was "women's work" in those times, and Judaic law would have made the childbed an "unclean" spot. He must help see the Savior into the world - Joseph knows this and knows there is no room for error. I imagine he is as scared as Mary, but for her, he puts on a brave face, assuring her that she is doing well and all will turn out alright. He might even have looked around and despaired for a brief moment that the best he could provide this night for his wife and Child was a stable, and felt both helpless and frustrated that this should be happening at home, but he must obey civil authorities and go to register his family. But he has faith as well, and uses his rough carpenter hands to prepare a birthing area, and catch the Newborn when He emerges.

The facts are against them. The youth of Mary. The inexperience of Joseph at midwifery. Mary's fatigue after travel and now having to birth a child. The lack of sanitary conditions in a stable. The fear of being miles from home. The weight on both of their minds that the Baby to be born must, must be taken care of because He is so special a child, and that God has placed that responsibility on them alone.

But Mary had faith. And Joseph had faith. And faith is hope.

Spe salvi facti sumus.

Long lay the world, in sin and error pining;

'Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth . . .

Blogging Plaigiarism

I was checking some Polish recipes online, since although it is traditionally eaten at Lent, The Plant Whisperer asked me to kake mushroom cutlets for Christmas Eve. I noticed that when I googled "Viglia" and "Polish", this woman's article came up, posted on November 3, 2007:

Happy Birthday, Maryanna Niedzlekowski Roszkowski

I started reading it and discovered that she had transplanted my grandmother's story into her own!

Read my blog post from March 11, 2006:

Happy Birthday, Wanda Witowska Koretzky

The two are essentially identical. How friggin' bizarre is that?! Who is this Mary Roszkowski in Milwaukee? Consider:

I wrote: "Egad, I just realized that yesterday was the anniversary of my maternal grandmother's birthday. Ah, Grandma always knew I could run a little behind, so I am sure she would understand . . ."

Ms. Roszkowski wrote: "Oops, I just realized that yesterday was the anniversary of my paternal grandmother's birthday. Ah, Buschia (Polish for Grandma) always knew I could run a little behind, so I am sure she would understand . . ."

I wrote: "Wanda was the first child of Polish immigrants, Apolonia and Stanislaus Witowski, their new baby born March 10, 1908, in the United States to where they had immigrated only a few years before, coming through Ellis Island."

Ms. Rszkowski wrote: "Maryanna was the oldest child of Polish parents, Anastasia and Roman Niedzlekowski, born March 10, 1908, in the United States to where they had immigrated only a few years before, coming through Ellis Island."

I wrote: "After living for awhile in New York City, the family - now with three more children, John, Stanley, and Edward - moved to Michigan. It was there that Wanda went through an episode in her life that she never forgot - the dreaded Spainish Influenza that raged after WWI. The picture above is a digital collage I did, showing Wanda at about the age she would have been during the plague, and her memories of it that years later she told me: "I remember the white sheets, blowing in the wind, that people hung to show there was sickness in the house." I believe her father and a brother contracted the flu, but thankfully recovered."

Ms. Roszkowski wrote: "After living for awhile in Chicago, the family - now with three more children, John, Michael, and Edward - moved to Milwaukee. It was there that Maryanna went through an episode in her life that she never forgot - the dreaded Spanish Influenza that raged after WWI. She would later tell my father about her memories of that time: "I remember the white sheets, blowing in the wind, that people hung to show there was sickness in the house." I believe her father and a brother contracted the flu, but thankfully recovered."

I wrote: "The family moved back to New York City and years later Wanda attended nursing school and became what is known as an "infant nurse," because she loved the babies. While working at a children's hospital, a Polish man came in to visit his young nephew who was recovering from having his appendix removed. That man, Michael Koretzky, noticed the handsome young nurse and began his courtship. They married and their first child, Dorothy, would later become my mother."

Ms. Roszkowski wrote: "The family remained in Milwaukee and years later Maryanna attended nursing school and became what is known as an "infant nurse," because she loved the babies. While working at a children's hospital, a Polish man came in to visit his young nephew who was recovering from having his appendix removed. That man, Alfred Roszkowski, noticed the beautiful young nurse and began his courtship. They married and their first child, Harriet, would later become my father's oldest sister. "

I wrote: "Wanda loved her family. After the death of her mother in 1960, she brought her father into the two-family row house she owned with Michael in the Bronx. It was a cozy arrangement - in the downstairs apartment lived her and Michael, her father, and her oldest son, Michael (who, as a dutiful Polish son, would not move away from his parents until years later when he finally married), while in the upstairs apartment lived her daughter, Dorothy, with her husband Frank, and their three children."

Ms. Roszkowski wrote: "Maryanna loved her family. After the death of her mother in 1950, she brought her father into the two-family Polish flat house she owned with Alfred in Milwaukee. It was a cozy arrangement - in the downstairs apartment lived her and Alfred, her father, and my father (who was still in elementary school). While in the upstairs apartment lived her daughter, Harriet, with her husband, Michael, and their three small children."

I could go on - she even co-opts my grandmother's habit of feeding us "coffee and cake" and changes my grandmother's parish from St. Brendan to St. Joseph, which coincidentally is my current parish!

I saved a copy of this gluptok's blog page as an Adobe PDF file as proof - why the hell would she steal my grandmother's story?!?! How low is that?!

Contrast

Last night - 5:55 pm Amtrak out of San Diego.

Seated across the aisle from me was a young man, who immediately slumped down into his chair and listened to his rap music on his iPod. I knew it to be rap music because it was loud enough as if he were playing it without earphones, so much sound was escaping from his wee ear buds. I wondered how anyone could listen to music that loudly and directly into their ears.

The train went north and eventually we arrived in Oceanside. Three young men with very short haircuts got on, schlepping duffle bags in a camo pattern.

The first young man with the rap music got up to use the bathroom, as did one of the three young me. The first young man had jeans, I noticed, about 3 sizes larger than they needed to be, belted tightly around his lower hips, so that the tope was just at what I estimated would be his but crack. His boxers, thankfully, hid the actual butt crack since they were around his waist and extended well above the top of his jeans. The other young man followed behind him with a bag.

Time passed, and the first young man came back through the aisle, jeans still as low as before, casting sullen looks around him, where he slumped back in his seat and pulled his baseball cap over his eyes. The rap music started up again.

The other young man followed shortly thereafter. He was tall and slender, and walked confidently along the aisle in his Marine Corps dress blues. His travel companions had been watching his other baggage, and then they took turns to go to the bathroom, coming out each time in their dress blues.

I spoke to the first young man.

Thank you, ma'am, for the compliment. I'm going home for Christmas, back to Austin, Texas. My Dad knows I'm coming, and he's in on the secret because it will be a surprise for Mom. No, ma'am, I did my basic training, now my buddies and me just finished recon school. Thank you, ma'am, and Merry Christmas to you and your family as well.

No, son . . . thank you. I do not think he realizes the Christmas gift I got from him.

Catholic Christmas Humor

Okay, this is one of my favorite priest jokes and it is one you can tell in mixed company - though not in non-Catholic company, as they simply will not "get it."

*Ahem*

God decided one day to reward three of his most loyal saints - St. Dominic, St. Francis of Assisi, and St. Ignatius Loyola. As their reward, God would have them mystically present at the Nativity of the Lord.

St. Dominic approached the Holy Family in the manger first, and fell to his knees to worship the Infant Jesus. "Oh Lord," he said, "what a manifestation of Logos, and that I am here to witness the metaphysics of the Incarnation! Truly, truly I am blessed!"

Then St. Francis of Assisi came forward. He fell to his knees to worship the baby lying in the straw. "Ah, Love, " he said, "look and see, even the animals acknoweldge Thee - all of Nature rejoices at Thy Birth! Truly, truly, I am blessed!"

And then St. Ignatius Loyola came forward. He knelt before the manger and gazed reverently for a few moments on the babe. He sighed deeply and smiled. Then he looked up at the Virgin Mary and asked . . .

"You got a school picked out for Him yet?"

Have Yourself a Weighty Little Christmas

I am no Scrooge when it comes to the Christmas holidays by any means. But I have to ask - is there a profession where mass quantities of holiday treats do not appear non-stop in the office kitchen/break room?

As I write this, having gone to our office kitchen to steam some fresh spinach to eat with my chicken-and-rice soup, I see that yet another vendor/service provider has delivered a large basket of chocolate chip cookies and peppermint brittle - which is deparately needed to offset the English shortbread, candy-coated dried cherries, and choclate-dipped Danish butter cookies that have arrived in the past few days.

Whew!

Law offices are notorious fat centers during Christmas. Court reporting firms want to thank you for your continued patronage. Attorney services (those who run to court for you to file pleadings) want to thank you for your continued patronage. Expert witnesses want to thank you for your continued patronage. Do they realize that you cannot continue to patronize them if the attorney is deep into a insulin-overload coma?

Grateful clients want to thank you. Dear clients, I adore your grandmother's rum ball recipe and your aunt Lulu's cheese straws are to die. Of course, a lovely gesture that really warms the cockles of a lawyer's heart (which exists, alledgedly) is paying your bill on a timely basis. Less fattening, too.

These latest cookies that were delivered? Heck, I might as well scotch-tape them to my asset, if you know what I mean, because that is where they will end up if I start eating them.

Oh, but who am I to complain? Keep it coming - never stop anyone from doing something they feel is charitable or giving. In fact, it might even be sinful to refuse such a gesture.

So, offer it up to God and pass me a gingerbread, will ya?

Puppy

The breeder sent me another picture of my puppy. My wee corgi is getting bigger each day. Within a few short weeks, she will be old enough to leave her mother and become my dog.

And yes, I am now more partial to naming her "Josie" than "Boo."

I wonder if I can book Cesar Millan for a training session? I love his show and while I realize some people do not like his training technique, I think he is spot on - dogs should be treated as dogs, not like humans!

Thanks, Ma!

Now I've got that damn song stuck in my head!

The winter makes people do strange things out there in Chicago.

Every Dog Has His Day

Taken at the Costa Mesa Bark Park today, when the Digidaughter and I took the Time Share Schnauzer over for a romp. I love watching canines playing.

Our Creche

With the Christmas tree also comes setting up the creche. I have a very special creche that was given to my parents as a wedding present, back in 1956. It is a Hummel Nativity scene, with each piece handmade by the German nuns who brought Bertha Hummel's creations to life.

This year started with a small panic when I could not locate the figurines. I feared that my husband had placed them in storage in anticipation of our move, despite his reassurances that they were somewhere in the house. As the kids and I readied the tree, he searched high and low . . . and happily found them. As I told him, I can have Christmas without a tree - I cannot have Christmas without my family creche.

I sent a text message to my priest, who was due to come over later that night for dinner - Can u bring holy h2o 2nite to bless my creche? I got my response - sure , no prob.

My sincere thanks to Fr. John Moneypenny who came with holy water and a book that contained the specific blessing for a Christmas creche - and more so to his sister-in-law, and now a friend of the family, Martha Moneypenny, who gave him water from Lourdes for the blessing! That was brilliant and such kindness! I later checked with my mother who said that despite all the years, she "never got around" to having the set blessed. Finally, it has been done and tonight it seemed different and more meaningful.

You will see in the picture that the figurine of the Holy Infant is not present, although it was when the set was blessed. On Christmas Eve, we follow another tradition from my family, when a child is chosen to read the story from the Gospel of Luke and Baby Jesus is placed in the manger - only then can Christmas "begin".

The practice of setting up a creche was popularized by St. Francis of Assisi. If you have not got one, now is the time to bring one into your house. It has always been such an essential part of Christmas to me and necessary for the home at the holiday.

A Christmas Tradition

The Digikids - December 2007

It occurred to me as we drove to the Christmas tree lot last Saturday that unlike many other families, I do not have pictures of my kids sitting on Santa's lap to chronicle their annual holiday. Instead, I have taken pictures of them goofing around in the Christmas tree lot whenever we have gone to buy the tree. It takes a lot of shots, I can tell you, but among all of them, I always manage to find one that I like.

By the way, I am not blonde - my husband was a tow-head when he was a child. My kids heritage is Polish-German-Irish . . . can you tell?

Everything's Coming Up Roses (for today)!

The desert and the parched land will exult; the steppe will rejoice and bloom.

They will bloom with abundant flowers, and rejoice with joyful song.

Rejoice, I say to you - REJOICE!

What? Where Was I . . . Huh?

A week of sitting ona jury and fighting the flu, each night falling into a Nyquil-induced coma. Finally feeling human again, which is no small feat. Back to blogging soon.

But hey - we got the tree today and it is up, along with my creche.

Naming the Dog

As you know, I am getting a puppy for Christmas, which I will pick up just before the New Year, when she is weaned. That is her to the left.

I had thought I would name her Boudica, after the ancient Celtic queen, and call her Boo for short.

Last Sunday, at our annual parish Christmas dinner dance, my friend and pastor came up with this suggestion - Josie, after our parish patron, St. Joseph. I dismissed his suggestion out of hand at the time. However, two days ago, it kept coming back into my mind. Hmmmm . . . Josie.

Now, Lou the Cat Who Is Too Friggin' Cool For Anybody is still with us. I thought, well, "Lou" and "Boo" could get confusing . . . Of course, there is the play on "Josie and the Pussycat." Those of my age will get the joke.

So, I am now down to two names - Boo and Josie. I won't pick up the puppy until the last weekend of this month, when she is weaned, so I have until then to decide. Knowing that People Who Read Blogs tend to never have problem coming up with an opinion, give me your thoughts.

BTW, Dante, my Time Share Schnauzer, had quite the social fete today. At the suggestion of the Digison, we went to a new bark park today (Costa Mesa), where once again Dante hung out with the pit bulls (I think he's trying to develop some "street creds" and shed the dorkiness of being a "priest dog"). Of course, every trip to the bark park ends with a quick swing by Petsmart, today for a pig's ear. Then he went to my house and caught the "sudden death" OT win by the San Diego Chargers. Then Dante attended the annual Floral Park Christmas Party in my neighborhood, where he played with children in the snow they trucked in, gobbled dropped cookies (and those offered by suckers . . . I mean, soft-hearted children), hobnobbed with neighborhood dogs, had his picture taken with Santa, and even took a ride in a mule-drawn carriage to view the Christmas lights.

I think Dante was ready to write a letter - Dear Daddy, it's been nice being your dog, but . . .

(In case, he's lurking about - no, Father John, I will not abscond with your dog. That would be a sin. Thou shalt not covet thy pastor's dog if you ever want to receive absolution again or have to suffer the pains of being "volunteered" in retaliation by thine pastor for various parish committees and ministries.)

Christmas Meme

I don't do the "indirectly tagged" memes - unless I have something fun and snarky to say - but when someone asks me, as Gem of the Ocean did, how can I say no?

(Karen, heads up - the time will come soon when you are getting ready for the 5:15 pm Sunday Mass at your church, and woman will appear and call your name, and it won't be the BVM, so please, refrain from immediately dropping to your knees, dear, because you'll just embarrass both of us . . . and Peterkins better be talking to you, because what the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks am I going to do with all this special order frozen moose?!?!)

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

Oh, please, one must use wrapping paper - I have even been known to incorporate the Sunday funnies, as well as plain, brown paper bags that I have hand-decorated. I am not a good wrapper and I am amazed by some people who can create gorgeous gifts with elaborate wrapping, but there is so much more fun in tearing away than lifting out.

2. Real or artificial tree?

Real - I adore the smell of pine in my house at the holidays. When I was a child, we had an artificial tree every year. I suppose us being the hardy country folk we were, what with living in the wilds of the Bronx in our apartment, the artificial tree was more appropriate. Plus, Mom hated vacuuming pine needles. For some strange reason, however, our parents insisted that "putting up the Christmas tree" was a two-day process - on Day One, the artificial tree had to be assembled and then left alone so the branches could "settle". I tried to argue that placing the lights, ornaments, and garland would cause the branches to "settle", but my words fell on deaf ears. BTW, in addition to the fake tree, we had no fireplace, so every year my father would turn on WPIX-11 in New York City, that would broadcast an uninterrupted shot of the Yule log burning at Gracie Mansion (the mayor's official residence) with Christmas music playing. Fake tree. Fake fireplace. However, our family sentiments were real, thank God.

3. When do you put up the tree?

Within Advent certainly and usually about two weeks prior to Christmas. This year it will be December 15th. And unless there is something wrong with the tree, such as it drying out too fast to where it becomes a fire risk, it will damn well stay up until the Feast of the Epiphany! I hate seeing Christmas trees tossed on December 26th! What happened to the Twelve Days of Christmas?

4. When do you take the tree down?

See Number 3.

5. Do you like egg nog?

Meh. I can take it or leave it. Now, hot chocaolate with peppermint schnapps? Such that it tastes like you are drinking a Thin Mint with a kick? That's worth having! Also, the tradition with my husband and me is that Christmas morning starts with mimosas made with freshly-squeezed orange juice.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

Hands down - the "Creepy Crawler" kit! God, I loved making Creepy Crawlers! C'mon, c'mon, a show of hands - who remembers those things?

7. Did you have a Nativity scene?

Of course! My parents married in November 1956 and as a wedding gift, my mother's two younger brothers presented the couple with a full Hummel Nativity set, complete with manger. This was at a time when the German nuns were still hand-making each figurine and it is simply lovely. When I had my oldest child, my mother gifted me with the set, making me promise that when Katherine gets married, it will go to her and therafter be handed down from mother to child. We will figure out what to do if the lineage breaks, but in the meantime it is set up every Christmas in a place of honor.

8. Hardest person to buy for?

It was always my Grandfather, Michael Koretzky - so we always wound up with candy or razor blades for his shaver. He never complained and would be delighted every year when he opened the presents.

9. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

Honestly, I can't think of one. Maybe a "coffee table book" on something that did not really interest me? I do not like getting candy, so please, save the See's gift certificates for yourself.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?

Mail, if I ever get around to it. There are years when I don't - I like to do a newsletter, too, but I endeavor to make it actually interesting to read. Folks, no one wants to hear about the weekend back in May when you visited old friends and it was very nice, or the boils that Pete had to get lanced back in August. On the other hand, if any family members were arrested or have decided that they were born in the wrong gender and are going to do something about it, we're all ears. Pictures of new tattoos are also appreciated.

Speaking of pictures, for those who live in Southern California and like to include a family portrait, please note: THE PICTURE OF THE FAMILY IN JEANS AND LONG-SLEEVE WHITE T-SHIRTS ARTFULLY POSED ON THE BEACH WITH JAKE THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER HAS BEEN DONE! STOP IT!

11. Favorite Christmas movie?

First, please help us at my office convince our one attorney that despite what she thinks, Herbie the Elf on the "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" Christmas program is gay. We're not holding that against him, but that little "I want to be a dentist!" darling is flaming, Mariana!

Okay, back to the question - I like the 1951 "A Christmas Carol" with Alistair Sim as Scrooge. Love the quote by the Ghost of Christmas Present: "We Spirits of Christmas do not live only one day of our year. We live the whole three-hundred and sixty-five. So is it true of the Child born in Bethlehem. He does not live in men's hearts one day of the year, but in all days of the year. You have chosen not to seek Him in your heart. Therefore, you will come with me and seek Him in the hearts of men of good will."

12. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

First Sunday of Advent, usually. I avoid Black Friday like the Black Death.

13. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

No, but some have made their way to rummage sales.

14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Ah, in my childhood it was most of the Viglia, the traditional Polish Christmas Eve feast prepared from scratch by my grandmother. Nowadays, it is my husband's English Trifle that he makes for dessert every year. Honey, spare no expense with the bourbon, alright?

15. Clear lights or colored lights on the tree?

Pshaw - who would put up only clear lights?! Colored! BTW, I agree with the Caroline Cannonball - the proper sequence is lights, ornaments, garland. NO TINSEL!

16. Favorite Christmas song?

Let's make this clear - if it is a religious song, it's a Christmas carol, in which case the top prize in my book will always go to O Holy Night. I tear up at the lyrics:

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.

As for a Christmas song, again I need the Kleenex whenever I hear I'll be Home for Christmas. It was written in the midst of WWII, and you can imagine the longing in a GI's heart in Europe or Asia as he heard the lines:

I'll be home for Christmas,

If only in my dreams.

God bless our troops. Excuse me while I take a moment . . .

.

.

.

Okay, I can continue . . .

17. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

I've got kids, so we stay home. Kids should wake up on Christmas morning in their own beds at the crack of dawn, excited to see what Santa has done. Something I heard to do - take baby powder and a pair of rain boots, and make tracks going from the fireplace, to the tree, and back again. Guaranteed to make the eyes of young children grow HUGE. Yes, I do believe.

18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?

Um, let's see, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer (yes, I am typing this from memory), Vixen, Blitzen, Cupid, Comet, Stan, Fat Harry, yo' mama, Harvey Keck . . .

The answer is no.

19. Angel on the tree top or a star?

Angel, preferably. We have both and alternate each year.

20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?

Morning. When the kids get to be teens, then we will switch to Eve. The 7-year-old still believes in Santa Claus and the 10-year-old takes the Fifth on that issue.

21. Most annoying thing about this time of year?

People who say, "Happy Holidays!" Malls. Corporate Christmas parties.

22. Best thing about this time of year?

Birth of the Savior. However, with regards to the spirit of the season, I think no one put it better than Jackie Gleason in his role as Ralph Kramden, when he gave a speech about Christmas - watch it here and I dare you not to cry!

I tag anyone who actually likes fruitcake (the only person of whom I know was my father, Frank Martin, of blessed memory (+), who relished the abomination) .

Feast of the Immaculate Conception

Hail, Mary, full of grace - the Lord is With Thee.

Holy Mother, pray for my parish and my priests, especially today. And pray that I may keep my temper in check.

I just came back from my parish's celebration of Mass for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. You remember the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, yes? A feast day of Mother Church honoring the belief we hold that the Virgin Mary, the Mother of Christ Jesus and of us all, was conceived in the womb of St. Anne without sin, right? A holy day of obligation as a matter of fact . . .

I would not have been able to deduce that last point by the pitiful attendance at this morning's Mass at 9:00 a.m., which happened to be the only Mass offered today for Our Lady. Where was everyone? I can understand when a special Mass is said on a day like Labor Day and people do not show up because they may be away for the holiday weekend, but our faith - the one that sustains us and gives us strength - requires a relatively small sacrifice of giving up our personal time and making our way to church for the celebration of the Eucharist. Sundays and a handful of holy days of obligations - how hard is that?

And considering that January 1st, the Solemnity of Mary, or August 15th, the Assumption of the BVM, have been "abrogated" dare it fall on a Saturday or a Monday - by decree of the US Bishops - the least someone could do is show up on December 8th.

I issue a challenge to priests, especially those in the dioceses of California, where it seems we become increasingly Catholics of convenience more each day - if your pews are not full on a holy day of obligation, like today, THEN SAY SOMETHING to your flock. Be bold enough to say from the pulpit that it was not well-attended and as a spiritual leader concerned with the souls of your parishioners, they need to follow the precepts of the Church. Sure, you might piss someone off - just as Jesus did when He got tired of moneylenders and dove vendors polluting His Father's house - but no one said the job was going to be easy, and when you consider, good Father, what is at stake, then the discomfort of someone in the pew being reminded of their obligations as Catholics should not deter you.

Will that be done? Probably not . . .

Update: Please read Fr. Martin Fox's celebration of the Mass in honor of Our Lady. Beautiful! Perhaps someone would think, why bother if hardly anyone shows up - ah, but I am willing to wager that if it were THAT beautiful, and people knew it would be so, they would come . . .

Pathetic Peacock

Dear NBC:

I understand that you will not allow a commercial to air on your network. That commercial - sponsored by a group called Freedom's Watch - thanks our American troops for serving overseas.

But those crazy guys and gals at Freedom's Watch included at the end of the commercial their website address - and according to your director of research, that link "violates [your] policy on controversial issue advertising because it encourages political action and other activities."

Egad, not "other activities!" Of course, I always thought that the goal of advertising was to encourage something, like running out to buy the product of one of your sponsors who provide you with millions of dollars for the privilege of running their ads on your network. But maybe it is the "political action" that bothers you. Yes, yes, I can see that. So from now on, you'll stop running ads for Clinton and Obama, right?

Right?

Thought not.

Update: Whaddaya know? Looks like NBC has relented. I would like to think that the CEO heard the news, screamed, "WTF!?", and then called whoever made the decision into his office for a reaming. Christmas time! American troops! PR!

A Flurry of Some Jeers

Which rhymes with a jury of my peers, which means I have to report today for jury duty. In the past, attorneys were automatically excused because we are officers of the court, but no longer. On Tuesday I reported, got impaneled, and - whaddaya know! - got selected to serve on a jury.

I cannot talk about the case, of course, but there are times when I believe that if I were in a defensive position, given the choice of a bench trial or a jury of my peers, I will choose His or Her Honor. I am amazed how even the simplest, most direct question asked in voir dire (that is when the attorneys get to question prospective jurors and "deselect" them) are answered in a completely irrelevant manner. As a hypothetical (and unrelated to the case I am on):

Q: Do you have a family member who is currently in law enforcement?

A: My neighbor is a retired mail man.

I have little patience for the people who actually get steamed that they are picked as a juror. Time is money for me, too, buddy - but I believe in the American justice system and God forbid you find yourself someday as a party standing at counsel table, so suck it up and serve, a**hole! I am willing to bet that people who whine about "lost work" for the few days they are serving would find someway of losing that same work if someone offered them Super Bowl tickets or the chance to join the guys/gals in Vegas.

One young juror got a lesson in civics just before we were excused on Tuesday. He had submitted a "hardship" form earlier, which was denied. He got selected as a juror. He was sworn in as a juror. We had time after that to hear opening argument. Then we got excused for the day. That's when Sonny Boy raised his hand.

"Your Honor, I can't serve on this jury, 'cause if I'm not at work, I'm not gonna get paid, and then I can't pay my bills, so I just want you to know, I'm not coming back on Thursday."

Myself and another attorney on the jury visibly cringed. The judge affably leaned across his bench.

"That's okay, and thank you for letting me know. Of course, there will be a sheriff at your work on Thursday with an arrest warrant for you, and you'll be in jail, and you're not going to be able to work there as well, so perhaps you'll reconsider."

Then His Honor excused the rest of us, but asked Sonny Boy to remain seated and stay behind. I am guessing Sonny Boy will be at the courtroom door at 9 o'clock sharp today.

Solemn Vow

The horror . . .

I know someone will take me to task for this, but I feel I have to do this to protect the dignity of some of the women I know, both in person and on-line. While reading the com-boxes over at Gem of the Ocean's posting about the Pope's saturno (and a saucy one it is!), I saw that someone mentioned The Red Hat Society.

Now, I know that I have already taken a very solemn vow with several friends - such as Sweet Betsy from Pike, The Plant Whisperer, Momma, and the MVP - that should the day come when we are over the age of fifty, if any of us sees the any other lady wearing a purple dress and a red hat, the espying member of the group has the authority to shoot like a sick dog the purple-dress-red-hat-wearing member as an act of mercy, and the remaining members will appear as character witnesses at the trial. For the Catholic members, we also need a priest who would have an open mind about this in the Confessional and understand that for a woman to grow old and wind up line dancing in a drunken state at a Happy Hour while wearing this get-up is an abomination before the Lord and requires some smiting . . .

In bloggerdom, Kasia of The Clam Rampant and Tara of Loved Sinner have already signed on to this pact. If you would like, you can take advantage of this offer and let me know if you're in or you're out.

Now on board:

Karen at Gem of the Ocean

Ma Beck at World Wide Ward

Kit

Angela Messenger

Lily at Never Fading Wood

Look, if wearing a purple dress and a red hat rocks your boat, that's your thing. But as women mature, our hormones start doing some funkay thangs and it is at that time when you look at The Red Hat Society and think, You know, maybe I need a little silliness in my life. You do, dear, you do - but silliness can be achieved without a compromise to dignity, and it is the duty of likewise-aged women to keep our fellow sisters from falling into middle-aged mediocrity.

Yea, I say unto you, what woman would looketh upon her lone sister when she obtaineth her seventh cat and not sayeth, "Sister, thou hath become the Crazy Cat Lady of the neighborhood, and thou must now abstain, and spendeth your Saturday night with me, partaking of the margaritas." And lo, another woman shall be saved from the depths of stereotyping . . .

All Creatures Great and Small - Part 2

Cat

Well, Lou is still with us. I have not taken him to the vet yet, but someone identified him as "belonging" to another family in the neighborhood (and his gender), and then advised me to keep him as they were not pleased how that other family treated their pets.

Of course, I am not "keeping" the cat - indeed, one thing I am learning is that you do not own a cat, but it deigns to remain with you. Lou likes our house, he likes our family, and I secretly believe that my husband likes Lou, as he went and bought not just one, but two bags of cat food. Lou remains an outdoor cat, which means he can decide to leave when he wants. So far, he hasn't wanted.

Dogs

Someone asked whether getting a new pup will disturb the role I have as "Auntie Steph" to Dante, my Time Share Schnauzer. Oh, heavens no! In fact, Dante and I went out this past Saturday to the bark park - but it was so cold, we only lasted about an hour and Dante was quite agreeable to take a little side trip to Petsmart, where he got a hoof. When he saw me come into his yard at the rectory, he was literally going 4-foot vertical leaps, he was that excited about seeing me and heading out.

I have sent my deposit on my corgi puppy. I have decided to name her Boudica (click for the pronunciation and alternative spelling) and call her Boo for short. Boudica was a Celtic queen who led a revolt of her Iceni tribe against the Romans in 60 AD. It did not turn out too well for her, but her name means "Triumph" and corgyn are dogs with a feisty spirit.

Before she has all of her shots and can go safely to the dog park, I will arrange "play dates" with Dante to get her socialized with another dog (and so he knows that Boo will be a fixture on our outings). I do not expect any trouble as Dante is sweet-natured and not aggressive to other dogs.

8 Random Facts/Habits

I have heard memes desribed as the candy floss of blogging, but Father Dim over at The Spirit of Vatican 2 "catholic" Faith Community tagged me with this one.

1. Habit. When I am barefoot, I walk on my tippy-toes. I have done that ever since I was naught but a wee Digichild and unconsciously do it when the hoes and socks come off.

2. Fact. I have never touched a fish. With the good grace of God, I never will. I have a fear of dead fish and even live ones make me skittish. As an example, I do not go into the section of pet shops with all of the fish tanks for fear that I will see one - usually the damned goldfish - with dead fish floating. This is why I prefer to swim in well-lit, chlorinated swimming pools - lakes, rivers, and oceans are alive with fish, one of which might with all malice aforethought swim up and wiggle around my legs, causing instant shock and death.

3. Habit. When I make the Sign of the Cross, I murmur it in Polish, just as my maternal grandmother taught me. I do it as a way of honoring her. If you are with me in a setting where we are being led in prayer by a priest, no, I am not correcting Father under my breath when we get to that part. Now, if he would just do it in Polish, then I wouldn't do it . . .

4. Fact. I find circuses and ballet boring. For that same reason, I would chew off my arm before I allowed myself to be subjected to watching the musical, "Cats," which I thought simply sucked . . .

5. Habit. I use my late father's expressions. Again, as with my grandmother, I do so in honor of him. So, as an example, when somebody tells me, "Well, Attorney So-and-So wants . . . ", I reply, "Yeah, well people in Hell want ice water but they ain't getting any." Or, when someone asks me how it's going, I say, "Tips and all, since I got off the boat - not bad." And whenever someone boasts about something not-too-spectacular, I remind them, "That and a buck-and-a-quarter gets you on the subway." When I need a fictional character, I always cite Harvey Keck. Who was Harvey Keck? Mrs. Keck's baby boy. Trust me, ya hadda be there to understand that last one.

6. Fact. I hate milk with cold cereal and will eat it either dry or with plain yogurt. Yeah, I know yogurt is just curdled milk. Work with me on this, okay?

7. Habit. I like to undo my seatbelt sneakily in planes when we've landed and are taxing to the gateway, just to be a rebel.

8. Fact. I am 5'6" with a size 11 shoe. The "S" does not stand for "Stephanie", but "Sasquatch." Don't ask me how I got such big, ol' Bozo the Clown feet. They were a mere size 10 until I had children, at which point they grew to size 11 and stayed there. Eventually, I'll just buy the shoe boxes and lace them up. On the plus side, I save on ski rentals since I don't need any.

I gotta tag eight people? How about anyone who knows what I mean when I say, "The Dude abides . . ."

No Contempt for Bishop Brown

At least not from the Orange County Superior Court. I can't speak for the Catholics of the Diocese of Orange, as well as others in the county.

Did Brown really want to clear name?

Does this mean Monsignor John Urell gets to come home to spend Christmas with his family?

Merry Tossmas!

This was brought to my attention by the lovely AND hysterical, Martha Moneypenny, whom I think I need to nickname Phoenix Funny Lady, because she seriously is . . .

If it isn't the "holiday catalogs", it's the "2% APR deals" on lines of credit, all designed to make Christmas a debtor's holiday. The offers on credit are annoying because those you need to take the time to shred or risk identity theft.

But the catalogs at least offer the opportunity to view gifts that truly evoke the response, "Aw, gee - ya shouldn't have. No, I mean it - you shouldn't have . . ." So far, I have found one such item that makes me think, WTF?! Perusing my L.L. Bean catalog - which convinces me that every yuppie in New England wears flannel 9 months out of the year and makes me question whether it is de rigeur in Vermont society to own a Labrador - I found this item.

It's a shearling winter flip-flop. Not a shearling slipper - those you can buy - but a flip-flop. For $34.95. You know, those items you wear to the beach in the summer. Not when traisping through the New Hampshire woods to collect maple syrup.

But maybe those backwood folks are hearty souls. I must write L.L. Bean and suggest a flannel-lined bikini for clam bakes on the Maine beaches in January . . .

In the meantime, Merry Tossmas - I suppose there is a more green means of disposal, but there is something so satisfying watching something useless hit that ol' circular file . . .