When your child is embroiled in a custody matter in a court of law, please DO NOT SEND THE JUDGE A CERTIFIED LETTER LETTING HIM KNOW YOUR OPINION ABOUT THE ISSUES!
It is called "attempting to influence a judicial officer." It is called an "ex parte communication." It is inappropriate. It pisses off the judge, it pisses off opposing counsel, and most of all, it pisses off me, your child's lawyer. Because then I have to go and do a tap dance in front of the Court to convince the aforementioned pissed-off judge that neither me nor my client knew about your decision. And depending on the mood of the Court, my tap dance could have to become a full-cast rendition of "Riverdance." It is not a pretty sight.
Yes, yes, I KNOW the judge has not heard "your side of the story." At the risk of making you feel bad, unless you are a percipient witness to events that relate to the issues before the Court, "your side" is IRRELEVANT.
So, please - continue to love your grandchildren when they are in the custodial care of your child and do not assume the judge "is a grandparent, too" and "will know exactly how you feel."
This has been a public service announcement.
7 comments:
Good grief. With nonsense like that to deal with, no wonder your compassion is in a waning cycle.
May I just add that one of my ghetto-fabulous step-step-relatives told off a judge in court? (I opted not to send her information on that "How to Win Friends and Influence People" course.) And then my mother, who usually has a modicum of sense about such things, had the nerve to bleat about the unbelievable power judges have.
Yes, Mom. He threatened her with contempt of court. Because no matter how many TV shows try to tell us otherwise, real courtrooms ARE NOT run like "Judge Judy".
Sheesh. I think your lack of patience and compassion is rubbing off on me electronically, because I'd like to smack your client's grandmother upside the head.
"Ghetto-fabulous!" I love that! I have to share that with the other attorneys and paralegals!
Is this an example of "ghetto-fabulous?" I was representing a grandmom who was going after guardianship of her two granddaughters. Her daughter - the Bio Mom - had just gotten out of jail, unbeknownst to us, and showed up at court for a standard hearing. She came in with her hair up, and a big-ass tattoo on the back of her neck, in Old English lettering, saying, "Trust No Bitch."
GHETTO-FABULOUS! Kasia, this is as good as when you coined the phrase "Mass-a-riffic!"
Oy! Now I know why lawyers make the big bucks--Sometimes as a nurse I feel like the "middleman" with things happening beyond my control--but influencing outcomes that I get to try and fix--like hystercial patients that others escalate to the point of meltdown, and then I do a bit of Riverdancing trying to calm them back down. With all the dancing you think I could lose a bit of weight--LOL.
Your job sounds harder than mine.
Um, Digi, that story you just told is one of the MOST ghetto-fabalus things I've ever heard.
In my life.
Dang.
Digi,
Yes, that's a great example of "ghetto-fabulous". But I can't claim to have coined this one. Just Mass-a-riffic. (And Clam-tastic.)
Wow. She makes my step-step-inlaws look tame. And that's saying something.
Well, to try on the other shoes for a moment, I see a person who feels sidelined in a family matter that very much affects them. Divorces, whilst modernly commonplace, are crappy things for all but the most tangentially affected. I imagine that the grandparent has only the children's and grandchildren's interests at heart, misguided if it so be. The love for their grandchildren trumps legal decorum. I can sympathize with their plight.
Jimbob,
I understand that they feel sidelined, but doing something like that can prejudice their child's case. Understand that you can have a case where there is, say, supervised visitation for a parent and the court allows the grandparent to supervise. Grandma does this and - whammo - client is now having to pay big bucks for a professional monitor. Or worse, the court believes that the client was in collusion with his or her parent in sending the letter and is charged with contempt of court. And while it would not mean a client losing custody all together (although it could), it could raise the thought in the court's mind that the client is less likely to encourage the relationship between the child and the other parent and so the other parent gets primary custody.
Love for their grandchildren does not trump legal decorum. What trumps is what the judge says will trump. Even if the judge abuses their discretion, few people have the spare $30k sitting around to file an appeal. I agree divorces are crappy things - but they are going to be crappier if people fail to respect the bench and its rules.
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