Dang, all of my depositions tend to revolve around boring stuff like business valuations, controllable cash flows, and where the assets are hidden . . .
In this wonderful story from The New York Post, here are the highlights from the deposition of Paris Hilton, who is being sued by a Zeta Graff (who?), alleging defamation and $10 million in damages.
* Paris on the challenge of friendship: "I meet so many people. I don't even know some of my friends' names."
* On women who stalk women: "I would never say stalking. I'm not a dude. Like, I think a girl can only stalk a guy. She can't really stalk another girl."
* On travel: "I was in Europe for the whole summer, and all there is is, like, French - I didn't see anything because I wasn't in America."
* On the nature of e-mail: "Whatever I write in e-mail, it doesn't mean anything. It is just words I write."
* On Graff: "[I told her] she is old and should stay at home with her child instead of being at nightclubs with young people. And just that - I just . . . What else did I say? Just that she is not cute at all."
Is anyone else as bewildered as me by the Cult of Celebrity in America?