So Fun a Caveman Would Do It . . . Again and Again . . .

Study: Prehistoric Man Had Sex for Fun

Timothy Taylor, reader in archeology at Bradford University, reviewed evidence from dozens of archeological finds and scientific studies for his research.

“The widespread lay belief that sex in the past was predominantly heterosexual and reproductive can be challenged,” said Taylor.

He argues that monogamy only became established as hunter-gatherer societies took up agriculture and settled in houses, allowing the social roles of men and women to become more fixed.

Halo, Stranger

Last night my 6-year-old son came to me.

"Mom, when we die, and go to heaven, and become saints, do we get to wear haloes?"

"Sure, Patrick."

"Are they little rings over our heads like the angels?"

"No, they're more like round, golden disks behind our heads."

"Good," he nodded, and walked away satisfied . . .

I hope this means he is aiming for canonization as one of his life goals.

Hope I Die Before I Get Old

When I am the age of these folks, I hope I'm still rockin'! This is worth it just to watch Grandma doing the Townshend windmill.

Caution: one obscene gesture involving a middle finger at the very end.

For Sale: 5BD, 3B, "Stunning"

Well, it is official. Our house has a "For Sale" sign in the front lawn and we are listed on the MLS.

I have to admit, I think it is funny how realtors describe houses to attract buyers. I look at my house and think of it as the home that I brought my babies home to from the hospital. It's the home where my husband and I nursed his mother in her final days of cancer and where she drew her last breath. It is the home where three dogs happily romped. I have cooked umpteen Thanksgiving dinners and my husband has done likewise for Christmas, and we have had friends and family over for Easter brunch. My lawn features the Dia de los Muertos ofrenda every Halloween and my husband spares no expense for July 4th fireworks which are ignited in the street out front along with our neighbors' own.

Our relator, however, has it described thusly:

NUSA 2005 Neighborhood of the Year! Enjoy the good life in this historic charmer nestled amongst beautiful tree-lined streets in Santa Ana's highly sought after Floral Park. This architecually stunning property boasts arched doorways, built-in cabinetry, pristine Oak and Pine hardwood flooring, and a cozy wood burning fireplace for those special evenings. Don't miss this rare opportunity to own one of the unique 5 bedroom and 3 bathroom homes in this family friendly neighborhood!

Therein lies the difference between a house and a home.

Well, Whaddaya Know . . .

I done passed the Tennessee bar examination!

Bad Art Saturday

I know he doesn't particularly care for me, but I still go over and visit the Catholic Caveman from time to time - only this last time, I have to say, I was truly aghast at what I found. He exposed what can only be called tasetless art done by a Franciscan, Brother Robert Lentz, OFM.

Now, mind you, I generally don't mind using traditional forms - in this case, iconography - apart from what it was intended to do. I am not really offended per se by a depiction of Albert Einstein as a saint because he was a religious and decent man, albeit not a Catholic. It is interesting, it is somewhat funny even, but not offensive. Dr. Einstein contributed much to science and for some people, I suppose that sets him apart. For you literary types, this same approach of using an icongraphic image was a central part of the story in Chaim Potok's novel, My Name is Asher Lev, where the young protagonist is ostracized by his Orthodox Jewish community because he used the image of a crucifix to portray the sacrifice and suffering of his mother in one of his paintings. As Asher states in the book, he had nothing with the same impact from which to draw and so I could see where someone wants to honor another person enough to where the archetype of "icon" - halo, hands extending in blessing - is used to protray that feeling.

However . . .

I am disturbed by Brother Lentz' pagan images - especially as they are coming from a professed religious. Take, as an example, this piece called Lord of the Dance. Brother Lentz gives an accurate description on his web site:

One of the most ancient masculine images of God in Europe is a benign antlered figure. This image predates Celtic civilization, but was embraced by the Celts for its beauty and truth. The Horned God was a protector of all animal life. He was especially linked with the masculine sexuality and spirituality. He was considered Lord of the Otherworld and guided souls to their destination after death. In Celtic art he is usually shown sitting cross-legged and wearing a torque -- the Celtic symbol of authority.

Super. Except when he goes on to say, Christian missionaries tried to stamp out the image of the horned god when they came to northern lands, yes indeedy, there is a reason for those insensitive missionaries doing so . . . because they were eliminating falsehood and enlightening the Celts with the Truth that is Jesus Christ. Jesus does not assume the image of the "old god" - He is the One True God. This image makes the Lord look like some simpering cross between Freddie Mercury and Geraldo Rivera with tree branches coming out of his head.

You want to see Jesus' masculinity? Look at a Crucifix - because it takes you-know-what to take up a cross for someone else's sins.

Thank God He's Not My Client . . .

. . . or I'd be reading him the riot act in my office about being an idiot.

Okay, folks, if you happen to find yourself in a custody dispute, take a cue from Alec Baldwin as an example of what not to do.

Do not call your 12-year-old daughter and leave a message along the lines of "I don't give a damn that you're 12-years-old or 11-years-old, or a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do" or "Once again I’ve made an ass of myself getting to a phone to make a phone call…I’m tired of playing this game with you. You have insulted me for the last time…You’ve made feel like shit and you’ve made feel like a fool over and over again…I’m going to straighten your ass out…You are a rude, thoughtless little pig."

You see, sometimes a 12-year-old is rude and thoughtless - that's because they are a child and has not matured psychologically to an adult level. Which means you cannot place adult exepctations on them. Which means you get frustrated, and sometimes ex-spouses do play games, but you do not leave messages like this that get transcribed into a declaration submitted to the Court.

Thank you . . . this has been a public service announcement from your friendly family law attorney. And to my fellow family law attorney colleagues - see? Even celebrity lawyers have to deal with clients doing really, really stupid things that make us have to tax our brains as to how to spin this one in front of the judge. I hope Alec at least pays on time.

And before someone emails me about "recording someone is illegal" - no, recording someone without their knowledge or permission is illegal, but when they knowingly leave a voice mail, they have tacitly consented to the recording.

So, When Does the Next Crusade Start?

I have always wondered whether one could combine a Southern BBQ with an auto-da-fe. And just what drinks would I serve at such an occasion?!?!

You’re St. Jerome! You’re a passionate Christian, fiercely devoted to Jesus Christ and his Church. You are willing to labor long hours in the Lord’s vineyard, and you have little patience with those who are less willing or able to work as you do. Your passions often carry you into temptation zones of wrath, lust, and pride. Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers!

God Have Mercy on Virginia Tech

It was with growing horror that my office followed today's events on the Internet. We can only offer our prayers for the victims.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord,

and let perpetual light shine upon them.

May they rest in peace.

Haven't I Got Enough On My Plate?

As Jeff over at The Curt Jester posts:

"Is there any connection this week between the Imus controversy and the death of Don Ho?"

Damn it, man, now I will up tonight pondering this one!

Smiles for a Monday Morning

Taken by me on April 15, 2007 at the

Great American Pet Expo

Orange County Fairgrounds in Costa Mesa, CA

copyright 2007

Can you tell I favor dogs?

Hey, My Mom Got a Kick Out of It

Well, I guess this makes me a published photographer (but please, no where near the level of professionalism you see coming from Gerald over at the Cafeteria - his work simply rocks).

The credit is on the side of the photos in really small print on pages 17 and 20 (by the way, we are the second-oldest parish in Orange County, after St. Boniface in Anaheim, since Mission San Juan Capistrano was a mission, but not a parish church until the 1900's).

Steyn's Take on Imus, My Take on the Women

It is with great delight that I read Mark Steyn's op ed piece in the Sunday edition of the Orange County Register, and this morning proved to be no exception. I invite all to read his take on the Great Don Imus Scandal. More particularly, I found this part insightful:

"So I don't know whether calling the Rutgers basketball ladies "nappy-headed hos" is a mean old white guy's racist slur or an artful parodic jest on the way black women are talked about by black men -- or at least by the ones on the record charts. After all, the only way mean old white folks know the expressions "nappy" or "ho" is because they heard 'em from hip young black folks. Indeed, one could argue it's a tribute to how non-racist America is that an elderly Caucasian would wish to talk like a gangsta rapper. What was it Martin Luther King dreamed of? A nation where men would be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their characterizations? "

And:

"It's a good rule of thumb in American scandals that, no matter how big an idiot someone is, the outrage over him will always be more idiotic. "

As the DigiHusband pointed out, if this had been Howard Stern, chances are good he would have answered the Rev. Al Shaprton's criticism by hitting the "play" button and broadcasting several hours of "gangsta rap."

I don't care if Don Imus is fired - the guy was never funny anyway - but the real tragedy here are the Rutgers players. I am discouraged by their reaction and jump to being victims.

"Other players echoed Carson's reaction, saying Imus' insulting words and the resulting controversy overshadowed their achievements."

Really? Frankly, those gals look pretty pathetic to me right now - I am going to turn 46 next week and if some dumb ass' comment "has stolen a moment of pure grace" as one player said, these girls are in for a tough life ahead. C'mon, you achieved so much and now you are talking about how Don Imus' comments have "taken a toll on [you] mentally and physically?" How did you feel about the quote that was also said in the broadcast on MSNBC with Imus, when the producer quoted Spike Lee: "jigaboos versus the wannbes?"

Ladies - you have achieved great things. But Don Imus' comments are trivial compared to some of life's greater challenges that lie ahead for you and do not give you an invitation to a pity party.

"This has scarred me for life," Rutgers junior guard Matee Ajavon said, adding it would be something she would be talking about the rest of her life.

I suggest that Ms. Ajavon has just compromised her own future, not Don Imus. Going through 9/11 is something you talk about for life. Surviving cancer is something you talk about for life. Having a real spiritual conversion is something you talk about for life. An idiotic comment is not. You have the opportunity to be of great service to other young women. Are you a victim of a stupdi remark? Yes - but only just that. Don't look for a moment of fame by casting yourself as a martyr.

Have a Laugh

1. Go to www.google.com.

2. Click on Maps.

3. Click on Get Directions.

4. Type in the appropriate boxes - From: New York, New York; To: Paris, France

5. Read Line #23.

6. Laugh.

Freeways of Love

My friend Ellen sent this to me. While it is a joke, sadly parts of it become reality more and more each day.

Driving in Los Angeles

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L. A.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon.The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy".

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. L A has its own version of traffic rules. For example,cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Malibu, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of L A and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. All detours end at Dunkin' Donuts or Winchell's.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers, shredded tires, cell phoners, deer and other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Mapquest does not work here, none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the freeway off and on ramps are moved each night.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time, just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noonThursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

Heh.

As a fan of Monty Python, all I can say, is that it looks like the Killer Rabbit has met his end (yes, I appreciate sick humor, and from a priest no less!).

Easter Sunday

“Why do you seek the living One among the dead? He is not here, but He has been raised."

Good Friday

Yet it was our infirmities that he bore,our sufferings that he endured,while we thought of him as stricken,as one smitten by God and afflicted.But he was pierced for our offenses,crushed for our sins;upon him was the chastisement that makes us whole,by his stripes we were healed.We had all gone astray like sheep,each following his own way;but the LORD laid upon himthe guilt of us all.

Holy Thursday

St. Joseph Church in Santa Ana, CA

April 5, 2007

The story behind the shot is that my camera was beneath my seat and all I did was hold it down by my feet, point it up, and hit the shutter - did not know what was in the frame or whether it was in focus - in fact, if my memory serves me, I had it on manual focus, not automatic focus, because I had been trying to get shots of the feet washing earlier but could not because of low light/no flash situation and auto focus does not work well then. I was pretty surprised when I downloaded ot this morning and found this what came out.

Opportunity Spoken Here

assimilate: (verb) to absorb (immigrants or a culturally distinct group) into the prevailing culture.

adapt: (verb) to make suitable to or fit for a specific use or situation.

Yesterday two incidents got me to thinking. In the first, a colleague and I happened to be at the same cafe having lunch and he showed me an article about the influx of immigrants into the Nashville area and the "English only" initiative that the city council had passed, only to have it vetoed by the mayor. The majority of the immigrants are Latino.

Print-shop worker John Taylor, a Nashville native, is worried that the new immigrants are not making enough of an effort to mingle, sticking to their own languages and settling in hermetic enclaves. To him, it feels like something the South has had enough of: segregation."I don't like the cordoning off of people," said Taylor, 34. "I'm not a big thumper for civil rights and what MLK did, but it was the right thing to do."

Then, at my church last night, we had a practice for the lectors who would be present at the upcoming Easter Vigil. A short - but tense - moment was felt when it was pointed out that, as in years past, the readings were largely in Spanish. The tension was not alleviated by the fact that the English-language lectors were present, but none of the Spanish-language lectors had come to the scheduled practice. The discussion was ended after it was pointed out that most of the people being received into the Church are Latinos and the decision had been made. Selah.

In my opinion, words have lost their meaning; hence why I chose to open this posting with two definitions. We often hear people say that immigrants should assimilate into the American culture. Well, that is nonsense because immigrants never had - to assimilate is akin to absorb, and absorbtion means that the character of what is absorbed is lost and merges into the whole. It's like a cake - a mixture of eggs, cream, and flour, but each component has lost its own character. Whether it is hearing El Grito on September 16th, marching in a parade behind pipes on March 17th, or dancing the tarantella for San Gennaro, immigrants have - and should - keep their culture intact. America is like a quilt and it would be a drab one without the colors we have.

That being said, I believe the Nashville initiative is the right choice because otherwise immigrants run the risk of becoming disenfranchised, and especially Latinos. The activists screaming for la raza only serve to keep their constituents down on the plantation. Instead, immigrants should strive to adapt - to make themselves suitable for a specific situation, and the situation is that to succeed in America, a person must make efforts to learn English and learn skills that make them a valuable commodity to an employer or to a customer. Instead, catering to the lowest common denominator - convincing a person that they need not make any effort to learn the predominant language but instead hold out for the infrastructure to change to meet their level - only serves to keep that person at the level at which they arrived here in the United States. And for many Latinos, that means poor, unskilled and unsophisticated, leaving them open and vulnerable.

What does that mean for an Easter Vigil service? I think that some thought should be given to rethinking the ethnic label of someone being received into the Church, since a Spanish surname does not a Spanish speaker make. And perhaps some thought should be given to the fact that many Latinos are bilingual. And maybe a phone call should be made to the lead person for the Spanish-speaking lectors to ask why they did not show up at practice - a community of faith should not be divided by language barriers, since we are all in this together. Have a bilingual service, but careful making assumptions based on ethnic demographics - all should feel welcome at the Easter Vigil.

A few years back, my parish offered Spanish lessons to members of the parish that were short-lived. Indeed, what a waste - a better use of resources would have been to provide ESL classes to the parishioners who spoke only Spanish so they could forge a better life in this country.